I only post shit like this when I know my friends won't yell at me and hit me with bricks for being stupid :3c

Oof my feet are swelling up 🫤 maybe I should cool it on sitting for 12 hours at a time 🤔 .... Or I could stop being a lil bitch and buy some compression socks and rise and grind 😤

Oh and because no one asked Godzilla atomic breaths ranked (not up for discussion): 1. Shin Godzilla 2. Minus one Godzilla 3. Heisei Godzilla 4. Legendary Godzilla 1st movie only 5. Toho Godzilla

To this very day, I watch the first scene where (legendary version) Godzilla first showed his face and roar. And I STILL get goosebumps

"hey phor can your dad fight?" He was a waffle house cook for 3 years "...oh"

If a group of vampires go to feed at a nursing home, are cracking open an old one with the cold boys? 🤔

Whew song writing marathon today! 9/13 done. My dumbass made a fucked up time signature on one of my beats so getting lyrics to it is gonna be a PAIN but it's a pretty beat so it'll be worth it

okay mood turned 180 i am now writing the horny song and i can't stop giggling because... i am a child 😂

Without further adieu, here he is. the leopard seal I've been designing for a while and brought to life by @bearlyfeline.bsky.social I am over the moon and loved the collaboration. Cant wait to see what he gets into 👀💦

ugh! give me strength 😭 writing some painful lyrics and they're getting me choked up 🥺

50cent and T.I. beefin?

JaMarcus Darkson

Tomorrow the boy may be unleashed 👀💦

Welp! The tumbleweeds are taken care of, now gotta figure out the sprinklers 🤔

Man I got bitchslapped with a whole bunch of bullshit today 😭 irrigation system needs to be replaced and I got a notice of tumbleweeds that need removal from my alleyway. I'd have to pay someone to get those out too 🫤

fun fact i have never broken a bone, fractured a couple. but never broken one

sike it's time for FANCY dogs

I know this look, it's the "where TF do I put the shadows on the perspective?!" Look

I would be absolutely insufferable if I had a pet Rey Dau. Think about it. If someone were mouthing off to me all I would need to say is "you talkin mad shit for someone within rail gun distance..." And then everything goes my way 😃

Oh God dammit 🫤 box of chicken broth went bad with a use date of September of this yeah and ruined an entire shoulder roast :<

Squid the dawg!

You mean to tell me that half my streaming apps that I pay for are fucking included in my innanet plan?! 😑 All I had to do was sign in through my ISP website 😭 well that's at least $70 a month I don't have to worry about now at least I guess

I haven't seen the Goat movie but I have this unrelenting feeling I'm gonna love Modo

"Snow dogs" their entire marketing was blatantly 'the dogs talk' for a fun movie. The dogs did not talk in that fuckin movie

Today is a sushi day ion feel like making a goddamn thing 😭

Bruh who the fuck was harassing Gintan? All the dude did was dance to my knowledge. People out here doxxing and sending death threats and driving him off the edge? I have heard nothing of him doing anything ill-mannered. Fuck exposing them, they need their fuckin mouth beat in

Haha! -Canned biscuits pressed into the foil pie pan -cooked and drained chorizo -whisk flour into the drippins for a gravy -diced onion and jalapenos, egg, and cheese mixed into the cooked chorizo That's it!

And I know werewolves that might be going. "Is this about me? Is he serious? Nah couldn't be me..." Bitch how tf you think I wound up in this wheelchair. I tamed one and I'm on recovery to tame you too, there's a blood moon this month and I'm gonna f-*restrained and carried away*

A werewolf up to me and sayin some shit like "I can smell your heartbeat..I know what you want" is a level of whore from deep inside that you cannot even FATHOM Can you comprehend the Olympian bouncing I would do on it?! That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard but watch me pull this 2520 on it

Look who it is 😍

sketch page comm of an old design i’ve sold ✨🥹

PFFFFFT HAHAHAHHA 😂 WELL THEN! lessons have been learned lmao

Actually taking steps for last years resolution to make a music album and I figured out where I was stuck so I'm gonna add it to the list of resolutions for this year. (Along with cane walking)

Gonna make some chorizo... Pies? Would that be empanadas? I don't wtf I'm doing I'm just gonna make it lol

Ate too much and had to lay down because I felt so bloated. Took two hours and a 5 second belch and now I'm feeling right as rain 😂

:3c

I... God dammit 😠 😂

Saw the neurologist today and she was impressed at my rate of recovery and very pleased with the improvements. I asked about the treadmill and she said "I'm really nervous about that because of the fall risk" and I said "but will it work though" "...yes" so face breaking it is then 😃

Christ. I remember waking up at 3:30AM to work at 4:45AM and going home at 8-11PM 7 days a week for months on end (really only getting federal holidays off, sometimes). I went to sleep last night at midnight and woke up at the ass crack of 7:30 and I am HURTING lol how tf did I ever do that 😭

Attend all, I present to you! This thing

My CTE/TBI station has been completed 😃

commission for @ahst.bsky.social

I remember one time a coworker put one of those smoke alarm prank beepers under my desk at work. I am embarrassed to say I never noticed it until he gave up and showed me and asked "how did you not go insane"

Ever lurking, menacing, ready to pounce and tear the victim to shreds, unyielding, unforgiving, unstoppable, an unprecedented predatorial threat, imminent suffering and death incarnate:

Me: *Minding my business fixing airplanes* My boyfriend:

i was looking up wheelchair scales and found this... I- oh 😂

Happy Valentine's Day to my partner in crime @genom.bsky.social hard to believe it'll be 8 years in May. And here's to many more!

Roses are red Violets are blue Tony Hawks Pro Skater 2

If I were to pick one dino that I would make a character out of, it'd be a Utahraptor... .... ...I'm gonna make another character ain't I?