Me: I’m going to teach you about documentation. Documentation helps you survive audits. Failing an audit means you can lose your career and maybe go to jail. Guy: I don’t want to learn this. Colleagues: *physically recoil*

There are entire species of birds house with the remains of #GarbageMare ‘s winter coat

“We are pleased to inform you…” I’M GONNA GO TO SIMMONS!!! #PhD

Dean: Do you know anything about knowledge management? I'm having this problem... My brain:

Mi iphone gas gonne back to insisting i ma italian, and its making it veri difficili ti type in english that fucking duolingo owl never warned me

On-brand for my life: 3/7 My truck breaks down dramatically; Gas $2.50/gal 3/9 Diagnosis: cooked. Get a new car. 3/15 Buy a Toyota Camry Hybrid for less than KBB 3/21 Have hybrid delivered; Gas $4.25/gal 3/31 Prices rise on same Camry model by $10K

The SJC Library offers a range of solutions for your most urgent problems.

*pokes PhD acceptance process with a stick* C’moooooonnnnnnn…

I love relieving faculty stress via instructional design!

New from me on ACRLog, Supporting Library Workers Who Have Lost Their Jobs. If you don't know what to say or do when your coworker or colleague gets laid off or fired, here's a list of action items. 📚 acrlog.org/2026/03/21/s...

Watching Swing Kids. I missed it in 1993 - it was not safe where I lived to be overtly anti-Nazi and I got enough shit as it was. But today, sadly, this movie is required viewing. To see how easily a person can be persuaded to join fascism from self-interest and entitlement.

English-to-LinkedIn translator I’ve been putting in Geto Boys and Weird Al lyrics Sorry about your productivity translate.kagi.com?from=en&to=l...

“Hi, I’m reaching out from [library system] and we’re looking for a director, and you-“ Oh yeah, I remember you. I applied four years ago. You interviewed me. A lot. Then you ghosted me. Even if I was looking? First impressions matter.

I know we’re in New Mexico but how do we keep running out of green chile and salsa? I buy it in BULK

How long have my iPhone settings been in Italian?! At least the autocorrect has finally calmed down.

Normalize waiting for people to get out of the elevator before you try to barge in

Why is the McDonald’s CEO doing weird lizardman videos about how to properly eat McDonald’s. I don’t think it’s intentionally weird, btw. I think he really does put ice cream on his filet o fish, and that he spits out the chicken sandwich, because he is unaware of how humans eat.

I love this for them

Delicious words to describe disgusting things: Ootheca I would totally buy a bag of Haribo gummy oothecae

I will destroy her

Red splattered the front of her white wedding gown. Splinters of flesh flecked the “Mr. & Mrs.” wine glasses. Some of the guests turned away, repulsed; others looked on in horror at the carnage unfolding at the head table. BBQ ribs had been a poor choice for the reception buffet. #OpeningLines

If I were a Victorian upper-class woman, I could acquire some fainting disease and not have to answer emails

Finding housing in this economy can be really tough. I’m just happy that somebody who has been rather publicly housing-insecure will likely be finding permanent lodging for the rest of his life. Congrats, Prince Andrew.

The audacity of a scammer getting angry because I called him back too many times. Dude, you called me 20 times yesterday and filled up my voicemail box. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. If he calls me again, I’m signing him up for payday loan contacts. Those people are relentless.

Hi, I’m in a cult

Man if I ever make the Olympics, my Wikipedia page is gonna be WEIRD

Our culture has NOT degraded. If 19th-century miners had Reddit accounts, they'd be posting memes about veiny shafts and doing Harlem Shake videos that incidentally are a very bad idea around dynamite, not that it would have stopped them. The past was NOT more refined than "Jorkin Dapeanuts."

I love Big R on Valentine’s Day. A long line of men buying tools for their wives/girlfriends, guys comparing notes, my husband with the manure dump cart he knows I’ve wanted for two years. This is men absolutely NAILING it.

Liver, kind of, though I like pâté. Black licorice… I’m finally acquiring the taste but I’m not yet up to allsorts. I love grapefruit and would peel and eat it like an orange, but it interacts with a ton of stuff. Cauliflower is proof that Satan exists and he is BORING.

That moment in every educator conference where we start comparing our ADHD meds

The first day of Spring is when Kris Bryant gets put in the injured list.

I usually let #GarbageMare collect whatever strays she wants but I DRAW THE LINE AT THE BULL FFS

I met someone today and he said “Oh I’m friends with #GarbageMare.” This has happened dozens of times in two different states. “I’m friends with your horse, nice to meet you” like wtf how is she doing this, does she have a TikTok?

Gonna try watching platform migration tutorials like it’s the Super Bowl I’m rooting for gradual sunsets of legacy systems

I know in America we like to reinvent traditions from overseas, but it would be a lot more entertaining if they were gonna drag a badger outta there and try to make it predict the weather.

In the past year, librarians have had death threats, defunding, political firings, and 27 new James Patterson books. Unleashing your sassmouth on me because you waited until the very last minute to do your assignment isn’t super effective.

📚 Hear me out: James Patterson is the Thomas Edison of industrial authorship. Edison invented stuff, mostly early on - but the inventions that he’s really known for were the collaborative efforts of a team of inventors under his direction.

Yeah but I’m still gonna be FURIOUS about Catherine O’Hara OK

“I hate to ask but my program needs a data analysis and I know nobody likes data crunching but maybe you cou-“ Me:

📚 Free webinar! ALA Reference Roundup: February 11, 2026 at 3:00 PM Eastern Librarians Jennifer Goodland and Karina Todechine will speak on how the pandemic impacted rural and tribal communities, and revealed critical service shortages with those who cannot access Internet.

For real though ICE going into Albuquerque feels like the Super Bowl. A legendary matchup between two violent, lawless paramilitaries with unlimited funding and obscenely wealthy owners who don’t give a shit if the guys on the field get their heads caved in.

I use this analogy all of the time, but it's like getting 10 installments deep into a Friday the 13th marathon and saying "I didn't realize Jason was so violent."

A GUIDE TO HELP ICE AS THEY MOVE INTO ALBUQUERQUE 1. I know a lot of Minnesota Lutherans showed up to your hotel rooms and robbed you of your sleep. Book your hotel in Albuquerque’s quiet International District. Plenty of safe parking for your vehicles. Be sure to mark them as ICE.

Apropos of nothing, remembering the old Chinese author Lu Xun: “Lies written in ink cannot disguise facts written in blood.” ― Lu Xun

When we leave work for the weekend, we now wish each other safety against ICE. And then we laugh because there’s no such thing when you’re Native.

Writing classic dystopian horror in the style of ChatGPT is *sending* me.

I am glad that I got to see it before it was removed for being "un-American." It was my favorite part of the Liberty Bell part of the complex.

If you're looking for a good fiction book for data nerds, Calvin Trillin's "Tepper Isn't Going Out" got me interested in data way back in 2001. I was working for an @elsevierconnect.bsky.social data center, so a novel where the hero is very concerned with trade mag lists was perfect!

For a thread that includes the phrase “murder bones,” this is lovely and sweet.

Two hours early and it’s packed, and there’s even an overflow bar that is also packed… HOO HOO HOO HOOSIERS!!!!!!!