Diva you’re so funny. Would you send me pics of you in a jock???

fucked up my neck somehow and keep getting the worst headache in the back of my head at night 🫥

Me to my partner “oh you know the ginger guy online I have a crush on”

So funny that over and over again the Supreme Court bends and twists itself to provide cover for Trump or an easy way out for Trump and he refuses to use it and instead calls them all lapdogs and terrible people.

if Wegovy ends up working for me and I lose 50 lbs, ill post full dick on main

I too enjoy the lil monkey with the stuffed animal but some online commentators need to understand that monkeys are not humans and zoo keepers might actually know what’s best for the animals they support and care for

ill be honest, i really need someone at my work/life to tell me im smart and valuable and respected and an authority or im going to have the biggest crash out ever.

Great that we ruled tariffs are illegal, a year after they started

Fridayyyyyyy

i was the original sleepy head. Passion Pit stole that from me.

Me omw to annoy my bf

Dm bots aren’t fooling me, men don’t message me asking how I’m doing!!

Forgot that Catholics do that ash forehead thing this week and saw someone in public with it and nearly jumped back in fear.

At this point Trump is just straight up explaining in public how he’s stealing tax payer money and no congress person cares

Phenomenal that the us college system is actively working to make the degrees they hand out more and more worthless with each passing day.

Repeating till I’m blue in the face: there is no point in having a review workflow if the person giving the final approval doesn’t catch errors!!

Convinced that like 90% of my coworkers concerns could be solved if we just started adding rounded corners to all the rectangles on our brand

I’m so glad that monkey found friends and family 🥲

Anyway, bf and I are likely going to nyc at the end of July. So drop recommendations for someone who hasn’t been in a decade

Kinda sucks that the devs made it possible to both live as a complex being in this beautiful world and severely hate every aspect of your self. Someone should patch that.

imagine being an Olympic athlete and getting upstaged by a doggy

I am writing a short story nobody will ever read about harsh winter blizzards, lacquered Matryoshka dolls, and a man who weaves trauma out of men’s bodies.

It seems to take the average ai user precisely 2 days of usage to go from “I’ll use it to help me sometimes” to “I can’t do anything without AI” and that is very scary to me!

Every day I log into work and have a losing battle with people about how utterly unimportant our LinkedIn account is for generating pipeline for our business.

I can’t keep dealing with grown men being passive aggressive at my work

A dem politician gets up and stumbles over one talking point: game over for them. Trump stands up mid meeting to stare at an empty hole in the ground then sits back down and falls asleep: god king for 12 more years.

love being a lil court jester oh king here come the jokes oh king i am so sad i am the only one who recognizes the cruel reality of the situation we are all in oh king please do not fire me!

if you’re a conservative politician you’re allowed to be an absolute fucking weirdo and nobody cares anymore

In any other administration, a department head purposefully taking a video of him shirtless working out would be considered improper and unprofessional but again, these special boys can do whatever they want.

Eyes of a sad (somewhat czech) man

“There’s lots of white space do we need to address this with the web team” and it’s just a perfectly normal amount of white space between two sections on the web.

i am so tired of living in a country where political scandal doesn’t stick to republicans and they are largely allowed to say or do whatever they’d like without any consequences by our media elites

funny that I kinda thought emdr was totally bunk, then I did it and haven’t thought consciously and negatively about my childhood trauma since.

🔔 reminder: only 37 weeks left till midterms!

The way some of y’all expect trans people to vote for candidates who actively seek them harm is shocking.

if u ever try and convince someone using X is a moral failure they start talking about bars and community spaces and publicly pushing out Nazis and sure that’s all good but public spaces don’t have algorithms…

Put together the hardest gundam model of my life 💀

X-men are so goofy what do you mean a special gene allows one of them to make a tornado??

Let’s get him there folks

Goodnight my fellow gooners

i want a big butt

a lot of people online want to earnestly believe that the majority of Americans make their political decisions based on carefully crafted household budgets and also dunk on the op-eds where a Trump voter says something nonsensical like “I get all my news from my dad’s cat”

Horny with a chance of meatballs 2

Pug has abandoned me to continue laying under his father’s desk. And on my birthday weekend 😞

Planted some flowers

need to look sexy in a way that terrifies my enemies and mesmerizes my fans

The thing I hate most about ai is it convinced a bunch of people who think working a lot is a personality trait, that they’re special and important.

If you’re hot let me make out with you

Bday butt

FaceTimed with my mom today and she did not know what happened to the American male figure skater who fell from grace. I didn’t have the heart to warn her. She was saying how much she loves him and how awesome he is.