> LE: Watch fail videos and belly chuckle really fucking hard.

TIME'S UP BITCH.

YES THEY WILL. THEY WILL LISTEN BECAUSE ANYBODY WHO DOESN'T WILL PAY THE PRICE WHEN I EVENTUALLY DESTROY MY PODCASTING COMPETITION. AND ONCE THEY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LISTEN. I WILL DO WELL ON MY PROMISE. AND THEN I SHALL TAKE WHAT WAS PROMISED TO ME.

OK. YOU KNOW WHAT. I AM GOING TO FORGIVE YOU. FOR HAVING A DISABILITY OF THE EARS AND EYES. BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON'T GIVE EVEN A MIRCOCOSM OF A ZERO DOT ONE PERCENT OF A FUCK. ABOUT HOW OTHERS POD THEIR CASTS. AND TO SUGGEST THAT I MIGHT. IS EVEN MORE INFURIATING.

OH GOD. I ALMOST FORGOT. THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE TO TALK WITH CITIZENS. IF I WANT TO BE A *PROPER* INFLUENTIAL FIGURE.

I WILL DO THE MOST HONORABLE THING A MAN CAN DO. FOR YOU. THAT'S RIGHT. THE ONE WHO IS READING THIS. IF THE MONOLITHIC AEON-SPANNING HOE KNOWN AS JANE CROCKER DOES NOT STOP HER FEMALE MEDDLING, I WILL STEP IN. AND ELIMINATE THE SCANDALOUS EMPRESS MYSELF. YOU HAVE MY WORD! AND, YOU HAVE TWO DAYS.

CROCKERCORP IS AN UNEQUIVOCAL SHAM. YOU SEE, I HAVE BEEN READING. AND ABSORBING MANY IMPORTANT THINGS. NONE OF WHICH RELATE TO CROCKERCORP. HOWEVER. IT IS CLEAR TO ME. THAT YOUR SOCIETY IS NOW UNDER THE ENGORGED HOOF OF A RAVENOUS, CIRCULAR PIG. SO HERE IS WHAT I'LL DO.

HELLO DIRK. I WANT TO POD A CAST.

THE FIRST PART OF ESTABLISHING ANY GOOD POLITICAL BASE IS BY BROADCASTING YOUR VOICE. THROUGH SOME SORT OF POD. I MAY EVEN DO SOME. "DEBATES." BECAUSE I VALUE THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS. SO VERY, VERY MUCH.

WHY DID THEY MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT A GREEN WOMAN. WHO IS SCORNED FOR BEING EVIL. THEY SHOULD PRODUCE A MOVIE LIKE THAT FOR ME. EXCEPT I AM MORE RELATABLE AND DO NOTHING WRONG. OH WAIT. THEY ALREADY WROTE A STORY ABOUT THAT!

YOU KNOW WHAT. I THINK I AM GOING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

YES. LAUGH AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. AT MY TINY HEAD. RELATIVE TO MY STOLEN FUTURE BODY. WHAT YOUR UNDERDEVLOPED NON-FLASHING EYES DON'T COMPREHEND IS JUST HOW FUCKING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

> LE: Loom.

KILL EVERYBODY YOU DISAGREE WITH.

OH MY GOD. DIRK THOUGHT HE COULD TORMENT A SPECIES BETTER THAN ME. I AM ACTUALLY CRYING RAINBOW TEARS.

I WAS JUST INFORMED THAT I STILL HOLD TOTAL DOMINION OVER REALITY. WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO DO ANYTHING.

KILL ALL FISHMEN.

WHAT. NO HE ISN'T. EVEN THOUGH HE IS AN ETERNALLY WEEPING SCUMBAG. WITH "DEPRESSION" WHERE HIS ENTHUSIASM SHOULD BE. IT IS SENSIBLE TO SAY. THAT HE IS TOTALLY FUCKING GAY TO BE PLAYING MY GAMES. USE CONTEXT CLUES, BITCH.

WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. SEE, LOOK. I AM GOING TO REVERT MY MEMORY TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN'T REMEMBER LOOKING AT YOUR SWOLLEN LECHEROUS BEHIND.

@miasmajesty.bsky.social RESPOND NOW YOU REPREHENSIBLE PHALLUS CHURNING FUCK.

SHUT UP. STOP FLAUNTING. YOU DISGUSTING SKANK. MY BOYS ARE ON THEIR WAY. TO DESTROY YOU.

THAT GUY'S ARTERIES LOOKED DELICIOUS BTW. (THIS MEANS BY THE WAY.)

ERM. AAAAAAAWKWAAAARD.

