I would like to officially throw my hat in the ring for the position of Browns coach. I can't do worse - there's nowhere to go but up! Try something new! Just give me one year, and if I don't do well, fire me. I'll even come cheap! $1 Million. I'm a bargain!

Introduce yourself with five concerts you’ve seen: David Bowie Dead Can Dance VNV Nation The Fixx Consolidated

Yes, thank you, WTForecast, but what is the weather like?

Could not find the popcorn salt; have used Old Bay instead. Maryland folks, is this an accepted use of it?

Four TV couples that you love God, so many! Here's the first four I thought of.

I think the Chinese restaurant sent us the wrong meal, but dear god, this is so amazing I don’t care.

This is ridiculous.

It’s not that I don’t want to exercise; I actually enjoy my exercise app. I just don’t want to get out of my nice cozy bed.

Friends of friends in MN were hurt when being detained by ICE. Signal boosting their GoFundMe for medical and legal bills: www.gofundme.com/f/support-an...

I am being stared at.

Attn @lenmaessen.bsky.social

As much as it's a fun pairing, closed caption people, I seriously doubt Pembleton is calling Bayliss "baby". He's just saying "Bay".

Lately if I open a video from someone’s post here in the mobile app, I can’t close it. Nothing works but killing the app and reopening it. Am I missing something?

Okay, I will preface this with the GIGANTIC disclaimer that I promise I know how this looks, and I *swear* this is not personally motivated: If you have an old #LiveJournal account, and it has things you still care about in it, download it or import it to Dreamwidth SOON. Details:

My pharmacy is offering a “new, more personalized” experience. Which the recording told me during the two and a half minutes I had to listen to it before I could press 0 to get to a person.

I have been unable to move for hours.

I have been traveling for almost thirteen hours. I got home to find my little brother stuck a four-foot inflatable pickle in my suitcase. My family is nuts (complimentary).

I never thought I would be so happy to be in Cleveland!

I finally got fed up with waiting around with no updates and got up to head to the bathroom. So of course we’re boarding. I should have tried that an hour ago!

So far our gate started at E1 at 920. then E2, then E5. Was delayed to 1015, then 1127. Then gate changed to E1 and time to 1045. Then gate to E2. We’ve only found out about most of this from other flyers or from paying attention, because the airline is telling us fuck all.

Opinion of Hartsfield greatly improved. They do not skimp on the alcohol.

Airport hotter than hell. Plane delayed one hour (so far). Screw it; I’m in the bar.

My dad died last December and my brother died in January. My other brother had wrapping paper made with pics of them in Santa hats so they’re both with us this year. 😢

Barista asked my favorite Christmas movie. I said White Christmas. She had never heard of it. You know, it doesn’t even make me feel old, because it’s decades older than me. I’m just disappointed. That movie’s a classic!

Finally got an eggnog latte! Iced. It’s 66F. 🥵

Spending time with family. Getting my ass consistently beaten in Go Fish by an absolute MONSTER. (My seven-year-old niece.)

Did my Bluesky Wrapped. Apparently the person I talk to most is @lukesteuber.com. Should I worry? :) Also apparently I post the most at 11pm on Wednesday. *looks at the time* Well, okay! And I have 165 posts but 1.1K responses. So I don't have much to say on my own, but I love talking to people?

I decided I was tired of having almost 1,000 messages in my inbox, so I've been cleaning it out. So far I've found about 25 stories on AO3 I really meant to read, ten eBooks my mom sent me, and $790 in gift cards. Happy Chanukah to me? (Also, LBR, a metric shit-ton of junk I just deleted.)

Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. No Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, Marvel, Disney, or Pixar. So, so many for me, but especially this one.

IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!!!!! We’re entering the last few days of the Phantom Pulse Kickstarter campaign. Now is the time to join the groupies and get loud!! www.kickstarter.com/projects/aty...

Go part-time at work and go back to school.

Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild: Deer Rabbits Squirrels Turkeys Pigeons - look, they're not tame. It's not their fault their wild is overtaken with cities!

Support your local vampires! You might save a life!

Had a dream where I found two new Mt Dew flavors: Horseradish and Owlless. The Owlless didn’t taste like much of anything, by which I can only conclude that normal Mt Dew gets its flavor from owls! I never did get to try the horseradish.

Our local news just covered Dick Cheney’s funeral. Prefaced by a “SPORTS” banner.

Help an indie creator scale their business AND get cool stuff! It's a win for everyone!

Lead story on the news: an NFL player was robbed. Three minute story. Secondary story: a teenager was shot. 1 minute story. Third story: a teenager died in a hit and run. 2 minute story. WTF is wrong with this country?

The second piercing did actually achieve "what's that on your lip" from Mom! "A piercing that's been there three weeks" did not impress her.

I really hate drug commercials *anyway*, for a variety of reasons, but. There is NO SUCH THING as an "unborn baby". It is an embryo or a fetus.

Got my lip pierced two and a half weeks ago; going this weekend to get another so I have a spider bite. Mom still hasn't said anything. Either her eyesight is worse than I thought or she's trying to wait me out. 😆

Someone wants to get this for me, right? www.touchofmodern.com/sales/flavia...

Dear @bsky.app : it would be very helpful if your system would send password reset links so they arrived *before* they expired!

I am trying to explain to them that I need to go to work and cannot call out because I’m unable to move. They seem unimpressed.

I live in a pretty solidly red area, and had shitty choices for everything, so I am just going to bask in NYC's glory for a bit. Congratulations, y'all!

“At least we’ve got it stopped.” “Just as long as the arctic stays cold.” I really want a sequel to The Blob that brings it back due to global warming.

It's #AceWeek and to fulfill my duties as your friendly neighbourhood asexual, here is one of my favourite ace memes

Trying to catch up this Halloween on some of the classic horror movies I've never seen. Currently watching Evil Dead. This shit is NUTS. OMG.

My watch is telling me happy birthday, and every time I tap the message, it shows me balloons. It's a stupid but really fun little moment of zen! (It does fireworks on New Year's Eve, too.)

Well. Things are pretty bad for the current regime. Look who they've pissed off NOW. (Watch to the end, it's not just footage from Portland. Surprise musical guest!) youtu.be/bw5zxdSObso