Sad seeing Bruce Springsteen become political. If he wrote Born In The USA today it would be all about how the USA *isn’t* so great 🙄

Elon is about to sue him for copyright infringment.

THE WEST WING’S OPENING THEME “This is an important show about important people.” THE WEST WING’S CLOSING THEME “This is the start of a 90s movie about a kid who moved to a new town where he will find an alien who will teach him how to play soccer.”

I’ll be honest, I never liked Catdog’s vibe.

ON BUILDING NAMED AFTER CONFEDERATE GENERAL "It's had that name for decades. We must respect history." ON THE BODY OF WATER KNOWN AS THE "GULF OF MEXICO" FOR HALF A MILLENNIUM. "You mean the Gulf of AMERICA."

When your rebranding is such a failure that a year+ later emergency notifications still have to waste 20 characters on “ (formerly Twitter) .”

Entering 2015 vs entering 2025

ME: And in the future, the biggest movie will be about a seductive vampire from Transylvania! BRAM STOKER: Dracula!? ME: Sure.

Americans realizing their insurance deductibles just reset.

It’s over. We’re officially done with these.

I knew it.

Just got the sinking feeling that something terrible is going to happen to Jimmy Carter sometime within the next few years.

Remember when people thought the Covid vaccine made them become magnetic and instead of bullying them mercilessly we let them choose the president?

Remember when people thought the Covid vaccine made them become magnetic and instead of bullying them mercilessly we let them choose the president?

Die Hard is not a “Christmas movie”. It’s Christmas *cinema*.

Just discovered I can 3D print the cylinder in a music box to make it play any song I want.

I have millennials ghosts. They say they’ll leave my house once interest rates go down

ME THEN: We’re all going to be wiped off the face of the planet soon. 😰 ME NOW: We’re all going to be wiped off the face of the planet soon. 🥰

ME THEN: We’re all going to be wiped off the face of the planet soon. 😰 ME NOW: We’re all going to be wiped off the face of the planet soon. 🥰

Waited until she was in a country with universal healthcare to get a hip replacement. Once again she beat the market.

Oh, you’re in the “Christmas Spirit?” Cool. So all October you were just faking being spooky for likes? …Got it.

If you don’t understand why people are infuriated with healthcare companies it’s because there’s a club that you’re not part of yet. Give it time!

When I saw this as a kid I was like “fun fact!” Now I’m like “damn, that shit must have been stressful.”

Weird, I have a specific memory of him not dying.

Weird, I have a specific memory of him not dying.

NO ONE: PETE HEGSETH’S MOM:

The reason McDonald’s removes the McRib is so Ronald can suck his own dick.

The reason McDonald’s removes the McRib is so Ronald can suck his own dick.

Just bummed Mad Magazine isn’t around for an “Icked” issue.

Ok, this one is for the 90s kids.

Alaskans. I hate to be the one to break it to you. But you’re in Canada. You are Canadian.

Shai-Hulud!

Blessing your timeline.

I truly hope this Christmas Elon Musk is visited by three ghosts and they all just point at his dick and laugh.

FYI: If you see your therapist under suggested friends they’re doing their homework and stalking your crazy ass.

BOOMER MEN: I say whatever's on my mind- *mumbles hurtful shit* BOOMER WOMEN: I say whatever's on my mind- *openly lusts after Ryan Seacrest*

When I open X/Twitter I'm ambushed by jarring racist propaganda and weird posts praising the sites owner all from paid accounts that sound suspiciously like bots. When I open BlueSky the first see is a meme about Drake paying a 25% tariff on beef. This is the better website.

There is nothing more pathetic than reposting yourself.

There is nothing more pathetic than reposting yourself.

Elon is a genius. He was able to cut 80% of Twitter's staff and the only downside is it's value, functionality, experience, revenue, and user-base collapsed. Now on to the U.S. Government!

FROM "I had to vote for fascism. Eggs are too expensive." TO "Sure Trump's plan will crash the economy in the short term, but it's nothing I can't handle!"

These are horcruxes.

Do we think Neil deGrasse Tyson is more upset about the idea of “Defying Gravity” or the concept of “Holding Space”?

I'm staying on Twitter during Elon's leadership simply as a tribute to the female lions who stayed on Pride Rock when Scar took over.

Imagine you’re diagnosed with a rare illness. There’s no cure. Your life is over. A machine artificially keeps you alive in hopes a cure is found. Then, one day, a woman you’ve never seen barges into the room dressed like this, shouts “THIS is a one woman show!” and unplugs you.

Learning the mandolin and discovered a new way to be annoying.

How it feels rebuilding followers on a new social media site.

“I simply had to choose fascism because of the price of eggs” -person paying 100 dollars a year for a blue checkmark.