Headline: 700 agents leaving Minnesota today Real headline: 2,000 agents will still remain in Minnesota to terrorize us

Pro tip: I don’t give a shit what the Bible says. You can make an argument for or against anything from the Bible.

morning Minnesota updates: *a yoga chain studio refused to allow a No Ice sign and fired an employee about, then a couple customers confronted their corporate rep, and somehow the company’s solution was to suspend every single member who was present for “failing to de-escalate the situation.” 🤔🤔🤔

We Minnesotans want you to know we are proud and fierce… and we are also super fuckin’ horny!

Amazing news: I’ve been suspended from NextDoor

Did you think ICE was done? They just abducted someone from a PRESCHOOL. They also just pulled someone from the freeway, and left the car. And detained observers who were driving on public roads.

Unfortunately this is pretty close to home. If you are able to donate, it would be helpful to their family. 💚 www.gofundme.com/f/support-fo...

Poverty.

I’m between a callow and a quagmire

Haven’t I suffered enough??

Minnesota doesn’t take order from a groundhog. You get a MINIMUM of 6 more weeks of winter and you dont cry about it.

Monday morning. Lots of work to do! Let’s log on to the computer and fire up the nytimes comment section.

So that little boy liam was brought back to Minnesota this weekend. Excellent news! That entire school district was closed abruptly this morning due to a “credible threat”

🎶All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February🎶

Can someone make sure jeffries and schumer are aware that more money for training isn’t the solution, thanks!

You guys ever blast your buns?

Omfg you guys pupusas are god tier food

It is positive 7° and sunny and that’s a fucking heat wave compared to the last two weeks. We are going outside today!

Tremendous neighborhood sign: Incels Eunuchs Cowards

Omg there’s a prescription drug ad that said “I’m a grandma with wet AMD 😏”

Someone needs to disable my Next Door comment access, because I am about to call Tammi a dumb bitch

Get yourself a groupchat that discusses traffic calming measures 💅🏻

In the year of our lord 2026 we are having a conference call about sending faxes.

Look at this bitchin resistance loon. All proceeds got to MN Immigrant Rights Action Committee (MIRAC). anxiousandangry.com/products/min...

My tin foil hat theory for 2028 is hinges on the word “elected.” “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice”

The Toast mentioned in a LL!!!

His liberal friends made him attack a congresswoman. That’s a new one.

A Gen Z colleague did that thing where you pick a word that’s close enough to what you wanted but is not correct. She asked for “calcification” on something…

Taskmaster

I know I’m a broken record and I’m tired of it but I have to keep reminding myself that this is crazy. Even the most mild stories are absolutely bananas.

You guys they literally park outside of day care taking pictures. Every single day.

Not the Lutherans tho 😉

I think it’s very fun that Bovino is being humiliated. Grab joy where you can! But we will not rest until they are tried for their crimes. We are not done.

The people of Minnesota did that. Not Schumer and Jeffries, not Walz and Frey, not the standard-bearers of decorum. The People.

Bye bitch!

The eternal debate on the right: is the left full of pussy soy boys or antifa super soldiers

And you only have evidence of this because of observers. They hate observers so much because now everyone can see their brutality.

I still find is baffling that anyone in America would be called a czar of something. I don’t realize just how many we’ve had over the years! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...

Random convo at work, talking about his cabin. Boss: I got a friend with an excavator and- Me: MAN I WISH I HAD A FRIEND WITH AN EXCAVATOR. Boss: waht? Me: Damn that would be cool.

how insane are Minnesotans? I saw a guy while driving to work at 8 am, temperature of -10° f, windchill of -25°f, EATING ICE CREAM OUT OF THE TUB while driving

The day after they murderEd a resident: ”if you call us the gestapo, there will be consequences.” Like, sorry but that’s only something the gestapo would say.

Time to get in my jammies

A box of hand warmers in professional grade logistics.

My mommy told me she loves me and she’s proud of me.

Not now, weekly screen time alert! Got to hell!

It’s still quite chilly in MN. Got frost on the inside of our front door. 🥶 but we are going to get above zero today!

I didn’t go to the neighborhood vigil last night because bedtime was a bit of a shit show. I regret that. There were vigils on damn near every block. I jsut saw a video of one near me singing “this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine” and now I’m crying.

I hate it here so I will go to Lunar valleys in my mind When they found a better planet Only the gentle survived I dreamed about it in the dark The night I felt like I might die No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears I'm there most of the year Cause I hate it here I hate it here

We got Ecuadorian food tonight! Excited to try.