Sure, mate. We'd all look like this:

Anyone else relieved Australia's an entire Pacific Ocean away from this malignant narcissist?

It's turned into quite the grift, hasn't it?

#Venezuelan flag pin, 'oily' Hitler moustache. European magazine cover leaves nothing to the imagination ... tinyurl.com/3vjpmy8m #Trump

#Trump: my power is only constrained by "my own morality". We're all doomed.

Why is this sycophantic weasel, Mike "Tiny" Johnson, involving himself in something that happened on the other side of the planet? More to the point, who flew Ahmed Al-Ahmed there? Any ideas, Australian Jewish Association? #BondiBeach

"The word ‘Paki’ was bandied by Farage – (he had) an entourage, hangers on", Meredith, 15 at the time, said. "They shouted 'go back home'". English readers have been shocked by revelations of racism about old mate Nige. 👇 My question: why? It's not like it was in the closet!

MY LATEST: With media boxing the PM into a small target corner on everything from Venezuela to #BondiBeach, the right is filling the rhetorical void, offering "stronger leadership". We look at the impact of media bias, notably on policy. #auspol @michaelwestbiz.bsky.social tinyurl.com/38vcw8us

I'm way too late with this one, aren't I?

But of course ... #AdelaideWritersFestival

I wonder if this 👇 moves up #Trump's Greenland schedule, @michaelpascoe01.bsky.social? Big fella loves a distraction ... #Minneapolis

Sussan Ley claws back a few votes as Corporate media and Coalition force Albanese into a corner. Oped by @AJGardineresq #auspol #RC #bondi michaelwest.com.au/albos-search...

MY LATEST: With media boxing the PM into a small target corner on everything from Venezuela to #BondiBeach, the right is filling the rhetorical void, offering "stronger leadership". We look at the impact of media bias, notably on policy. #auspol @michaelwestbiz.bsky.social tinyurl.com/38vcw8us

Feeling lonely, Derek Chauvin? Need a cellmate? ↘️ #Minneapolis

DEC: Albo rejects Bondi Beach #royalcommission. JAN: following orchestrated media campaign, Albo gives ground - will Virginia Bell be ok? FEB: on Frydenberg's orders, Albo appoints Itamar Ben-Gvir royal commissioner. "Forget about that ICC warrant, Benny. I've got your back!" 🙄 #GrowABackBone

Pittsburgh Steelers qualify for NFL playoffs on missed, end-of-game field goal. @ajgardineresq.bsky.social rushed to hospital with coronary. Few from my primarily Australian following understand what the heck I'm on about ... 🤪 Explain AFC North football to them, @grogsgamut.bsky.social ... ;)

Clearly wanting to spend more time with the, erm, kids ... #springst #auspol

@nytimes.com: Maduro's dancing triggered #Trump! t.co/2s4jgMHQdu And who could blame the Orange Abomination? Maduro is so much better at it! 👇 #Venezuela

The one thing that jumps out at me over #Trump's Venezuela misadventure is senior Democrats not going along. Utterly unlike their capitulation as George W Bush geared up for Iraq. ⤵️ These weathervanes see upside in attacking him. This could be Trump's Waterloo. bit.ly/4jqBS78

MADURO: dragged out of bed and into a New York jail cell: an illegal coup on the orders a 34 x convicted felon. ↙️ NETANYAHU: allowed through the airspace of International Criminal Court member nations; flying in the face of outstanding warrants. ↘️ Make it make sense. #Venezuela #Gaza

Captains of industry, ex-PMs and Premiers, now sporting heroes ... ⤵️ They never compile lists of luminaries 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩 a royal commission, do they? #auspol #BondiBeach

Elon Musk's Grok AI has this new "remove someone from a photo" feature. So I put it to work ... 😂 #auspol

Mick Keelty: "we deserve the truth" on #BondiBeach. We "deserve the truth" on a lot of AFP stuff, Mick. I'm sure the #Bali9 survivors would love a sit-down with you ...

