walking past a car and these kids are screaming “6 7” at every person that goes by and not a single one of them acknowledged them so I did the hand gesture and what erupted from that car was pure joy and excitement that almost burst my ear drums.

lobbed me hair off

a guy walked up to me in the park and asked for my number I plainly said “no thank you, have a nice walk tho” he then stepped in front of me blocking me and proceeded to keep asking or rather begging and pleading, I said “no” 7 times politely before i had to set off my alarm on my keys.

i watched ready or not 2 and i fear it was a slay except for elijah wood not exploding, le domas bloodline or not it just would’ve hit to see lawyer go boom

turning off notifications for all social media, emails and group chats till i’m ready to look instead of being served it constantly has been life changing

Hi, Sam’s sister here, arrangements have been made, if you’re attending the service please bring flower seeds to scatter after the ceremony. Details of the service can be found below. Thank you.

I’ve had trades guys in my flat for the last two weeks, I’ve never felt more confident about feeling cursed by being attracted to men.

never sewn before in my life and somehow I managed to do a zipper WHICH has like 10 fucking steps. i need to learn to walk before I run, but anyways my bisexual audacity always wins I can literally do anything

can someone tell me why AS AN ADULT how and when I was meant to know PVC windows have a winter/summer setting… had a guy servicing my windows and he was like “oh you’ve not had them switched to winter, it’s in a summer setting” I was like “tf u on about” no wonder I spent so much on gas

reform voters today:

it’s Ramadan and he called me last night and said when this is over I’m gonna ram your dam

making someone watch interstellar who hasn’t seen interstellar could be considered a new hobby of mine

this vday gift has me on my knees my vintage dream machine

🤍

kinda weird how many rapists she sends flowers and personal invitations too if u ask me

JK Rowling's team invited Jeffery Epstein to the deathly hallows play and to a Harry potter dinner. www.justice.gov/epstein/file... www.justice.gov/epstein/file...

How shocking. The Sunday Herald, 21 May 2000:

bake him bread 🤝 get bred

smells like ai

a balsamic, crispy onion and scallion sourdough loaf, best loaf I’ve made so far my house smells amazing rn

don’t tap the glass the fish get worked up

going to the boy aquarium

if you’re ever bored, go onto tik tok live and rage bait misogynistic men and watch them die inside

it’s giving “there were three us in this marriage”

blep

i am cat

he thinks he’s a cat

showing this to my nail girl at my next appointment

somebody said she is “sigourney weaver maxing” and i couldn’t agree more

based on my perception alone there seem to be only two types of single men over 30 out there watches football and thinks running/ hiking/physical activities is a fun weekend activity EVERY weekend watches always sunny, hasn’t seen daylight Mon-Fri ,wears fingerless gloves, has a cat, warhammer

this absolutely sent me

we were going through photo albums at Christmas and found old pics of my mum at my age (died when i was young) i literally transitioned into my mother androgynous queen

this card game being coined as ‘the greatest card game ever’ is hilarious and devastating. i need to call my imaginary wife and tell her to wire me more money and also “babe we’ve lost the house”

he’s wearing his favourite football shirt and i think i killed him with “it’s so cute when you cosplay” him: “WHAT?” we are not fucking with men enough

merry christmas

just a lil pre christmas snack

preparing for Christmas as a leftist 🎄

me:

i simply can’t control my facial expressions when people so casually announce “I asked/used ChatGPT for this” anymore, especially in a professional setting it’s getting me in so much trouble and i love watching them try to justify being a fucking moron

why do men twitch so fucking much when they are sleeping, this man just leaped into the air like a fish out of water and gave me a heart attack

i made sourdough bread again

last month it was gardening and now bread ?

yes

twitter is so cooked people are mad at me over sourdough bread

a cheddar cheese and italian herb sourdough loaf, my daughter is excelling baked at 6am this morning and it’s already gone, don’t bake men good bread they will steal it and eat the entire fucking thing when you’re in a meeting or your back is turned.

lil hedgehog sleeping in my allotment 🥹 this feels like i just stumbled upon a rare pokémon, i haven’t seen one irl since i was a kid !

my sourdough accidentally over-proofed so instead of throwing it away i used it to make an Italian herb and cheese foccacia instead

Cordelia is almost a month old! my daughter is getting stronger, here’s a loaf i made with her. 7/10 lil dense, need to work on my bulk fermentation but definitely my best tasting sourdough loaf so far !

mornin

honestly what an honour getting to accept my award last week in such a beautiful building from the deacon commander of the incorporation of gardeners 🥹 need to get this shit framed