I enjoyed Wicked 2 but it did feel like the latest in long line of films dedicated to re-examining & reframing the evil villains of my youth. Darth Vadar, the Wicked Witch, the Joker, Thatcher! What next? A Dick Dastardly origin film in which it turns out Penelope Pitstop was the baddy all along?

Ok, here's an opinion. The song they cut out of The Muppets Christmas Carol was the only one that fulfilled a narrative function in the film.

Interestingly, it's been the first Christmas where we didn't mind when our relatives brought up the subject of David Walliams.

The thing about trying to make a career out of being creative is that you're trying to do two quite distinct things. It's nice when they align but they won't always. And you feel it when you're struggling creatively or financially.

A song from the archives - 6 months ago

On a few occasions this year I've been on stage just before or just after national treasures. I'd like to think that means I qualify as a national trinket.

If you missed David Walliams on Would I Lie to You, the answer was Yes.

Every day this year my phone has told me my face doesn't match. I hope it's because the facial recognition feature doesn't work.

The nice thing about inventing family traditions is that the kids get to invent them too. My son brought in a Christmas Eve trip to junk food restaurant a few year's back. He snuck it in & now it's Canon.

Christmas shopping achieved. @bowlofchalk.bsky.social

Just a general note, apropos of nothing, if any book festivals find themselves having to replace a high profile children's author next year, I'm both available & massively entertaining.

If I was a primary school teacher I'd totally have put on a 'Traitors themed' nativity this year. I'd have one wise man, one shepherd and one farmyard animal secretly working for Herod.

I've always loved how much this book divides readers. Here is a varied selection of recent reviews for The Considine Curse. I think all these opinions are entirely valid. The book won the Blue Peter Book of the Year 2012. It is still available to order & buy from all good book retailers.

I've sent my first venue enquiry about taking The Ministry of Mini Musicals to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Am I really doing this? The last time I performed at the Fringe was 1992!

Thank you Irish PLR. I will spend this pre-Christmas bonus on a little crack, as they like to say... I think that's right, isn't it?

Well done Australia for taking the lead & offering to provide some irl data on how banning kids from social media might work. I'm reliably informed we should have some useful figures with 6-7 months.

Sometimes I wish I was a celebrity author, not for the sales boost or big festival invites, but because I'd actually quite like someone else to turn my half-baked ideas into book words for me. Must be so much easier.

For a few years I would do a free school event around now in conjunction with a bookseller to stimulate book sales, raise money for independent booksellers & spread a little Christmas joy, but now I think about it I think all of the booksellers I did this with have gone out of business

This Spotify average age thing is such utter bollocks, but it's exactly the kind of utter bollocks that people like, so whoever came up with it is good at their job, even if there job is coming up with utter bollocks.

Amazon, stop recommending books I wrote to me, just because the only books I look up on Amazon are books I wrote.

This year's Christmas song

I'm beginning to wonder if someone shouldn't take Oliver Jeffers' phone off him.

I did do a rage bait song but listening back I'm not sure these examples are likely to garner the right level of rage.

I was going to do a song about rage bating but here's this weekend's song instead. youtube.com/shorts/xiRxr...

I know I'm not a natural born picture book writer because whenever I see the roughs of one of my books I'm always surprised to find a whole new element of the story that I didn't imagine when I wrote the text.

I'm learning a lot about teaching from this year's experience of being a ukulele teacher for KS1. One of the kids is both the most disruptive & the most able child in the class.

You can trace the decine of Walliams by how much fancy dress he deploys for each new book. We'll know the end is near when he goes full gruffalo.

Just a few weeks left for publishers to submit books to the Jhalak Prize...this is me and Rikin Parekh, the artist in residence 2022! I won for Danny Chung Does Not Do Maths @piccadillypress www.jhalakprize.com

I don't want to big myself up but this morning I sorted out plumbing problem (our sink wasn't draining) using a coat hanger and some pliers. Don't try telling this man he ain't handy.

I'm 51 and I've just realised no one has asked me about my GCSE results for decades now, so if anyone wants to buy them off me, they're available.

That Trump Mamdani meeting is fascinating stuff.

Yesterday's journey to Derby took a long time as passengers had to queue all round St Pancras. This chaos was created by bad management decisions. Rather than give into anger/annoyance I took out my ukulele & spent most of the time making up songs about people in the queue as we waited.

A selection of songs from February 2024, including 3 songs about other author's books (one of which is now included in CinderGorilla The Musical) a song about serendipity & a song about the days of the week featuring my daughter. youtu.be/SA4E-l77Z4g?...

Just remembered that time I turned Saltburn into a puppet musical. youtu.be/pJqCqOJua78?...

I get the impression a lot of people think fascist means 'baddy'. It doesn't mean 'baddy'. Fascism is an ideology involving a dictatorial leader, forcible suppression of opposition, strong regimentation of society & economy. If those things apply, that's fascism. It just is.

Seasons Song acting as a poem

When I get school visit enquires, I always type out the replies. I don't use a template or ask co-pilot to draft my reply. I'm not sure why. I think it's because it reminds me why I so love that aspect of the job. If you are a school/library & you're interested in booking a visit drop me a line.

I wrote this song a couple of months ago. It's written from the point of view of a flat earther. I don't think songs get seen (or heard) much here on bluesky but if you do hear it, I hope you like it. youtube.com/shorts/ngbU2...

The pork calling the kettle black?

This week's songs so far include this one... youtube.com/shorts/doCNk...

Today on a zoom meeting I said, "Oh, I regularly google myself." Last week, talking to another author, I heard myself say, "Increasingly I feel like my life is my art." I think I need to stop saying stuff out loud.

I was watching a piano tutorial about this song & I worked it out on the piano but then I wondered how it would sound on the ukulele then I made this. youtube.com/shorts/qbUsA...

Once again, it's the day after Michael Rosen Day and I've woken up with a banging head, chocolate cake smeared on my walls, no memory of what happened last night and a ruddy great bear in my bedroom. When will I learn?

On a writing break, I set these words to music. The song ended on an unexpected chord, but I think maybe that's appropriate so I didn't correct it.

Today's song youtube.com/shorts/JS2GS...

Teaching kids ukulele, it's interesting to identify tribalism in music at such a young age. 7 year olds who can't simply not like Taylor Swift, but have to actively HATE her music. I'm trying to show them that it's possible to find something to enjouy in every genre of music if you only listen.

You know how we all work for supermarkets now, operating the tills, packing the bags etc. I've been struggling to work out how I'm getting paid for that. Is it through the absolute bargain prices or the stock value from their profits? Can anyone clarify how I claim my wages?

Exciting post yesterday