Fuck! My IQ was decreased today at work I HATE this job it doesn't work correctly. [ Smashes a coffee cup over her own head ] Ahh that feels better I think I might go back to work now.

(@dreamybbq.bsky.social can this be them)

// rips off my shirt to reveal a second shirt that says "I ❤️ LESBIANS"

Am I anything? Am I even a person beneath?

] speaking wingdings and she was STILL making up words

Fuck! My IQ was decreased today at work I HATE this job it doesn't work correctly. [ Smashes a coffee cup over her own head ] Ahh that feels better I think I might go back to work now.

Worry not! You have my word.

] sorry i think it's really fucking funny to think she can just do that.

L-listen to me! Regrettably, I'm v-very hard-working and sh-shouldn't be in a place full of morons having FUN.

[ Grabby hands. Reaching out and putting her head back on. Retrieving her hat from the ground and putting it back in place. ] Bless you for your assistance!

[ Slowly growing more distant ] Highly inconveniencing. Would you mind assisting me

Ah, that's right! Like so. [ Pulling out the Humanboard? And petting its head? ]

[ Her head falls to the ground like a fucked up ball and starts rolling away ]

Quite frankly, I haven't the foggiest idea of what's happening to me.

Petting...? But I'm not a pet.

] i hope everyone knows im referencing this

... Huh? What? What was that? What did you just do to me.

Real life isn't a video game. You can't just press the reset button. The sins you've committed will never disappear.

With prices this low, you can't afford a lifetime to wait!

I'm sorry. Nothing I say makes any sense anyway... If I were you, I wouldn't believe any of it.

Hey pal! My sympathy is gonna cost you for every condolence.

Is this some kind of attack .

Fucking do it, I dare you.

Oh, please, pardon me of my sins, Your Great and Merciful Majesty. Should I smash my face into a rock until it's unrecognizable?

What's your PROBLEM.

Ah, you're exactly right! Please accept my apologies! Social distancing is still a vital practicement.

Why the fuck do you look like me.

[ Her head is vibrating a little bit like an object clipping into another object in gmod. Collision sfx included ]

[ Freezing up like a prey animal and following the approaching paw with her eyes ]

(Slot machines, they feed on hope.)

You’re frivolous, full of fatigue.

You're the, you're the one who's to blame; It can't be stopped, I'm sick with shame!

] sorry the self loathing runs Deep.

I am merely the dirt beneath your feet. I believe we were discussing... hmm... payment, at one point or the other?

You're referring to Coral Glasses, true? She is clearly a hard worker. Quite the valuable asset to her employer, I'm certain.

But it's true! No changing of mind required.

Oh, I don't deserve anything. Have a lovely day!

Attention! breaking news! The world is getting worse, and you are too.

Ugh, I don't have TIME FOR THIS! I COULD BE WORKING RIGHT NOW!!!

Well, I'm afraid I can't trust anyone but myself. I know her better than anyone, after all. You know, she and I are practically strangers.

] they don't call her meanie for nothing .

Oh, please, spare me the BULLSHIT you're leaking. Am I supposed to actually BELIEVE any of the mangled messages pouring from your mouth?

And what the hell do I get out of it?

I am a wonderful mother. My son is a head and I plant him in the ground and use him as stairs

I get beaten to death in many different ways on a regular basis I would sincerestly appreciate if you did not add to it .

Hmm... A great deal, you say?

Yeah, right. If I get anywhere NEAR you you're going to MAUL ME. 💢

Whgat

Once I was hit over the head with a large metal bat and my head was sent flying. It took a total of three hours to recover it.