This fancy Pilates place (that’s part of a chain!) opened a studio in my city and my gym recently closed, so I thought I’d try their intro special. But apparently you have to download an app to see their schedule. Also they spelled my name wrong. Anyway! Best way to ensure I never try your classes!

Need to know Djed Spence’s skincare routine, because he always looks so dewy and blemish-free

SHITHOUSERY

If my child tells me one more time that the three lions originated with Richard I’s coat of arms, I will commit a crime. Teach your children about the Plantagenets, they say! Have fun, they say!

woke: national hot dog day bespoke:

Every English person on my timeline today (Who am I kidding, I’m rooting for them against Argentina too)

England v. Argentina: "Never mind shithousery. Expect a shitmansion, a shitpalace." www.theguardian.com/football/202...

15yo: every time I see Mbappé, he looks stressed. Like he needs to file his taxes or something.

It is 30 degrees out and we don’t have air conditioning. I am trying to hit a deadline. My teenager is (badly) playing bass in his room and I can hear everything because his headphones aren’t working. I have had a headache since I woke up at 3:30 am. Is this what influencers mean by “90s summer”?

Liberté, égalité, Mbappé

Really need Joan of Arc or whoever to come through and deliver a semifinals victory for France on Bastille Day of all days

Delighted to see that even Dortmund is posting flirty Haaland/Bellingham fan edits

Genuinely one of the funniest, rage-baiting headlines I’ve ever seen

15yo very delighted to learn that the English team play Werewolf, one of his favourite summer camp games, in their off hours. Also delighted to learn that Harry Kane is apparently not good at it (well, not good at being one of the werewolves, anyway).

The shorts were shorting (and 15yo says he was secretly hoping it would be England)

The prophecy holds!

AN EARLY HUG, HOW BLESSÈD

15yo: Jude Victor William Bellingham is such a posh name

Waiting for some real goals to be scored (Haaland and Bellingham hugging at the end)

15yo has a lucky pair of red soccer shorts, and whenever he wears them to watch a World Cup game, the team he’s cheering for wins. But he supports both England and Norway, so it’s hard to say how today’s game will go. He thinks the shorts, being Umbro, might tip the game in England’s favour.

… and then Harry Kane gets an arrow in the eye? (Kidding, kidding - I might be cheering for France, but I’d be fine if anyone but Argentina won. I just want them all to have a good time and do shirtless hugs)

Sometimes things just feel so unbearable - like, beyond “go for a walk, count five things that you see and five things that you hear - and, even after many years of therapy and psychiatry, I don’t know what the solution to that is

I know this is nothing new, but I’m still frequently astonished by people wanting to, I don’t know, work through a bad mood, or be rude in a way that feels harmless, by leaving mean replies to random social media posts. It’s wild how unkind people can be when it feels like there are no consequences.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person living through an Ontario summer must be in want of a dock on a lake

Love World Cup time for many reasons, but mainly because I get to use the term shithousery more times in a few weeks than the rest of the four years combined.

15yo and I were howling at this earlier. It’s just perfectly done!

Me: if we moved to Spain and lived in one of the places we visited last year, which would you choose? 15yo: Seville, of course. Mother! I need to live in a city. A city with history. A city with Roman ruins. I can’t believe you would even ask me this question because the answer is so obvious.

The Metropolitan Cathedral of Mexico City dresses their statue of Baby Jesus in whatever uniform the national team is wearing in each game. My God I love the World Cup, just incredible things happening everywhere. Also, Sister Michael would no doubt approve, she loves a good statue.

HELL YEAH

Who I see whenever I look at my gangly, grown 15yo child:

Today in living without air conditioning: I went to light my fancy little candle and the wax was all sweaty and half-melted. Still, we must soldier on and enjoy the heat dome while we can. It will be -20 again in approximately five minutes.

You’re right, if I didn’t want you sitting in my tote and getting cat hair all over my things, I shouldn’t have left it on the couch. That’s on me.

Happy that the Wiggles have all finally come out of the closet

I know we were predicted to win this match, but it’s also quite thrilling that Canada is advancing to the Round of 16 for the first time ever. Hell yeah!!!

15yo’s room takes up the entire 3rd floor of our house, has its own bathroom, and is the only room with AC (we put our ancient portable unit up there because the attic gets way, way hotter than the rest of the house). I keep telling him that as soon as he moves out, I’m stealing his room.

I keep typing up snarky tweets and then deleting them. They’re not even going into the drafts! Personal growth.

Thinking about El Escorial — a historical building just outside of Madrid that, among other things, has been a monastery, royal residence, school, museum, etc — which is dedicated to Saint Lawrence and, fiendishly, is laid out to look like a gridiron, the instrument that killed him.

15yo and I went to watch the France-Norway game on the patio of our local soccer pub and it was just the greatest. We wound up sitting next to this large French-from-France family and they were so hyped to see 15yo wearing his France jacket. They had best energy, getting up and dancing w/every goal.

The freelance hustle has been especially tough this past year, so I’m really feeling this. I’d love if I actually got to spend my time doing journalism, and not just sending pitches out into the ether or spending weeks/months waiting for people to get back to me about pieces that have been assigned

Maybe something good will happen today.

New papal tiara just dropped

Mbappé vs Haaland is gonna be so good that I almost don’t care who wins

15yo, as we’re watching the England vs Ghana match: a lot of the World Cup players are, like, basically your age Me: yeah, I’m surprised they’re still playing! 15yo: Ronaldo is 41, Luka Modrić is 41 Me: hell yeah 15yo: David Beckham is retired, but you’re almost his age Me: NO I AM NOT

Me, after our Mass this morning had no hymns or other extra bits: Looks like we got the economy Mass this morning. 15yo: The economy class of Masses. Ryan Prayer.

15yo: let’s see … I’m PRIMARILY cheering for France, but I’m also cheering for England because football’s coming home Me: 😡 15yo: but I’m also cheering for Scotland. And Canada, obviously. And Croatia. And Norway, because of their Viking photo and rowing chant. Man, I love World Cup years.

One of my sister’s former high school teachers is a deacon at my church. My sister had a hard time in primary and secondary school because of a raging case of ADHD. Deacon Blaine, who repeated two grades in elementary school, will be the first to tell you that he probably has undiagnosed ADHD.

“I know I mostly look like dad. I don’t know what I got from you. Your French unibrow maybe? I mean. It’s a good unibrow, so thank you.”

15yo: Boston ran out beer? Sounds like a skill issue. If Scotland was playing in Nova Scotia they would never have run out of beer. Me: I mean, Boston is a drinking city. I’m sure they had a lot of beer! 15yo, darkly: but they ran out, and New Scotland wouldn’t have. Sounds like a skill issue.

Boosting this for the evening crowd. Come for a great story, stay for my annoying voice!!

For Countless Journeys, a podcast by the Canadian Museum of Immigration, I did an episode about a young man who built a soccer tournament - & anti-gang initiative, & mental health support group, & overall community - for diaspora Africans in Manitoba. I really love this story and hope you will too!