y0 Dawg I herd you leik cocaine, so I got you some charlie for ur Charlie

👀

The real Charlie Kirk assassin was the friends we made along the way

I just saw him, he looked so healthy –JD Vance

Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Barbara Sampson has ruled Charlie Kirk's death a suicide.

Time flies, but what a lot of people fail to realize, is time swims as well. Time is also self-aware. There is no escape.

Turkeylurk when the walls fell

GenX can chill because being old and wise is skibidi now. no cap

As the assistant treasurer of the National Nintendo Switch Party, I believe 10 year olds should have the right to vote

guys

"Bite the pillow I'm going in dry" - Albert Einstein

...and then I says to the rabbit, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"...

Do people who have trouble sleeping not know about overeating?

Cave walls were the first facebook. "THIS IS WAT ME EAT" *crude fingerpainting of antelope* via iThumb

I've got something unexpected for your bagging area right here

in the future, when robots rule the world, they will have an exclusive robot club called "robots.txt"

There Will Come Soft Brains - Zombie Ray Bradbury

My body is a temple "But you just ate a sativa gummybear" that was a deacon

you know, if you were truly cool with spiders, you'd cover yourself in spiders before going for a walk in the woods

The worst thing about the tide of revolutionary attitudes permeating western culture will be the ensuing battle over who gets to keep the best heads.

HI I ORDERED 3 LARGE COKES BUT I GOT 2 LARGE AND A MEDIUM

"Hey kazzooist, drop me a beat"

rip Michael Madsen :( you taught me how to dance

realestate agents on Halloween should paint their faces up like their defaced bench ads

seriously I froze because thought I just encountered a snake

a lady just asked for my autograph, first time for everything

Breaking: catpix are the new magic the gathering

I would like to thank you for not making fun of my genitalia -Montgomery Burns

has anyone else's life been horrifically disrupted by their grocery store no longer selling the large bags of European weiners?

Chemistry friends: Have you ever employed DMSO to quickly marinate porkchops?

Realdoll® has been making huge advances since the last time I explored their catalogue

Targeting GenX with my bathwater marketing campaign

"Good evening gentlemen, my name is Edward, I will be your waiter for this evening. I will start you off with some water, would you prefer sparkling or hose?"

I bet jar jar Binks would have been less controversial if he was doing a German accent

This is one of them sleepers we was warned about

Whatever became of these guys? photo ca. 2014

A masterpiece of modern engineering with @bugbaby.bsky.social

does the bluesky ai censor nudity in private messages? Can't send hog, please advise.

omg I thought somebody took my picture but it was just an elon rocket exploding

I sell 2 lines of bathwater. smooth and crunchy

You guys ever notice that Little House on the Prairie never had an alien visitation episode?

one riff down, 30 to go

@bugbaby.bsky.social re: lol

guys I'm so close to figuring out the old spiderman jazz