Me: "oh, chuck norris is dead? That's sorta sad" *finds out what Norris actually did with his life when not making goofy movies* "Chuck Norris is dead. That's sorta good"

my style icons? Chrisjen Avasarala in the Expanse well, either that or the drunk punk outside your local bar

brains being a bit wibbly, so time to watch the greatest film ever made The VelociPastor www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jppw...

imagine Blair saying something like Trumps "vision" was the only hope for Northern Ireland (a peace process Blair worked on), instead of sitting down, talking to people, and finding a solution that didn't involve genocide

“Why do we need to add so much to our children’s bodies?” she asked. then a few paragraphs later: "While it can’t reverse the damage, Kristina and Luis are hopeful that plasma exchange treatment could help their son’s condition by subduing the inflammation in the brain." idiots

Hopped in a taxi and the dude has absolutely no music/radio/chat going on Entire ride just rawdogging the sound if him (heavy) breathing Honestly, game recognise game

Generational cupboards is it now? Whit whoo, hark at the landed gentry here, wha?

my fave bit is when the news programme is talking about the bugs being an existential threat to humanity, and paints them as some expansionist monster... then it shows the small Quarantine Zone at the FAR end of the galaxy from earth

When your name is all over the Epstein files, but you don’t want your reputation tarnished by being associated with Glinner

Roses are red Violets are blue Wololo Roses are blue

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

GWB almost choked to death on a pretzel Jimmy Carter got attacked by a swimming rabbit what would be the funniest way for Trump to bite it?

NEWS: Ford worker who heckled Trump kept his job, got 'no discipline' on his record, UAW says. www.detroitnews.com/story/busine...

Yes, most of the people on the Epstein List will suffer virtually no repercussions Do people not remember the Panama Papers? They literally blew up one of the journalists investigating it and just never talked about it again

every now and again I remember that Glinner lost his Steam account in his divorce and it makes me laugh a little

Welp, time to repost this I guess

At some point somebody's gonna gun down an ICE agent and they're probably gonna be justified

Honestly, I'm shocked nobody's given ICE a fake tip and gunned some of them down in an alley already, they're the most hated people in the US right now

Unfun fact: At the start of the Troubles in Northern Ireland, the nationalist community (mostly catholic) were overjoyed when the British army arrived as they thought they would protect them from unionist mobs We all know how that worked out. Suddenly British guns appeared in unionist mobs' hands

Fuck sake. Started back at work after 2 weeks off and the boss replaced the sound system out the front.... it sounds like actual tin-baked dogshit now

ICE agents fled from the crowd and left behind their CONOPS battle plan for Minneapolis, including agent's names, hotel rooms, phone numbers, boxes of license plates, and tac radio frequencies.

After ICE agents shot people in Minneapolis tonight, a crowd faced them down and eventually chased them away, despite federal mercenaries and police shooting a tremendous amount of tear gas. ICE agents abandoned vehicles in the area, containing IDs, paperwork, license plates, and operational plans.

dentist, to her assistant: "can you find a different burr? i can use this one, but a smaller one would be better" me: "would you say it's... burr-ly adequate?"

every time i watch Kong: Skull Island the initial helicopter scene blows my goddamn mind such a perfect piece of cinema

Remember a few years ago when a bunch of far right weirdos attempted to overthrow the German government? Or when Italian fascists were caught trying to sell an air to air missile from the Eurofighter, then the cops discovered a cache of guns stolen from the Austrian army?

"Can AI do your job?" Well I'm fuckin shit at my job, so it's probably not good enough yet

Oh, you like cloning? That makes two of us

Wordle 1,655 2/6 Fuck right off ⬛🟩⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

"You smell like ass and crackers"

Not now, haunted Victorian shoes

If trump could die in, like, very early January that would be great for me I could have a big party, have some extra cash for a lot of drinks, AND the bars would be empty of assholes because they spent all their money before Christmas and haven't gotten their next paycheck yet

@kendrama94.bsky.social you have evaded my assassins for another year Congratulations! Now if you'll excuse me I have to fire some ninjas

This is exactly why I'm so against government mandated online IDs: it doesn't stop people doing illegal things, but allows hackers to blackmail people doing perfectly legal but private things There's nothing wrong with enjoying porn, but it is a private thing people usually don't wish to share

Half the US news cycle these days consists purely of "The President said/did something indefensible.... but we're gonna try yo defend it real quick"

Listening to Friends In Real Life and I find it amusing that in the Ramshackle Glory days, Pats acoustic "die the nightmare" album felt darker, but the acoustic versions of FIRL songs sound happier

Crying, cradling two loaves at my girlfriends house: "I don't understand! What do you mean there's no A in 'bread', it says it right there on the packaging! What the fuck am I here for???"

I introduced my friend to The Expanse a while ago and it became one of his favourite shows Except for every time someone pulled out one of those data pads They offer no privacy, make it harder to locate your device, and he would not let me suspend disbelief on that one single issue

Trying to motivate myself to leave relative warmth to be productive youtu.be/0cn3LL2FWV0?...

It's so crazy to me that Shinzo Abe's assassination was the most effective political killing of the 21st century and basically achieved every change the shooter wanted

"Violence has no place in America.... we do it all overseas!"

maaan, i dont know what has changed in my diet over the last week or so, but holy fuck i have gas that could knock out a fucking bull rhino

"Pluribus in the age of Generative AI" In this essay focusing on the context-less amalgamation of experience we will analyse the human existence via personal history and adaptation- [Thread locked after 5,691,023 vitriolic comments]

feeling charitable today, so giving The Watch (2021) a shot 20 minutes in and I'm .... not sold on it

American pundits REALLY need to get over their Cold War obsession Does Putin suck shit? Of course But talking about "Soviet influence" and "KGB agents" in context of modern Russian policy is just fucking dumb; that stopped being a thing decades ago

Enoch Burke hiding in some back yard bunker like a bargain bin Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, except he already doesn't understand how the world works and is actually trying to make it actively worse once he emerges