D&D but every instance of "ball" or "ball-shaped" means a rugby ball shape

the astral plane is the ultimate liminal space. you know what else is the ultimate liminal space? that's right, gith come from the backrooms

Real housewives of the multiverse

Dammit, my undead minions are too busy making out to stop the hero. They've formed a polyghoul

Turn Undead's verbal component is "Shitty Bullshit Skeletons", a very mean cover of the classic Halloween song

maybe it's the heat exhaustion but I decided to create a helpful guide

My personal headcanon is that there's a Power Word for every possible state a person can be in. Sure, wizards focus on the combat useful ones like "Power Word Kill", but there's also "Power Word Mascot Costume", "Power Word Gay", "Power Word Having A Nice Cup Of Tea", "Power Word Bankrupt", etc.

Cleric fucking a warforged, call that Deus Sex Machina

Don't tell the players the rules. They have to guess. The game can't start until they reverse-engineer the whole system through sheer luck.

Oh no! All RPGs are delayed because the ontologically evil minions that it's morally uncontroversial to kill have unionised and gone on strike. If you don't want your games to have to deal with the ethical implications of violence, you'd better be prepared to give them a 10% raise and vacation days.

Evil cult are planning a summoning ritual to call forth their dark god to the realm. If the PCs fail to stop them, it turns out it doesn't do anything because the dark god doesn't exist. It was founded mostly as a tax evasion scheme.

Think a nice thing about your GM. It's quick, it's easy and it's free!

Warlock who actually sold their soul to Asmodeus to resolve their game group's scheduling issues, and the whole eldritch blast stuff was more a helpful side effect

Hunter support team who go around making houses Haunted so the Hunters have something to do.

If a player is unable to attend a session, don't worry! Ensure the narrative isn't disrupted by declaring their PC has left to "go on a pussy destroying rampage" and will return when they're finished.

New egg-based alignment chart Eggs benedict Eggs in purgatory Devilled eggs

Unearthing the ancient arcane lore of the primordial wizards who strode the world at the dawn of time unlocks a new branch of magic that doesn't do a single goddamn thing.

Make critical successes weirdly abstract. On a natural 20 you don't know any better practically, but what you did was perfectly aligned with the ontological force of goodness, for what that's worth.

"vampire media should draw from bat behaviour more" VtM character who regularly performs oral sex in exchange for food

Pathfinder but you can't leave established routes. It isn't called Pathloser, is it?

Put all your skill points into Performance: Halfling

Foraging rules apply in dungeons too, don't kill more than half of the wandering monsters or the ecosystem will collapse

If I were a vampire, I would run a full campaign of every rpg. All of them. The big ones, the small ones, the infamously terrible ones, the obscure ones like twenty people have ever heard of. I will find them all, and we will have a full 30 session campaign of every single goddamn one.

Why the Raven Queen? Ravens are notably alive. Make the Goddess of Death really fit the job description by making her the Dodo Queen.

"Sadly, the enemy has far more men then us." "Don't worry" Pulls out +3 hammer of forcefemming "I'm on it."

RPG Ideas Based on My Typos Guna - the tuna that is also a gun Campires - vampires but somehow campier I guess? Univorns - hehe

REFUSE to give your game themes. You have a sword and THAT'S IT! NOTHING ELSE! Do NOT try and find a moral in this! You WILL be removed from the game group!!

Werewolf: The Multilevel Marketing Scheme

Speedrun your campaign by cramming every threat, clue, enemy and NPC into the first room the PCs enter.

Rather then defeating the dragon in battle, you must defeat them in a philosophical debate regarding your moral right to slay dragons.

Worldbuilding is hard. Ease the load by not doing it. You are fighting perfectly spherical orcs in a vacuum. Who wins? You have 45 minutes, motivation is ignored for the sake of the exercise.

Every time you get a Nat 1, something bad happens to Mike Donati. He's just some guy somewhere. You don't know him, and he doesn't know why he gets these random bursts of bad luck. Sad but true.

Every time you use a healing potion, make a d100 roll. On a 1, you develop an allergy to healing potions and die.

Healing magic harms undead, but so does non-magical healing. Give a ghoul the kiss of life and you'll vaporise it on the spot

When players give you character ideas, only accept them if their backstory includes the word "red". Don't tell the players, it'll be a fun puzzle.

Uses my illusion powers to punch you in the face, call that Gaslamping.

Transmute character to the weird fandom version of that character (level 9 spell, banned by all reputable wizard academies)

bard who got famous in his teens and now only does weird songs called robert pattersong

Just don't have any world-building. Where are we starting in this game? How should I know? I'm not a scientist.

The "This Is Not A Place Of Honour" plaque but it's over a big vault of gold and vital information because the Ancient Fallen Civilization were total fucking dicks.

Vampires aren't blood starved, they're touch starved. They're just biting you because they don't have anyone to hug :(

Orcs aren't chaotic evil, it's just that when they see humans they're overwhelmed with cuteness aggression

If you critically fail at disbelieving an illusion, it stops being an illusion. That's real now.

Banish everything. Literally everything. Away it fucking goes.

No R, no P, only G

RPG Life Hack When your GM describes a scene, you can actually picture anything you like. It doesn't have to match the description. It doesn't even have to have anything to do with the game. The GM can't tell and can't stop you even if they could.

"While there's nothing technically wrong with your necromancy school application, I really must remind you that the spell is called 'Rapid Aging' and not 'Transmute MILF To GILF'"

Needlessly confusing spells by school Abjuration: When you suffer wounds, history alters so that you actually suffered that wound 10 years ago, changing your past but making it so it's fully healed now.

Vampire the Masquerade but the Nosferatu are the fancy, upper class sophisticates and the Toreador are the ones eating rats in sewers. Don't assume things based on appearance, guys.

Post-Partum Lycanthropy