The Davis Express is pulling into That London for a little event at Paper Cats bookshop. I hope no-one mistakes me for a Tube seat

If I find out any of you have been chasing waterfalls, I am gonna kick off

I’ll abandon your time and place in a minute

The Davis Express has pulled into Spencer Wyndham Academy on Derby for a day of booknessnessnessnessness. The arrival of Autumn means I have progress to the school visit jumpers.

Was scouring my Twitter account for something and found this. Really gives you an insight into what makes me tick and is well worth the zoom x

When she does it, it’s a fun showbiz story, but when I do it, it’s all ‘call security’ and ‘you’re banned from Gulliver’s Kingdom.’

I’ll David Harbour you in a minute

Here’s a very important song about Batman’s hired help x

If being a passenger in a car and screaming when going over a level crossing is wrong, I don’t wanna be right

I’m afraid I don’t have any spooky books to recommend for Halloween, but I do have a few that are ouuuuttt of prriiiiiiiiiiiint! Oooooooooooooooo!

Just had to put a plaster over my son’s earring cos he has PE today. What are they doing? Orienteering.

Nick Grimshaw is on a real hot streak of good songs on 6 Music. I’m on the verge of being one of those people that text ‘keep the great tunes coming.’

I’ll Frankfurt Book Fair you in a minute

The Davis Express has pulled into Beaumont Leys School for more booknessnessnessness. How early am I? Very.

Sitting in the park while my son and his friend play football. Only ‘sigma gyatt rizzler Ohio’ goals are allowed apparently.

So stoked for this!! Brilliantly written by @bendavisauthor.bsky.social Published by @simonandschuster.bsky.social 🌈🚀✉️

It's #WorldSpaceWeek so how about writing a love poem from one alien to another? Lots of examples here: brian-moses.blogspot.com/2017/03/writ...

What’s that? A book trailer? And cover reveal? Featuring illustrations by the brilliant @nerderella.bsky.social? Go on, then.

Here’s a valuable tip for all the authors out there x

The Davis Express has pulled into Swanwick Hall School for a day of booknessnessnessnessness. How early am I? Earlier than the Earl of Earlingshire.

Just received an email: Read your book. 1/10 Nice of them to let me know, but why put the date on it?

Here’s something wild that happened last week: We ordered one of those Green Chef boxes but it never arrived. After checking the tracking, we saw it had been left in front of next door’s gate. It was quite late at this point, so when I went round and it wasn’t there, I didn’t knock the door.

RIP Tony Harrison. One of the greats. This is my fav.

The Davis Express (and associated knitwear) has pulled into the Nottingham Academy for the first burst of booknessnessnessness of the academic year. I am, as ever, stupidly early 👍

I’ll 6 7 you in a minute

Been cutting about in a jumper with my own name on it today. Disgusting behaviour.

Say what you like about the cast of the Borrowers. You’ve got to give them massive props.

Just been reminded of the time the entire family dressed up as Freddie Mercury

Treated myself to a Venice football shirt which might not be entirely legit. It’s a bit *snug*

I’ll if you’re so bothered about free speech I’m sure you’ll have lots of say about government censorship of TV shows you in a minute.

I’ll state visit you in a minute

I’ve recorded an album (I know) featuring some of my favourite kids’ poems. It’s called Naughty Poems for Nice Kids and it’s on Spotify and whatnot.

Heard an American bloke saying ‘we don’t kill people for speech in this country.’ I mean, you do though, don’t you? You’re sort of notorious for it. You’ve got boulevards and federal holidays named after people you killed for speech. Proper people. Not just gobshites.

I’ve recorded a *kids’ poetry album* which I’m gonna stick on streaming and whatnot.

Did Neil Buchanan write this?

I’ll unite your kingdom in a minute

About three years ago, I wound up a load of English people by pretending to be American

I know there are bigger issues at play but I just saw a bloke in full camo and a hi viz vest. Make your mind up, mate.

Can’t believe I’ve been form rejected by Radiohead

I’ll Banksy you in a minute

My parents have bought a VHS player off eBay so they can watch old home movies and such. Cursed.

Put my daughter down for a nap at about 5 to 3. Put some gentle lullaby music on my phone to help settle her. FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE EMERGENCY DOOMSDAY SIREN, DIDN’T I?

Me and my wife are out for wedding anniversary date night. My son said ‘don’t come home at like 1am and do sussy stuff.’

My Year 4 school report. Miss Bunnet knew what was up 😎

I’ll flag you in a minute

Just seen this photo of my grandad from back in the day. Looks like an old timey hoodlum.

There’s a fella called Bryan playing for Man Utd. Got a lot of time for that.

@bendavisauthor.bsky.social 👀🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🎹

I’m on holiday in Turkey. Waiters bring you drinks on roller boots. You can see em gliding about with trays of cocktails. Feels like it has the potential to go a bit Frank Spencer.

Look, I know it isn’t Disneyland, but these huge oak baulks are every bit as exciting! What do you mean the huge oak baulks are boring? I’ll huge oak baulk you in a minute, boy!