brings me no pleasure to announce that AI has reached screwed up records

congratulations to sleaford mods on the announcement of their new album “Don’t Ask Me To Pick A Side”, which will benefit labour friends of israel

pretty good weekend

yeah man i love going to unfold

him walking would be the funniest thing humanly possible right now

sorry man we did the “punk is being nice to people” thing for 5-6 years and it made everyone super annoying so we’re going back to being a hater 24/7

lol

telling everyone i’m creating a complex multichannel sound art performance work but the title is “SWAG II”

spent the weekend listening to coil and i think one of the best things about them is how people are like “ah yes arcane wielders of the dark english magi” and 35% of their recorded output is like funky ibiza house

i would pay upwards of £100 for secret camera footage of whatever room vince mcmahon was in when he heard he has been usurped as the biggest carny on earth

me and yves both having a conversation about someone in publishing who we believe is a parasite on our main interest, before realising we are both describing toby mott to each other

quite funny that kier starmer has responded to a lukewarm scandal by replacing the person with The Walking Bribery Timebomb

BREAKING: Kier Starmer has unfurled a large flag of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant live on BBC News. Asked for comment, he said “I am a supporter of flags”.

never experienced a moment of clarity with alcohol but i recently had to explain what i used to use twitter for to someone i’m dating who never used it, real cold plunge stuff

the universe looked at me as a beautiful ethereal angel and decided to smite me with 2 - 3 permanent medications that make me sweat like i’m powerlifting every day

made my friend from barcelona who started a conversation up about skepta watch the “all over the house” video yesterday, more grotesque than i remember it being

honestly a thing no one tells you about being transgender is how much free drugs you receive

i’m as guilty as anyone of ripping on heterosexual women putting themselves through dire social situations for sex, but in the spirit of transparency i’d just like to say i’m currently surrounded by australian content creators in the guest area of reading festival

most hungover i have been all year because a beautiful woman with an essex accent hit on me with speed garage at 5am sunday

saw someone claim the "starmer says he will arrest sally rooney" stuff was "the most english news story possible". While I appreciate the point they're making, I think this one still holds the title:

working a 3-day queer dance music festival and i have heard meet her at the love parade 5 - 6 times a day

Born To ADHD GP Is A Fuck 不本意な撤退 Withdrawing Involuntarily I Am Going To Be Sleepy 385,284,972,702 Unreleased Prescriptions

Political prisoner Aleks Herbich — one of the ‘Filton 24’ accused of sabotaging an Israeli arms factory — describes the vile conditions the prisoners suffer in, and how belonging to such a mass movement has made her feel freer than ever. tribunemag.co.uk/2025/08/an-a...

getting your post read out loud by a lawyer, directly to the person you made fun of, and entered into public record is the poster's dream

beginning to understand why bands have a manager. i mean, they are parasites leeching on the blood of an artform expressing the true scope of human emotion like no other and not a single one i’ve met has any taste at all, but sending emails is sometimes inconvenient too

the year is 2035. all internet is banned except uk lawyers for israel, the guardian opinion page and foxtons. england now has a 100% UTI rate as no one can piss anywhere without 4 forms of legal ID. sir kier rodney starmer is undergoing his 7th year of vocal coaching live on LBC to combat migration.

show’s makeup artist really exacted some severe solidarity work here am i right ladies

pleased to announce i am a positive influence on the woman i’m dating’s employment

roomba accidentally saw outside

i’ve seen amyl nitrate branding you wouldn’t believe

[action bronson voice] i’m at the experimental musical festival smoking medical grade on my husband’s diagnosis

INSPIRING: every time you see a met police officer there is a good chance his bollocks are being disintegrated in real time

guy in the falafel shop called me “sir” and i just ignored him because i’d been around like 45 trans women all day, great bit imo

nick cave constantly tanking all his fanbase’s goodwill is vindication for everyone who has been told the birthday party was the most evil music on earth only to discover they sound like someone from a regional goth club singing the big bopper

“banning VPNs” is going to be this government’s “banning end to end encryption” isn’t it

me: they will never remaster those disintegrated loops william basinski:

me looking at the four circuit gays who came to the trans rave yesterday

amazing post because at no point is he able to list the mythical “good things”

GOAT tweeter

this is what people posting “ozzy was a zionist” takes look like to me

ARE YOU HIGH!? ARE YOU HIGH!?!?!?!?!?!?!? SO AM I www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EJi...

left my issey miyake coat at a friend’s house a while ago and said i’d collect it and today have discovered her housemates donated it to charity, incidentally i think murder should be legal for 24 hours like the purge

clipse uk tour is going to have me do something extremely reckless to my wallet in the hopes of hearing the ride around shining beat at stadium volume

congratulations to grimes on her successful comeback!

get my next student loan in september who wants to take a punt on getting one of them to pledge allegiance to ISIL

playing the same fest as aya and slikback in august, it’s pinger time baby

bro twitter had jokes at least

currently conducting a secret operation to infiltrate the UK’s most powerful TERF caliphate (going to hampstead heath)

james hetfield te ofrece el porro. ¿aceptas?