Is that a #BlueWave I see, Donald? 🌊 👇 #2026MidTerms

2025. A Labor landslide, the March for Humanity, 20 per cent lopped off HECS debt, a Social Media ban for kids. Headlines aside, what did we gain, progressives? #auspol

Look on the bright side. If the media keep this #BondiBeach hysteria going into January, they might forget to persucute some poor IGA for not stocking flag-adorned inflatable lilo- thongs ... ⤵️ #AustraliaDay

Look on the bright side. If the media keep this #BondiBeach hysteria going into January, they might forget to persucute some poor IGA for not stocking flag-adorned inflatable lilo- thongs ... ⤵️ #AustraliaDay

MY LATEST: that post or text of yours on #Trump or #Gaza might backfire if you plan a trip to the US for this year's NRL or World Cup. THEY MIGHT NOT LET YOU IN. AI snooping has the 'Land of the Free' morphing into Orwell's 1984, many say. @michaelwestbiz.bsky.social tinyurl.com/NoVisa-ForYou

Always thinking outside the box, our boy #Trump. Because nothing says "comfort" like marble armrests at the place you illegally renamed to own the left. A cultural hub, which cashed up white trash like you shouldn't be allowed within 100 miles of ...

Lake Elizabeth, Otways, Vic. Grabbing a few sights on my way home to Adelaide ... despite significant 'complications' from something I ate Christmas Night (😢). Why doesn't this lake have a 1st Nations name, local MP Dan Tehan? You'd be all over this if it was a frayed flag with a Union Jack on it*.

Why don't you just call them the 'K' word* and be done with it, Boykie**?

MY LATEST: that 5 year old text or post you wrote calling #Trump a clown could cost you plenty if you’re planning a trip to the US for this year's NRL or World Cup. *Warning*: you might not get in. AI snooping has the 'Land of the Free' looking more like Orwell's 1984, many say. bit.ly/3N0istt

Plan a trip to the NRL in Las Vegas, or the World Cup? That old social media post bagging Trump could make it the trip from hell. @ajgardineresq.bsky.social on visa nightmares, cratering US tourism #auspol michaelwest.com.au/land-of-the-...

Sure. And I spotted Dezi Freeman at Domino's in Colac, ordering a large Hawaiian ... ⬇️ 🙄 #NewsCorpse

This is just about non-stop atm. You can take the boy out of Bloemfontein ...

Now you know how Native Americans felt ...

They'll say it's yet another underage girl with a dirty old man ... #Trump

Self-destruct. (It took the Romans centuries). #Trump

This 'Aryan' geezer is so easy. With a handle like that, he's also a Nigel Farage fan boy, am I right? #Ashes #AUSvENG

Goodbye Sorrento (left) hello Queenscliff, Victoria. Not-so-fun fact: Harold Holt "disappeared" behind the cliff at right. #BoxingDayTrivia

No need for the unredacted #EpsteinFiles. Here's your evidence: ⬇️ #Trump

Al Quran: "Jesus [is] honoured, and he will be one of those nearest to Allah". Israeli minister Ben-Gvir: "We spit when passing a monastery or a priest. I believe this violates nothing." Selective, sure, but Ben-Gvir and Bibi have all the power. I mean, would Jesus do this? ⬇️ #Christmas

Is #Trump "overseeing" construction of a new battleship the same as Kim Jong Un overseeing the North Korean rocket program? I mean, what could go wrong?

So I did the new Melbourne Metro tour today. That's right: "get a life Andrew". Efficient/convenient for the most part, but the 240m gap b/w "linked" stations Town Hall & Flinders Street isn't optimal. Decor? Interesting in a utilitarian kind of way ... but Sydney's metro probably wins on style.

Doubling down. Overpaying her hand. Pick your poker phraseology. When the #bondibeach emotion ebbs, Sussan Ley will emerge, looking like a conniving clown. Was a few rounds of applause on Sky After Dark really worth it? #auspol

#Steelers hang on ... somehow. Nobody among my primary Australian following cares, do they? #SteelersvLions #SteelersNation

And again! #JaylenWarren 45 yards (again) to the house!!# #Steelers29Lions17 #SteeletsvLions #SteelersNation

G'day everyone! Apropos of nothing ... #JaylenWarren #Steelers22Lions10 #SteelersvsLions #Steelers

Can't help noticing Matt Golding's latest cartoon (below) was published on The Age's letters page, but not in its Sydney Morning Herald counterpart. Given the latter's 'coverage' (for want of a better word) of #bondibeach, I'm not surprised. #auspol

Members of England's Barmy Army take their shoes off 𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦 ... ⤵️ ... and the stench wafted clear to Kangaroo Island. #TheyShowerOnceAMonth #Ashes2025 #AUSvsENG