One of my favorite flavors is onion.

Grinder is crazy at IMLBB

Facebook will only let me receive messages, not send them. Does that make me a strict bottom now?

I forgot how absolutely horned impact can make me.

I just picked the lint out of my belly button and I'm better now.

As I'm turning 27, the next person that infantilizes me is getting cussed out. I'm not "a literally baby" or "just a child." I'm a fully grown man. My size is actually a medical condition that's none of your fucking business! Just say happy birthday like a normal person, okay, thanks!

My sister made me retake the RAADS-R test and I got a 131 again a short play... Sister: I got a 30 and my bf got a 23 Me: I thought it was impossible to get below a 100 Sister: That is because you are autistic Me: How do you even function without autism? Like, how do you complete your day? she loled

I don't care how big it is. I'm talking about your bootblacking kit. I would like to see your dick though.

You know what? I love myself. Even if I look like a burnt chicken nugget, I still love myself.

I'm a fanboy.

I like being flirted with by fems but in like a nerd/mean girl or dorky dad/divorced housewife kind of way. As in I am bad at verbally flirting back so my jaw is slack. As in brats, I will out brat you from the top. As in I'm a sadist so let me kiss you with a whip. Mascs/andro idk, let's smash.

I don't usually shill for google but they're celebrating Route 66

I am more nervous for my imlbb interview than my job interview tomorrow.

I got the job interview! My ducks are falling in line.

IMsLBB has me horned you've been warned.

My sadist cup is full and my FUCK cup is thirsty. Yay?

I told you big things in May!

Always a good night out with a clean and shine from @anotheratlas.bsky.social 🖤

"So you're the boot man?" "Why yes. I guess I am."

Big things happening May 8th! Get your leather and $$ dirty for me.

They just cleaned the bathrooms at the gas station 😭😭😭

I think I'm dizzy from huffing Lincoln.

Whales are so scary ngl youtu.be/NLaNg10F8Uk?...

It's a sign! They moved the start of Route 66 on my way to work.

I had a dream that my parents cooked spam for my sister but it was mine and I was sad.

I'm addicted to the Sims 4, thank you.

Getting deadnamed at the bank while also being called "sir," "bro," and "boss" is honestly so affirming.

I forget how heavy my formals are until I take them off and collapse on the floor.

I didn't join this community to be a social media influencer. I came to fuck.

Absolute legend straightening her hair with no mirror on the moving Metra.

I made a BDSM dungeon in the Sims 4. Again.

Bad bunny is a good day to be bisexual

I put the maaaaaaan in manic!

I make a mean spam

I'm highkey emotional about my car. She was my first. I named her Zagreus, after the Hades character, bc she helped me escape my parents' house. I thought we would grow old together but she's suddenly gone too soon. I will miss her dearly and remember her fondly.

My car is totaled. Fuck life right now

My mother shit talks our neighbor for being pro-Trump and then invited said neighbor over for Christmas eve dinner. She feels far superior to my pro-Trump aunt, but then my mother will host said aunt for brunch and crafts. She eats at Chick-fil-a but only if there's a discount. Make it make sense.

I am very mad at the snow right now.

Side note: working in with your buddy but with separate towels so it's not gay.

The gym is too crowded. Liiiiike why is half my workout waiting for a machine?

Maybe the real bingo was the friends we made along the way.

This item is the key to truly unlocking your fortune.

Hot topic was out of Katseye t-shirts in my size so I sprang for the hoodie.

I'm into D/s and my Nintendo 2DS.

Do not feed the wild animals.

I'm busy at work playing Nintendo DS, sorry!

I sold my Occulus Quest 2 bc it gave me a headache on many levels

I used to think social media was like my digital newsletter to share with friends. Now I know it's for shit posting.

You are gay.

Mother is the necessity of invention.