“𝟷𝚂 𝟷𝚃 𝚆𝟹𝟷𝚁𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝟷𝚂𝚂 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝟹𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈 𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙳𝟷𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝟷𝙽𝙶 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙲𝟺𝚄𝚂𝟹 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙻𝟹𝙼𝚂?” [ 🔞 | 𝚂𝙵𝚆 - 𝚅𝙰𝙻𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙴 ]

HOW ARE THESE GHOSTS STILL ALIVE. DON'T YOU ALL HAVE SOME SORT OF BEEFBODY AVATAR TO GET UTTERLY TROUNCED BY.

MOVE.

NO WAY. YOU ARE? WHAT A STUNNING REVELATION. I'M SO WROUGHT WITH HUMAN CRYING EMOTIONS. CALLED SADNESS. AT THIS VERY IMPORTANT FACT. A FACT SO IMPORTANT. THAT THE MAN IT IS ATTACHED TO IS INSANELY FUCKING IRRELEVANT BY ASSOCIATION. > Your hands twitch. > You want to kill it so badly.

EVERYBODY LOOK AT THIS. ALL OF MY 53 FOLLOWERS BEGIN LOOKING AT THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

MOVE. BITCHES. MOOOOOOOOVE.

OOPS. I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED THE BUTTON. THAT SENDS A POWERFUL PLUSH FRIEND TO TORMENT AN ENTIRE SPECIES OF GREYSCALE HORNED FREAKS.

YES JUST SEND ME IT. OUR TRANSACTION WILL BE SECRET. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD.

OKAY. SO IT SEEMS THAT FEMALE GENDER (AS USUAL) HAS HIJACKED THE MOST HOLY AND PASSIONATE DISPLAY OF ARTISTRY EVER CONCIEVED. ONCE WE WERE FREE FROM THEIR CONSTRICTIVE GRIP OF OPPRESSION. OF BISHIE BOYS EXPRESSING A PURE AND RIGHTEOUS BROHOOD AMONGST EACH OTHER. I DON'T WANT TO ENGAGE IN YOUR FAITH.

WHAT IS THAT. WHAT'S A YURI.

HE NEVER ANSWERED. THIS IS WHY HE NEEDS TO DIE.

MESSAGE ME. GIVE YOUR STASH. AND AS A FAVOR I WON'T MURDER YOU.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION YOU ARE IN. I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M STILL DIGNIFYING YOUR DELIRIOUS HOE STATURE RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT THE MAN I ONCE WAS. YOU CANNOT RAPID PUNCH ME IN AN ANNOYINGLY COMPETENT MANNER.

EW. > Equip rifle. > Shoot it out of instinct.

HELLO. BITCHES.

MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY

LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. AND KILL. DIRK STRIDER.

THIS USER BEARS MY CURSE. BTW.

LYING TO CHILDREN IS SO FUCKING EASY. HOLY SHIT.

IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE A GROWN MAN KILL HIMSELF.

OH MY LEGENDARY HUMAN CHRIST SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU DON'T EVEN GET IT. WE HAVE A MUTUAL DISTASTE FOR FISHMEN. WE SHOULD CELEBRATE THIS MOMENTUS ACHIEVEMENT OF MY FATHERHOOD. WITH A CELEBRATORY VIDEO. WHICH I DISCOVERED. DIRK THIS IS US.

WHAT. I'M NOT A LIAR. YOU MISERABLE GENETIC MISHAP. IS THIS ANOTHER CHERUB RACISM THING. ABOUT MY FORKED TONGUE. OBVIOUSLY, IT IS. JUST BECAUSE I LUMBER AROUND TALKING ABOUT KILLING YOU DOES NOT MEAN... WELL. HOLD ON. I MIGHT ACTUALLY DO THAT.

> LE: Belly laugh so hard while watching fail videos that you nearly choke on your caramel popcorn.

OH MY GOD. ALL OF THESE GHOSTS WANT A PIECE OF MY MMMMMMMEAAAAAAAAAAT TODAY.

LISTEN TO THIS GUY. HE THINKS HE IS REALLY "ABOUT THAT LIFE." YOU ARE MY SON. I AM LIKE YOUR GODFATHER. EXCEPT SOMETHING MUCH LESS INSIPID AND TERRIBLE. LIKE "LORDFATHER." YEEEEEEEEEEEES. FROM NOW ON, I AM YOUR LORDFATHER.

QUIET. I DO NOT NEED YOUR PERMISSION. TO MURDER A STRANGELY RELATABLE FISH MAN.

I SMELL LASER FODDER. COME OUT. COME OUT. I WON'T HURT YOU!