Comfort food is a little less comforting when you're also the one who has to cook it and clean up the kitchen afterwards

Oop, All Screams! We can have a noisy nightmare, as a treat

Lunch with dad tomorrow... Thai Tree, or Great Lost Bear? Orrrrr??

Last night I described the baking aisle in Reny's as being "Bob's Red Mill-ed"

Spent three hours after work trying to talk myself into figuring out a real meal and getting done up/ready for the party, but the best I could manage was a bunch of snacks and a compulsion to clean my house late into the night (in sweats, obviously) 🙃🙃

Sleep for dinner?? Not because I'm poor, but because I'm exhausted

I had a dream about drowning in caramel. Also, I've always wanted to see the La Brea Tar Pits for some weird reason.

About to make a mistake (going to Trader Joe's hungry)

Just watched the American Masters episode on Marlee Matlin. I'm not deaf and I don't know any ASL, but I have some sensory processing issues so God bless closed captioning forever. Also apparently fuck William Hurt.

Cleaned my kitchen, accepted a job offer, treated myself to brunch and a latte, ran an errand, steam cleaned the couch. You know what that means, friends: it's a Hell Yeah Wednesday!

Does the playlist in bar really fuck so hard, or am I losing my mind??

Oh, it's gonna be a cabin fever week isn't it?

Uh oh, I had too nice of a day today so my bathroom window just broke itself in order to keep me on my toes

Snow day for Courtney!

Marissa Nadler ticket vs Couch: the fight of the century

Bearnaise mountain dog

Has there ever been a piece of contemporary public art, that the public did not automatically hate?

Watch TV on the couch and struggle to stay awake, or go to bed and struggle to fall asleep??

I can definitely think of better ways to get 6" on a Friday night than this forecast

D-U-FRI-day on the #8 bus today. Grey hair and frozen dinners abound.

baby you’re already gazing at your phone trying to will it into providing a text back i think the cornball horse left the barn some time ago

Whoa, did you know it takes the exact length of @gumparker.bsky.social 's The Brakes to make a batch of pico de gallo? Neat!

It's mostly spinch but the toasted breadcrumbs are doing some heavy lifting too

I am 36 and a half years old and I'm making Annie's for dinner I'm adding spinach and meatballs, and gonna have a glass of wine, but I'm still making macaroni for dinner

Bad news guys: you are ALL my Valentines. I love every last one of you and you have to love me back. 😘😘

Finally, he is my friend!

Who needs a date for Friday the 13th??

It should be illegal for me to have to go to work before 11AM.

Really not digging the new, meteorological features of this human body. Anyways, we're getting a few inches of snow tonight.

No work, social obligations or pressing errands today. Did my only chores already, I have a plan for dinner tonight. I guess I'm just gonna do absolutely fuck all this afternoon and enjoy it.

I was just about to walk out the door to see about Hot Dave and a slice, but of course the place is closed on Mondays Am I really supposed to make my own supper right now??

Discussing family health with a coworker, they mention having an autistic sibling That same coworker later on: "I really hate wearing socks"

Nobody actually say what's going on with the thing, please. I'm having so much more fun reading everyone's oblique/sarcastic skeets than actually knowing.

We met a dog named Jim at work today. Jim the Dog is a very friendly and soft poodle mix. Getting to hang out with customers' puppies is a decided improvement over food/beverage (I'm still going back to food/beverage tho).

Thank you to Kate for having a birthday, and to The Apohadion for existing, and to friends for singing and eating cake ❤️❤️

I may have gone a little bit overboard turning half the cake into a trifle...

Baking a cake!

Everything is so fucking stupid/awful I don't even feel like posting hot selfies or dumb jokes or silly little updates about my day. Like, I want to do that stuff, but what's the point? Clean your house, try and take care of your friends, read your books, go to work. But it's horrors out there.

It's Monday, post your brekkie!

Is Courtney gonna make it to the concert she has a ticket to tonight? Dunno, but it's feeling more than a little doubtful right now

Overhead in Portland ME: "Aw c'mon honey, yer tougher'n a boiled owl"

This coworker happens to be Southern, and I met her parents when they visited at Christmastime. Apparently her dad remembers me as "the one with the hitch in her giddy up." Should you go around saying that? No! Do I still think it's hilarious? Yes - obviously.

Everything in my apartment is warm to the touch. I brushed my teeth this morning with hot toothpaste. HOT. TOOTHPASTE. Make it stop.

Jesus - what a hamfisted, 2007 pilot this is

men try to work out obsessively or save up for fancy cars but it’s not about that fellas. be an acerbic, principled smartass with at least one self destructive habit. THAT is what women want

Dreamt that everyone at the orgy was trying to fuck me (naturally) but I could only notice the person who was clearly there to rob the house while everyone else was busy.

🧛‍♀️🧛‍♀️

Lisa told me I oughta do wall-sits, which means I'm gonna die

Feeling some kinda ways about not knowing what to do with myself

Last x-rays today = 100% healed!! Now I just gotta build my quad strength back up and also not fall over again