To make a living, I install baseball field lights, clean sewer drains, and run a barbecue stand. Grasslight, gratekeep, grillboss.

This little dude is EXACTLY what I needed today. A bowl of oats didn’t cut it.

I finally figured out how to make a serviceable replacement for Marzetti’s lemon vinaigrette. The secret is adding enough sugar. My favorite salad dressing is just sugar.

Why aren’t any of the audiobook recordings of Moby Dick (at least the ones available on Libby) read by a grizzled old sailor? If I’m to listen to 24 hours of descriptions of whale hunting and processing, and old ships, and the search for meaning or whatever, I’m gonna need Ishmael to be grizzled af

Will oatmeal fix this? Probably not, but that won’t stop me from trying.

i have something to admit that's been weighing heavy on my heart: when i said "no worries" what i actually meant was "i have many worries all the time and this is but a drop in the ocean"

This little mushroom friend has been with me for many years now, through times both good and bad: my constant champignon.

Have you ever wanted to be a garden gnome-sized-and-shaped little guy rowing a little canoe across a calm lake to reach your cozy little mossy hut in the middle of a dense mushroom forest on an island in the aforementioned lake, where you can sit and eat oats and read books by candlelight?

I am floored. My efforts this morning to make oatmeal were countered by my clumsy elbow knocking over the open oatmeal container, spilling oats all over the counter and the floor.

Oatmeal is a great option at all hours of the day: almost nobody gets enough fiber these days, and oatmeal with some delicious mix-ins is a great way to hit your quota. Good god I’m so tired.

Roses are red oatmeal is brown when you have oats it’s harder to frown

Finally got my library card! They didn’t have any oats that I could check out, but they had plenty of books about oats! Libraries are wonderful!

“Hey, you aren’t allowed to do that,” the man murmured, as the wrecking ball exploded through the wall of his home.

Might I recommend a nice big bowl of oatmeal to help you get your daily dose of fiber as you watch the ship sink. Also, download information repositories if you can, and support your local libraries.

Time to wake up, scream briefly into the void, eat a nice big bowl of oatmeal, and try to do a little bit of good in this weird world.

In order to maximize your enjoyment of the library, eat your oats BEFORE you go. You’ll stay fuller longer and be able to enjoy more books! Libraries are wonderful places to learn about any number of topics (especially oats) for free! Don’t forget to ask about the other resources available to you!

‘The Peace of Wild Things’ - Wendell Berry (2018)

Eating a big bowl of oats while my inner monologue is just Scott Stapp from Creed singing “Can you take me higher?” over and over, louder and louder.

We love oats and we love libraries here in Oatville, USA. Try to visit your local library this week and tell your local librarians they are appreciated. They would probably appreciate hearing it!

It’s never a bad time to download wikipedia for offline viewing. How else would you be able to learn about oats if there were an unexpected, massive service disruption? There’s so much to learn! For example…

In irregular times with deregulation looming, we all could use a bit of regularity. Get yours today by having a nice big bowl of oatmeal, chock full of that delicious fiber your microbiota crave! Perfect for a feeling of fullness when your cup is empty!

Sunday is a great day to get the most out of your oats! For a sweet and salty treat, toss in some chocolate, maple syrup, and an extra dash of salt. For an unconventional and toatally delicious preparation, chuck an Oreo in there. Cookies and cream oats!

Cook 1/2C of oats whichever way speaks to you. While the oats are still piping hot, mix in a healthy scoop of your favorite nut/seed butter. Then, grab a slab of chocolate (TJ’s pound plus works well), and plop it into the oats. Gently cover it in a layer of oats. Do not stir yet…

Today is Friday, which is commonly known to be one of the 7 best days of the week to eat oatmeal!

Don’t forget to hydrate, friends. While water is a vital component of a traditional preparation of oatmeal, plain old water can also be drunk by itself. I’d highly recommend a nice big glass of water to start the day and another to close it out. And some water in between. And some oats.

Instead of eating horses, might I recommend eating oatmeal instead? It’s basically pre-horse, if you think about it.

Endless horrors got your goat? Get your oat™️ with a nice cold oatmeal stout. Some of the flavor, none of the fiber, but somehow much more calming than a big bowl of oatmeal. The only thing that could improve an oatmeal stout is the accompaniment of a nice big bowl of oatmeal.

It was a two-bowl-day for this oatmeal advocate. I hope you all enjoyed a bowl or three of those delicious, nutritious oats today!

On this 97th day of January 2025, might I recommend a big bowl of oatmeal and a nice nap?