Whoever voted against banning the tush push needs their fucken head checked. #NFL

Tonight’s optimism. #NUFC

Can’t dribble Can’t beat the first man on set pieces Passings atrocious Can’t track back and defend effectively A blind sniper finishes better Makes Arsenal think they play with 10 men when he starts… That 36 seconds was the anomaly.

"You've let me down, you've let the squadron down... and worst of of all you've let yourself down."

Crazy. RIP Ricky lad.

Right. Here’s the winning lineup pals.

Happy Week One Sunday everybody! We fucken made it! #NFL

'Full Circuit' Starring Tom Hiddleston, Ben Whishaw and Lauren Socha A burnt-out architect takes a random day off to escape reality where he ends up on a day trip on the DLR, but is mistaken for a thief. His peaceful escape becomes a high-speed chase as he works to clear his name and foil a heist.

I wonder what Fabrizio Romano’s commission from Liverpool will be now that it’s done? #NUFC

Fucken state on Sky Sports News on this 2 minute countdown… Jesus wept

For the fee and the statement, I’m not welcoming that Wissa approach. #NUFC

Breakfast of Champions Bill Hader, Aubrey Plaza and Patton Oswalt A hotel employee, Frank, helps a woman named Clara attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the most bacon eaten in one sitting, all while fending off a rival competitive eater.

I’ve just watched a 6 minute YouTube video of Woltemade playing football and I’m now convinced that he’s the best player to ever grace the green, grassy dance floor. #NUFC

He’s here… and he’s beautiful. #NUFC

Todays three things that annoy me: 1) People who say ‘Finna’ 2) People who make lists 4) People who can’t count

Superb 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Shall we tell Liverpool that Isak is susceptible to a groin pull every now and then?

We’re winning it again lads. #NUFC

Catch me if you scan Former con man Frank Abagnale, now with the FBI, teams up with his former pursuer, Carl Hanratty, to catch a low-level grifter. The new con artist, who uses an Aldi uniform to expose corporate fraud, forces Frank to confront the morals of his past while admiring the new culprit

I am absolutely raging with Gordon. He’s shown rediscovered form this season and he goes and does that. He’s got some major making up to do. #NUFC

It’s actually not mate. The similarities between the two are far closer than you think. But it’s okay, not everyone is ready to talk about it yet.

Pep does the same and has done for years.

West Ham vs Chelsea 1) West Ham are already down. 2) Paqueta and Bowen needs to leave them immediately. 2) Chelsea are dark horses for the league.

Bournemouth vs Wolves 1) Wolves are in trouble. 2) Bournemouth losing their entire backline this summer will be the catalyst to their decline. 3) Strand-Larsen needs to go to a better club. He’s much too good for Wolves.

Brentford vs Villa 1) Brentford will stay up, I’ve said this all summer. 2) Villa are slowly losing their identity - Emery needs to be careful. 3) That Villa kit is class though.

Burnley vs Sunderland 1) Sunderland will go down. 2) Burnley will stay up. 3) Josh Cullen is a fantastic footballer, it’s a shame he’s 29 and not 22.

3 takeaways from Arsenal vs Leeds 1) Arsenal really need to review their training and conditioning activities to prevent so many injuries - happened for years. 2) Gyokores scored a great first goal but I’m not convinced overall. 3) Witnessed the real Leeds yesterday. Farke will be gone by November.

3 takeaways from Man City vs Spurs 1) Brennan Johnson is key for Spurs. 2) Frank is a good manager. 3) Yes, Trafford messed up but he stopped the error by making contact with the ball, there were 5 City defenders behind him when the shot was taken - defenders need to shoulder the blame a bit more.

I’ve not gotten into many bands in the last 10 years but these guys were an exception. If it wasn’t for the music, lyrics and the sense that everything is going to be okay, I’d probably be in a different situation today. If you’ve never delved into them, I strongly recommend it. They’re superb

Not a bad start. James not playing but Barry should get me a point or two.

I FUCKEN LOVE MY CLUB! #NUFC

The Long Run Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill Facing an unbearable family wedding, a man invents an excuse to run a marathon. What begins as a convenient lie turns into a hilarious, year-long journey that not only gets him out of the event but transforms his life in the process.

The Digital Divide Edward Norton, Noah Jupe When his own son is corrupted by an online cult, a cybersecurity expert realises his security program for children is flawed. Now he must race to take down his own system and save his son before the very technology he created is used to exploit millions.

One of the greatest intros and logo in cinematic history. But, I’ve got an idea for his cremation… hear me out…

The Long Game Starring Bryan Cranston & Jeff Daniels An old man meticulously gets revenge on his high school bullies by quietly dismantling their lives through hacking and other dark arts. But, will the satisfaction he has sought for decades be the cathartic relief he expected?

Ashes to Ashes Starring Steve Carell and Leslie Mann A man accidentally loses his mother-in-law's ashes and makes a frantic swap for his cat's. With his lie threatening to unravel under a suspicious family member's gaze, he goes on a chaotic journey to find the real ashes and save his marriage.

Welcome to Newcastle, Jacob! 😍 We have completed the signing of attacking midfielder Jacob Ramsey from Aston Villa for an undisclosed fee.

😁

Jacob Ramsey is a Mag! 🙌

Since when was Kyle Walker-Peters 28 years old?

50 First States From the creators of Road Trip. A teen's cross-country road trip is an absurd mission to "conquer" all fifty states. His frantic quest leads to hilarious mishaps, but he meets a girl who forces him to choose between his impossible goal and a chance at real romance.

Allowing Liverpool to breakaway from the Premier League to join a Super League is starting to sound like a good idea...

The Hack of the Century A data entry clerk who fantasises about being a master hacker accidentally downloads a top-secret file. Now on the run from the FBI and real criminals, he must use a series of hilarious blunders and chaotic mishaps to accidentally expose the real culprits and clear his name.

The Golden Nugget A daydreaming accountant's idealised crush on his colleague is shattered by a huge toilet blockage she's responsible for. His initial disgust turns to bizarre admiration, launching a messy and hilarious courtship where they find a genuine connection in their shared imperfections.

This is not just a video. This is THE video. #NUFC

🚨🚨💣EXCLUSIVE: Fabrizio Romano to Liverpool, HERE WE GO! Liverpool verbally agree to deal in Principle with Romano for package including numerous posts designed to unsettle a number of players. Medical and signing on fees already agreed before the summer window, as reported.

I just got scared by my own reflection.

Jimmy Eat Continent

I’m Malick Thiaw. I’m Newcastle United. 😍