For my own safety & wellbeing, I’m back using Twitter but on a private account only. This’ll be temporary (a situation needs resolving first), but for the time being I want to have a private space where only people I have approved can see what I say.

Me: *burps* Mr Spice: “Sexy.” Me: “Am I as sexy as the day we met?” Mr Spice: “Sexier because now I know what that mouth do.” I was eating sushi and snorted so hard it’s now in my nose 😂

Jet lag is a THING holy shit.

This just shows you to be a liar tbh. How am I supposed to sell merch using pictures I nabbed from google images and NO SHOP LINK? Thanks for the idea though. When I’m back from Thailand I might set up a shop and I’ll use these demented screenshots to promote it 😂

For some bizarre reason, Damian Wilde (who I forgot even existed) has decided my post regarding Cartland’s circumstances is about him. ???? What.

If I was facing civil litigation and FTP proceedings for online harassment and defamation, I’d be deleting social media and keeping my head down. The LAST thing I’d be doing is continuing the exact behaviour I’m under scrutiny for and digging an already massive hole even bigger.

If you’re in a rush and don’t check the pockets of your clothes before you wash them, you might just accidentally wash a green biro and get ink all over your boyfriend’s designer clothes. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.

“Same lab as Nat”. Oh, petal. I left my hospital job over a year ago. Those investigative skills are terrible. Don’t quit your day job. Oh wait lol.

On Friday I will be sipping a cocktail on a sunbed in Koh Tao while I tune into a FTP tribunal to document some easy CPD🍹

Posting about MY OWN anatomy and MY OWN genitourinary health is not an invitation for you to refer to me as “old blistered cunt”, post memes about my genitals, or spread rumours to >200k people that I have herpes. You have sexually harassed me and there is no avoiding that fact.

Life is SO GOOD right now 🤩

Cartland’s tribunal resumes on Wednesday. Should there not be a strike off, my own GMC report is ready to submit, containing evidence of him attacking me for a sensitive GU condition that I made very clear traumatised me, and colluding with a man who has a police caution for the same behaviour.

If multiple different people who don’t know each other are telling you that you are a problem, it’s probably time to reflect on that and institute some change.

These coming weeks are going to be GOOD 😁

Mr Spice: “Your waist is very ergonomic and I like your vaginal topography.” Ladies and gentlemen, this right here is dirty talk 😂

If you are being stalked & harassed online, as hard as it is you must ignore it. The Crown Prosecution Service will be significantly more likely to accept your case if the individual won’t stop when ignored. The longer it goes on for, the deeper they dig their hole.

Couple of my neighbours moved out and dumped their boxed up, near-new coffee machine and air fryer in the bin shed. I’ll av that, thank you very much!

I see some people online all day personally attacking and harassing people and I just want to shake them. Like, ffs you’re wasting your pathetic little life on…this?! Gonna be on your death bed looking back at your life and this will be what you remember. Sad.

“Male loneliness epidemic” my ass. Some that are missing: • Chronic gamer • Mommy’s boy • Wants to be mothered Any others? 😂

Yep!

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS CHEMTRAIL. Damn she THICC. They are megadosing us with *insert demented gibberish here*.

Haha someone is having a really bad day today and I am so here for it.

We replaced the light in the front room a while ago and I insisted we keep the old one for a car boot. Mr Spice was like “I’m telling you, that won’t sell!”, but I was adamant because I hate waste. Well he’s doing a car boot this morning and I just got this text 🤣

If a woman tells you to stop, “no” or to leave her alone, you leave her the fuck alone. Not doing so demonstrates an extremely concerning lack of boundaries and understanding of consent.

Just asked Mr Spice if he pees sat down because the toilet is always so clean. His answer was “no, but if I get any anywhere then I clean up after myself because I’m not an animal”. I’m going to marry this one.

Mr Spice, looking through old photos of me in my 20s: “Jesus Christ, the guys you dated before me who didn’t treat you right REALLY fucked up.” Yes and DON’T YOU FORGET IT 💅🏻😂

A (currently at least) doctor , cyberstalking you and pronouncing a non-existent diagnosis ? Man , that is messed up , I’m sorry you’re on the end of his abuse and harassment.

Sat here doing a breast self-exam while I watch a lecture on breast cancer histology. Check yourself!

There is no such thing as ‘VAIDS’. If you’re exposed to Borrelia, your immune system is VERY unlikely to fight it off. A doctor should know the pathogenesis of Lyme Disease. Get off my Blue Sky, you fucking creep.

Awaiting a Lyme Disease blood test and have a course of doxy, following a tick bite while on a country walk. No erythema migrans, but horrid flu-like symptoms (could be Mr Spice’s cold, but no cold has had my hair damp with sweat before!). Here’s a Lyme hotspot map for awareness! (I’m in zone 3).

Ugh. Mr Spice is going down with a cold and it’s less than 2 weeks until my first exam. Colds REALLY fuck me over so if I catch it (I will) this is going to really affect my revision. Exams or not, I would genuinely rather have noro than a cold ☹️

Pharmacokinetics can get in the bin omg.

Not long until Cartland’s FTP hearing resumes. Even Mr Spice is invested now!

Believing in conspiracy theory falls under 1 of 2 human categories, dumb or boring. You’re either dumb, you know you’re dumb and want to seem like you know something others don’t, or you’re boring and want people to think you have an eccentricity that ultimately doesn’t exist.

As a kid, I used to fight with my brother to be the person to press the button at pedestrian crossings. Now I’m like “ew no, I’m not touching that, you press it” 😂 #germs

Ever had the misfortune of encountering the human embodiment of herpes? Ugh.

In a lecture room with 100+ students and a tiny window that opens only a crack for health and safety reasons. It is SO hot in here, I can’t bear it. This 👌🏻 close to walking out.

Up early for a jog before work. 5 minutes in I will realise I fucking hate it and am not one of those exercise-unacceptably-early-in-the-morning people. 🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️

Shout out to Aviva Zero for being the first car insurance company I’ve been with that has NOT played stupid, time-wasting price inflation games. I may be able to get slightly cheaper elsewhere, but I’m going to let it autorenew on principle.

✨ Marked safe from being a cunt on the internet today. ✨

Contrary to public claims online, I have never EVER been in trouble with the police, and certainly never been told to stop doing anything by any police officer. I have done nothing wrong in the eyes of the law.

Work can get in the bin.

Woke up this morning, acknowledged that the Lord had risen with a nod to Mr Spice’s morning wood, gorged myself on chocolate all day. Also read aloud some terribly written erotic literature to Mr Spice while we howled with laughter. Happy Easter 😂

Lovely lazy Saturday in bed with Mr Spice. Cup of tea, shit TV, and pure laziness. First time I’ve stopped in weeks! Always doing something, always being productive.

Yep.