Today is a Tuesday and the only day I’m working this week, so naturally my job decided to pack every single irritating possibility into one day

New achievement unlocked: family inside jokes 🥹 not hard to do when there’s Gemini placements around I love laughing at things only the three of us know about 🤭 toddlers are so funny

Turns out the Mars-Saturn opposition is just my child doing everything in his power to injure himself and others. Having a lot of fun

Grateful my job allows me to eat well and enjoy the psychological benefits of being surrounded by trees and water all day, also wish this was accessible to everyone and not just employees of Giant Evil Sports Corporation

I SAID NO PICTURES YOU MOTHERF—

Rhea Ripley That’s all

Happy mercury retrograde to me trying to buy groceries just now and being told my debit card PIN is wrong despite me using the same one for 5 years and never ever changing it

My husband: *always watching wrestling with our child* Also my husband: why is our child always trying to body slam me?

Saturn’s influence on my chart is such that no matter what planetary activation I’m experiencing, the results are almost always literal. No nuance or poetry to it. Yes Mercury cazimi in my 11th house in the sign of the self was like “I will rebrand my online platforms with my Very Own Name”

Moving in silence is hard when you’re an annoying bitch

Just had to save him from a rock that was stuck in his throat. 🫠 there are downsides

You gotta marry someone who just nods knowingly when you break into a reference from a 2005 SNL celebrity Jeopardy skit

Having a somewhat common name is devastating when it comes to purchasing URLs. What do you mean it’s $3400 to buy my name dot com

I should have figured when my son was born with a 3H Capricorn stellium (which includes a Mercury-Pluto conjunction) that he would be a dirt witch who loves Kiki’s Delivery Service

What perfect album came out when you were 16?

One of my coworkers whose first language is not English was trying to say “playing for the other team” with regard to someone being gay, but what they said was “coming from the other side” and that is such a delightfully ominous way to describe a homosexual

coyolxauhqui the moon as dis-membered witch mother. is that anything

Do you want to learn more about the fixed stars? I have dozens of resources on my newsletter <3 Here are some of my faves:

Very pleased to report the new assassin’s creed game lets you pet the cats AND the dogs AND keeps a log of each type of breed you pet

I don't know which part of this is funnier -- the fact that these folks created a legend, the pictures of the cats, the fact that they have a cat named Hubris, or the fact that Hubris' face makes you go, "Oh that's why..."

Perfume is mass produced in an ol factory ...and send

Me: wow I am having a Good Day what’s going on Jupiter: it’s literally my day and I’m exalted and relatively unaffected by Mercury rx

now do thiel

At some point in the past, I noticed a nervous tic of mine and it’s such an uncomfortable kind of self awareness when I notice myself doing said tic. Like I’m exposing myself to myself

whoever came up with the word "parallel" is such a diva and understands elegánce

I truly don’t know why they don’t just invest in making shade covers a default for playgrounds. They block rain too!!!

Jupiter (L6) exalted in Cancer (10H) and I’ve been eating SO GOOD as a result of my job & coworkers

Using my Mean Mom Voice™️ on my child who likes to attempt to throw himself through glass windows now, apparently <<<

Ozark is such an incredibly well-made show and it’s so much better the second time around when I’m not spending every second terrified of which character is going to die next

There’s a part of every new job that involves following someone else around like a puppy while they talk at you and tell you what to do. I have about 6 days’ worth of patience for this and it is day 7

At first I was annoyed bc my neighbor is poorly attempting to hammer a log splitter and is being very loud during naptime, but now I’m concerned that I can’t go back inside and take my eyes off of them because their form is so poor that I’m braced to dial 911 on their behalf.

Jupiter exalts in Cancer because the food tastes better when you have fun making it

how I feel after Norf Star

Mercury is def stationing in Leo (the sign of children) because my neighbor’s kid has been outside banging on their deck incessantly for the last half an hour 🫠

Started a new job while my chart ruler & timelord is in my 9th house and more than half the people I work with speak Spanish at work so I’m already getting better at it from being surrounded by it. Today I said 2 sentences to someone entirely in Spanish and surprised myself.

Doing literally anything after working for 8 hours feels like a personal faith project at this point. Like I need to prove to myself that wage labor doesn’t dominate my waking hours

Busy morning in the backyard

Grief is sooooooooooooooooooo

I support mercurial people and whatever it is they’re up to

Finally home, so I can cry for real

Third day at this job and I’m already crying in the walk-in, not because of work but because of Andrea Gibson’s passing

Working somewhere that’s basically the forest is so funny. A skunk ran across my path on my way in this morning.

I am So Tired of the whining and screaming and hitting and punching

Kiddo went to grandma’s last night so we could relax, but don’t worry, he made up for it by whining & screaming nonstop from the moment we brought him back home

Computer is always on night light mode so the screen is basically orange, then I pick up phone and screen looks violently green. This happens constantly and yet I do not stop picking up phone

At the end of the day I am so doted on it’s kinda crazy. It’s mind-boggling to have a life partner who nourishes me daily and also doesn’t feel like a restriction on my freedom.

Getting bossed around by a beautiful Russian woman is exactly where I belong

I forgot the worst part of having a job is going to it