Swamp chronicles: a freakishly large genetically modified Resident Evil ass roach somehow got in the SHOWER with ME last week. I can’t even begin to describe what happened afterwards. I haven’t mentioned it bc I am traumatized LMAO.

Kind of obsessed with what I learned yesterday about TXA when researching skincare, only to see it being used again for something else in The Pitt. I love science.

I know I shouldn’t, but I’m just a bad bitch that loves her cured meats

I’m no stranger to nosebleeds, but I am pretty sure I had the worst one of my life just now 💀 looking like a straight up murder scene. I feel bad bc I scared the cats lmao

Going from the desert back to the swamp so abruptly whooped my ass y’all 💀 I had a pretty terrible nosebleed this morning, and now I sound like RFK Jr lmao

One thing I truly hate about being short is I gotta fight for my life to receive respect, space, and consideration in *most* crowds. It’s very overwhelming, and then I end up looking “rude” 😭

Imma keep it real, the Charlotte airport is absolutely disgusting.

Well everybody, today is my birthday… I don’t usually share bc I get nervous about the attention lmao

This man on the strip tried rage baiting me calling me ugly. Mf you look like the Hills Have Eyes lmaooo

I remember when my grandma would be like “wow how’d you hear that?” Like ma’am you wrote the book of being incredibly nosy 💀

There is a family here completely barefoot in the casino. My god. And yes, they are.

These bills adding up. It’s looking like a feet pic summer!!!

Y’all ever wonder what it feels like to lay an egg?

Trying to hit the Zara Larsson

Was just thinking about when George Bush puked on the Japanese Prime Minister

Stepped in my cat’s barf barefoot

Empath spray? Anything but therapy, huh? 💀

I love biting the nipples off of the Little Bites muffins

I need to get my confidence back already

Can’t say “I have to poop” at the office, so I’ve started saying “I’m crowning”

Stan culture has rotted brains, my god

I rarely order Door Dash, because when I do, my dasher always tries to get aggressive or fight. This town is cursed. I just wanted my food man.

Viewers noticed Ryan Coogler appears to have a guitar and treble clef braided in his hair at the #Oscars

Physical media

You know things are dire when I start eating that Lays ranch dip. It’s so bad for you, but perfect when you need to feel something

That 7pm “nap” was a mistake 😭

It doesn’t matter if I have 1 or 4, White Claw does not sit well with me anymore. Horrible headaches.

The Alien Ant Farm cover of Smooth Criminal has been in my head all day. 2 seconds of silence and it starts… HELP!!!!!!!!

Really can’t stand Seth McFarlane. If you’re seeing this… sir, go fuck yourself

Tofu when she smells Wendy’s

Not standing for Grace Ashcroft hate. She’s trying her best 🤬

OH OH OH OZEMPIC 🎵👀

All of us at my future baby shower when I get everybody to perform a song and dance number

I got @clept.bsky.social addicted to Industry. In my ear all the time like “you got any more of them episodes?” 🤪

Oh—

Bc I have a backbone and do not appreciate abusive and scummy business practices, I am reduced to being part of a clique. I am also living rent free in this man’s head yet again. So be it girl 💀

Waiting for @clept.bsky.social to get home to play RE9. Don’t say I didn’t do anything for ya kid.

March is going to be a great month. It is my birthday month, so I’m afraid there is no other option.

Truly don’t really give af what anybody wears to the airport… just don’t put your feet on me and we’re good 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not kidding when I say there was a man sitting at the bar with his entire ass out. Not just the crack. Everything. So bold.

I guess I opened the cat food too quickly and it exploded and touched my lips

I just chugged a cider and let out a loud burp. I feel like such a bro today.

I’ve converted to Bad Bunnyism

Never thought I’d see John Snow bottom, but here we are…

I get posting a funny clip, but we absolutely do not need to see an entire episode of television through your instagram story 💀

I could hear my laugh through my door bell camera. Yeah I’m killing myself LMAO

Roses are blue… violets are red

The ending of “Dinosaurs” will haunt me for the rest of my life 😭

Something new going on with me. When I blow my nose, I can feel air blowing out my left eye. Lovely.

Lowkey mad that I’ve never done a keg stand 😒