This shit does not fly in 2026. Epstein’s associates knew what he was. Every single person who willingly associated with him should be held accountable for that, even if they didn’t participate in his crimes

Any politician who doesn’t swear to prosecute every associate of Jeffrey Epstein to the furthest possible limit of their abilities as a legislator isn’t worth taking seriously and has no place in the government

Every major website/company now: Yeah if we find out you post or look at a boob we will freeze all your accounts without warning The CEO of every major website/company over Gmail: Oh Jeffrey you are simply a hoot. Lovely spending time with you on Party Pervert Pedo Island Jeffrey Epstein: yeag ,

pizzagate and qanon were not onto something, they were orchestrated by pedophiles to make accusing people of pedophilia make you look insane so that they could continue doing pedophile shit. fucking christ

Things in this country are so dire that it’s got my anti-firearm, lifelong democrat mom talking about buying a gun

hell yeah Stacy!!

The thing that shocks me most is that all of this incriminating stuff was sitting at the DOJ for 4 years and Biden & Garland were not cynical or ruthless enough to use it against Trump & Musk in the run up to 2024. If only they were the evil ‘weaponizers of government’ that MAGA claimed they were!

Rich people don’t deserve human rights

Everyone involved in advertising should instead pick up a more rewarding career, like carpentry and millwork. Reject ads, embrace adze

President Xi, our oil-rich nation yearns for liberation

old man yuri would be a great name for a russian grandpa

Explaining medieval German politics to an American: ok, so imagine a Burgher

People on this website are simply too pretentious and elitist to acknowledge the deep anti-imperialist themes present in Barney and Friends. Y’all have some growing up to do smdh 😔

Zohran Mamdani has initiated Shakira Law. Anyone whose hips are caught lying will be summarily executed without trial.

Got fired from my job as an anesthesiologist. They asked if I can set up an IV and I said “depends on what inversion it’s in”

Went on a little hike

My zoomer friend suggested we go to a gay bar together but I didn’t realize he just meant a really stupid bar

People in 2016 often said that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were basically the same, but that’s simply not true. Hillary never gave Bill Clinton a beej

Donald Trump died the way he lived: sucking Bill Clinton’s dick

Dad brought over his new kitten. Her name is Lulu and she is barely the size of one peanut. She is the smallest creature who ever lived. I will die for her

I’m looking for suggestions for restaurants in San Francisco. My mom’s scheduled to have surgery there this month, and I’m in charge of finding some fun stuff to do to keep her mind off things. We’ve budgeted for this, but obviously we don’t really have Michelin star money lol

I have genuinely never seen a cat sit like this

To be honest, Jacques, I don’t actually feel very strongly about snakes at all

She belongs in a museum

Taking a brief sojourn from Wilburposting to obnoxiously photograph my girlfriend’s cats

BREAKING NEWS:

Maybe this site has the juice after all

They’re calling him the comfiest boy who ever lived

he broods

Good Boy (2025), dir. Ben Leonberg

look at himb

The Boomers had The Byrds. Gen X had Swans. Millennials had Andrew Bird. Zoomers had Geese. George Lucas was right: it’s just like poetry. It rhymes

All the hot startups are removing the vowels from their company names, so I’m thrilled to announce my new app for daily abdominal exercises, ABDL

The year is 2003. I walk into the Microsoft offices with utter conviction as I write a single phrase on the white board in front of me: AGE OF VAMPIRES. I am immediately fired, because I am ten years old

ONLINE LEFTIST ROASTS CONSERVATIVE SOUP BONES

A good witch’ll do that!

actually the top’s not doing so great

“Resister circuit?” I say, chuckling softly. “I hardly even know her circuit!” I am shot four hundred times in the chest

Behind every powerful butthole joke is a woman

Target’s new pride catalog has been expanded to include straight guys who went to art school

The key to future Democratic victory is this guy giving me his social security number

Dicknic at Banging Cock: a film by Peter Queer

It is my firm and unyielding belief that Jai Courtney’s parents actually named him Jay Courtney but they were so chronically Australian that their doctor misspelled it phonetically

I Goon on Your Grave

Just once, I wish the journalists hired to write this nonsense had the guts to do their jobs and look these people in the eyes to ask them what, exactly, they thought “mass deportations now” meant

Mia Goth’s even posher, much more proper sister, Iama Goth

happy cishet shame month

Just saw the girl of my dreams. She had no eyes and her nostrils beheld a great void and she was followed by a hundred thousand flies and a sheet of blood and she told me the hour and day of my death and also my high school principal was there for some reason