Some notes on the present and how to remain in it from your favorite fallen woman:

Skirting around

London callers, here’s your chance [email protected]

Stay right there. Hold it… that’s the one.

I couldn’t pick so I’m posting them all. Which one is your favorite? Your options are: A) boss lady meets tiny waist B) belly button sees the light of day C) the ghost of me E) least amount of clothes pls

People won’t remember your watch collection, but they will remember how enigmatic your +1 was.

Beaming

New piece on being a giraffe in this business and beyond, from your resident talk glass of water 🦒💦

I’ve been on both sides of the agency/independent coin. Keen to hear your thoughts on this one!

(Carpet)burning for your love

London, I’m coming for you (8-14). Quick, hide your boyfriends and girlfriends!

Just a girl with a suspicious collection of pens

Window shopping?

Need a plus one to your ex’s wedding?

Occupational cardio: getting my 10k steps in at Heathrow Airport

Last chance to get on my mailing list before I send out a love note men used to go to war for!!

London, August 4-7, be there or be square

If you’d like to get to know me a little more intimately, this just came out.

Happy to represent “serene affluence” from the edge of your infinity pool.

Here’s to recycling for the rest of my life

Tallinn’s so charming! Almost as charming as you all 😘

Talking jock in the locker room

There’s a fresh new blogpost on my website, and it also so happens to be my first attempt at the subtle art of rage bait.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

Jean-ie in a bottle

On the prowl in London right now

Just an analogue girl in a digital world

My ballet teacher once told me she would cut off my feet in the night because they are so perfectly high-arched and if this knowledge does something to you then yes, consider this a soft plug.

Wanna hear me rambling on about objects of desire, the power of saying yes, tearing stockings, couples, and women hiring us and, dare I say — quite candidly?

Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Cause you’re looking like a snack

Not that I would know, but I recently noticed that wasabi smells a lot like coke and omakase just hasn’t been the same since

Imagine being able to suck your own toes and for that unlikely skill to become a USP and dark horse revenue source 😏

ADHD is booking a ticket to a city for the right dates but the wrong month & now having an extra flight ticket to Marseille without something to do in Marseille. So… do I have any admirers in the oldest city of France?

Ok so I will share something with you now. I used to watch this MTV show called “Room Raiders” as a young kid and it was so formative for my psyche. To this day I organise my home according to belief that that any moment now, I too, could have potential date intrusively raid through all my things.

Hey lovelies, I had an in-depth conversation about seeing an uptick of women clients with Riese, co-founder of Autostraddle. She was amazing to talk to. Check it out here (you get two free articles if you’re not a member!) and let me know what you think?

A blonde, a brunette, and the kind of chemistry you can’t bottle- only reflect. @charlielevine.bsky.social

Hey London, how many more bathtubs have you got?

Meet me by the fountainhead?

Nothing illustrates the paradox of wanting something only to hesitate once it’s available like a cat at an open door.

“Your mitochondria are about to sing”

What I mean when I say “long-legged” 🦒

ex-fling today after 2.5 years of complete silence:

in my eyes, hooded, slightly drooping eyelids are some of the most beautiful features a person can have, yet the people I know who have them usually want to get them ‘fixed’

The name ‘Talulah’ sounds both whimsy and ornamental to me and I like it so much.

Touching grass, yes really 🥰

Why make wishes when you can make decisions?

Love a date who literally gets on his knees to take a good picture of me 😇

I need a PA who’s actually an experienced project manager. The project? My life.

Is having lips a necessary condition for kissing? Serious question

A Dutchman, Jacob van Lier, just married an AI chatbot. I truly think that human girlfriends are going to be the biggest flex and status symbol soon. Like you actually got a human to like you? In the age of insufferable AI validation and instant gratification? You must be the real deal.