A malaphor is an unintentional combination of two idioms or clichés, but a *malafour* is “I’ll nuke that bridge when the cows freeze over.” Thank you. Thank you.

Be mine, husky Valentine. I made my bed this morning, I swear.

7 Stages of Pen Grief: 1. Realizing it doesn't work 2. Scribbling on the notebook 3. Scribbling harder on some cardboard or whatever 4. Looking at the full ink reservoir and frowning 5. Sucking on the ballpoint 6. Scribbling on the notebook some more 7. Throwing it across the room

A bassist and a lamp, St Ann street, New Orleans

Some days I just have to realize that I’m so goth I fought Death in a Florida swamp and won (and also I’m a professional vampire tour guide), so even if I don’t always have the energy to style myself like a creature from the black abyss, I don’t need to. I am more than enough spooky.

Someone asked me the other night if there were *any* vampire stories that I *hated,* and honestly? I couldn’t think of a single one I actively disliked that much. Like, they all have *something* interesting for me. I’ll be disappointed in a failed premise, but not a hater.

Vampire stories ARE political. They always have been. I fight people over this on my French Quarter vampire tours, and it’s amazing how many people think I’m “re-writing history” by simply pointing this out.

Was just reminded that you can see my dad in the Netflix documentary, “The Greatest Night in Pop” around the 1 hour, 22 minute mark. He worked as a video tech for high-profile TV events from the late 1970’s through early 2010’s. I miss him.

All right. I am officially tired of being essentially snowed in. Or iced in. I’m remembering why I learned to dislike snow in Pennsylvania in 2008. This stuff is going to take FOREVER to melt if temps don’t get above freezing for very long. I live in the south! It’s not fair!

Sneaux!

The Last Showgirl was fantastic. I cannot recommend it enough. Pamela Anderson is amazing, but the whole cast was stellar. I cried. Lots. Right there in the theater seat.

Last night on my vampire tour, while discussing St. Germain, I mentioned that the archives of the Theosophical Society in Altadena had just burned down. The ASSHOLE group from Baton Rouge and Pass Christian gloated.

Meta is hell but I still hate the interface over here. If y’all want me to be active over on this app I’ll need a bit of engagement and encouragement. I love my Threads but I’m reading the writing on the wall.

Chat, how do I cure my insomnia/ imposter syndrome/ writer’s block? I’m pretty sure all three of these are connected.

I’ve been over on Threads, mostly, which I’ve enjoyed quite a lot. But I’ll poke around here a bit more, too, and see what happens.

This is my first post. I don’t know what to say. But the vampire novel I wrote was nominated for a bunch of Queer Indie Awards categories. I found out today, and I’m pretty chuffed.