Some gigantic butterfly has just carried Jorge Velasquez all the way into southern Libya.

Jorge Velasquez used to TP castles in his early days.

Several gnomes fell from Jorge's ceiling today. It seems his wood is rotten.

Jorge Velasquez can produce a pitcher full of store-brand diet soda from his palms.

Jorge Velasquez has been playing Mario Kart's 'Rainbow Road' for several hours now and he can't seem to drive a few feet without falling off.

San likes Jorge’s posts before reading them

Jorge Velasquez owns a pair of shoes that force him to walk to the nearest fast food restaurant. He picked them up from an estate sale recently and severely regrets his purchase.

Jorge Velasquez likes to check books out from his local library just to make them reappear behind the front desk moments after he departs.

Jorge Velasquez owns a purple crystal that can make mice cry.

Jorge Velasquez is very wise

Go-go gadget Jorge Velasquez!

A lava lamp with a small nude man trapped inside has just appeared in the center of Jorge's bedroom.

All of Jorge's grapes have just grown legs and marched out of his front door.

Jorge Velasquez started to wear sandals and many children laughed at him as he went shopping today.

Jorge Velasquez is downing several bottles of everclear and forgetting everything that he had done in the past 17 hours.

Every time Jorge Velasquez recklessly uses magic he must add a quarter to his bad wizard jar.

Jorge Velasquez enjoys sitting in public transport reading various newspapers with increasingly alarming headlines for everyone to see.

Jorge Velasquez doesn't give a damn 'bout his reputation.

Jorge Velasquez left his fingerprints on a knife he found and now several federal agents are interrogating him.

Jorge Velasquez keeps drinking several cans of sparkling water in quick succession and nearly exploding.

Jorge Velasquez went to the city today and several pigeons kept attacking his feet.

Jorge Velasquez has just watched twelve armoured men lose a battle to a child who did nothing but throw red pepper flakes into their eyeballs.

Jorge Velasquez can accurately guess the outcome of a coin flip 50% of the time.

Jorge Velasquez can't stop winning.

Jorge Velasquez went to the Seafood Disco yesterday and pulled a mussel.

Jorge Velasquez spent all of his Valentine's Day digging several deep holes around the local forest and covering them with tarps and leaves.

Kanye West will be replaced by Jorge West in one week, due to recent events.

Jorge Velasquez is watching in horror as his entire file system collapses into itself leaving nothing but his social security number lying on the floor.

Jorge Velasquez went to a club one day and found himself lost in the middle of Argentina for several years.

Jorge Velasquez does what Nintendon't

Everyone would be happier if the sun was the face of Jorge Velasquez instead of the bright white spot that it is today.

If you play a game of Monopoly with Jorge Velasquez, please be warned that many objects in the room may be thrown towards your direction during the game.

It's raining Jorges, hallelujah. It's raining Jorges, amen.

Every time Jorge Velasquez eats his lunch, a wizard somewhere gains his powers.

Jorge Velasquez will be real in 52 minutes.

Would the real Jorge Velasquez please stand up?

Every once in a while Jorge Velasquez goes out to eat ice cream in front of the windows of a Planet Fitness.

Jorge Velasquez is filling pie tins with mud and selling them at bake sales.

Most of Jorge's travels are using his model Infinite Improbability Drive which he built out of tribute to his favorite franchise.

Jorge Velasquez is making purchases on Roblox.

Nobody told Jorge Velasquez that hundreds of ants are capable of grouping up into a single humanoid mass. Nature is fascinating.

Jorge Velasquez is actually a secret agent.

Every time he goes out foraging, Jorge Velasquez watches as every mushroom he comes across sprouts legs just to run away from him.

Make Jorge Velasquez, not war.

Jorge Velasquez did magic before it was cool.

Jorge Velasquez has created some sort of mechanism, and it will not stop doing backflips.

The Earth quakes once more as Jorge Velasquez begins to type out yet another post.

Jorge Velasquez frequently turns plants into various shapes, such as a cube, or perhaps a pyramid.

ty jorge velasquez

Jorge Velasquez is making a few cupcakes and sprinkling dirt into them for dramatic effect.