Went on a little hike

My zoomer friend suggested we go to a gay bar together but I didn’t realize he just meant a really stupid bar

People in 2016 often said that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were basically the same, but that’s simply not true. Hillary never gave Bill Clinton a beej

Donald Trump died the way he lived: sucking Bill Clinton’s dick

Dad brought over his new kitten. Her name is Lulu and she is barely the size of one peanut. She is the smallest creature who ever lived. I will die for her

I’m looking for suggestions for restaurants in San Francisco. My mom’s scheduled to have surgery there this month, and I’m in charge of finding some fun stuff to do to keep her mind off things. We’ve budgeted for this, but obviously we don’t really have Michelin star money lol

I have genuinely never seen a cat sit like this

To be honest, Jacques, I don’t actually feel very strongly about snakes at all

She belongs in a museum

Taking a brief sojourn from Wilburposting to obnoxiously photograph my girlfriend’s cats

BREAKING NEWS:

Maybe this site has the juice after all

They’re calling him the comfiest boy who ever lived

he broods

Good Boy (2025), dir. Ben Leonberg

look at himb

The Boomers had The Byrds. Gen X had Swans. Millennials had Andrew Bird. Zoomers had Geese. George Lucas was right: it’s just like poetry. It rhymes

All the hot startups are removing the vowels from their company names, so I’m thrilled to announce my new app for daily abdominal exercises, ABDL

The year is 2003. I walk into the Microsoft offices with utter conviction as I write a single phrase on the white board in front of me: AGE OF VAMPIRES. I am immediately fired, because I am ten years old

ONLINE LEFTIST ROASTS CONSERVATIVE SOUP BONES

Someone sent a few of my tweets that were less than kind to Charlie Kirk to my employer and now I’m unemployed. It sucks and I feel like shit. This is a bad time to be looking for jobs.

We can all take comfort knowing that Stephen Crowder is probably really scared rn

A good witch’ll do that!

actually the top’s not doing so great

“Resister circuit?” I say, chuckling softly. “I hardly even know her circuit!” I am shot four hundred times in the chest

Behind every powerful butthole joke is a woman

Target’s new pride catalog has been expanded to include straight guys who went to art school

The key to future Democratic victory is this guy giving me his social security number

Dicknic at Banging Cock: a film by Peter Queer

It is my firm and unyielding belief that Jai Courtney’s parents actually named him Jay Courtney but they were so chronically Australian that their doctor misspelled it phonetically

I Goon on Your Grave

Just once, I wish the journalists hired to write this nonsense had the guts to do their jobs and look these people in the eyes to ask them what, exactly, they thought “mass deportations now” meant

Mia Goth’s even posher, much more proper sister, Iama Goth

happy cishet shame month

Just saw the girl of my dreams. She had no eyes and her nostrils beheld a great void and she was followed by a hundred thousand flies and a sheet of blood and she told me the hour and day of my death and also my high school principal was there for some reason

I think we might have to ***l P**** **ei*

Please be serious for a moment: Trump was impeached TWICE and it didn’t do anything, because the Democratic Party doesn’t have the guts to make him face anything close to a serious consequence. If we can’t get our shit together, nothing will ever get better

An anti-orientalist boy band called N’SAID

Ok but surely you understand that throwin’ a little hot sauce on that bad boy is also a very American behavior

I would just like to say something. A jort isn’t just any pair of denim shorts. A jort is a pair of jeans that have been cut off at the thighs. You idiots. You rubes.

friend shaped

me and the homies

oh hon hon je fume les viandes

Zionists are burning little children alive on a daily basis, we've all seen the videos, but you are here posting about the legality of fundraisers for the victims of that genocide. Turn every gadget off, sit down and ask yourself if that is really the piece of shit you want to be

We’ve gotta do something about these people. Something specific. You know, one something in particular

me: hey what’s up Plutarch: ok, so imagine you were in possession of Theseus’ cuck chair,

It’s always so funny how common this line is from the tech sector. Like, if you genuinely believe the work you’re doing will bear terrible consequences for the human race, why are you doing it lol