The day my brother went missing was the day everything changed. Parents saw danger everywhere. I got sent off to summer camp "for my own good!" How was I to know that my parents had planned to have a pool installed as a surprise for me while I was gone? If I'd known I'd have buried him elsewhere.

You can find this statue in my favorite #Texas town, #McKinney. Obviously it was dedicated to the first man to ever utter the phrase, “Pull my finger.” 😁

Comment to cars when driving: They need to hurry up and get out of the way! Comment to cars when walking in my neighborhood: He’s going way too fast and needs to slow down!

We had to put our 20 year old cat down a year ago and our 21 year old cat about 2 weeks ago. We were going to hold out on getting another cat. That didn’t last long. 1/2

It’s my #birthday which means taking my wife to a doctor’s appointment, brunch, and then doing the laundry. Birthdays are exciting when you’re older. 😂

My dog, Abby, is still around and she’s the best girl so I’m confident the #rapture didn’t happen. 😁

I had a dream in which my father showed up at the library where I worked. We chatted for a bit and then he took a little chapbook I’d published off the shelf and bragged about it to everyone around. I am a retired librarian but I’ve never published a

I grew up southern #Baptist where sex and drinking happened behind closed doors but the hate was right out front.

@ryn-rehnard.bsky.social Thought of you when I saw this. www.facebook.com/share/v/15TV...

Saying goodbye Why is it sad? Makes us remember the good times we've had Much more to say Foolish to try It's time for saying goodbye. #RIPJasper 2005-2025 #catsofbluesky

My wife and I both turn 60 next year and so we’re planning a trip to #London. We are looking for recommendations of sites to see, places to eat, things to do. Any recommendations/suggestions are appreciated. #UK #Vacation

I see strangers online and have friends and acquaintances posting about Charlie Kirk who are enraged by some Democrats response to the killing. Where was that outrage with the Hortman assassination? And what was the White House response to their deaths? Nothing. No prayers, 1/3

@crobertcargill.bsky.social Happy birthday!

On our walk tonight my dog, Abby, is finishing her business in someone’s yard when the sprinklers come on. She shot out of the yard so fast! #dogs

I remember a time when the perceived great threat to the US was from outside the nation. Places like Russia, Iraq, and Iran. Now the greatest threat to the US sits in the Oval Office.

Trump is calling #museums, “the last remaining segment of ‘WOKE’.” Museums are a record of our past be it past art, artifacts, peoples, or history. Museums educate about the past & that past can be both pleasant and terrible. It’s those terrible things including “how bad slavery was” that upset him.

“Oh Wendy,” said Peter as he knelt beside her in her wheelchair. “I’ve looked everywhere for you.” “Do I know you?” asked Wendy. “You did. A long time ago,” said Peter as he stroked her cheek. “A #pixie and Peter.” “Yes! I’m going to take you to them.” “No! I can’t leave. Peter’s coming.” #VSS365

“Mama! Birdy hurt!” my child cried. Outside we found a bird with a broken #wing. “There’s not much we can do.” “I fix.” She cupped the bird in her hands & whispered to it. Letting it go, it flew away. “How?” “Grammy taught me.” “You never met Grammy.” “Silly mama. She’s right beside you.” #VSS365

“Welcome to #Mystical Art 101. For those that think this is a class about the Yeti or Unicorns you’re going to be very disappointed & might want to drop the class. This is Mystical Art. We study things like why the eyes of paintings seem to follow you & why Mona Lisa has that smile.” #VSS365

“Why do you look so #grumpy?” “My mother came by.” “Good grief. Again?” “I know. Some days I hate being a medium. She’s more annoying in death than she was in life.” #VSS365

It took nearly 3 hours but my friend and I reached the end of the #rainbow. “We’re rich!” he cried as he ran for the cauldron. As he peered into it leprechauns sprang out of their hiding places, pushed him in, and slammed the lid to cries of, “Tonight we feast!” #VSS365

“Honey, just so you know, the kids are hiding waiting to scare you,” my wife said as I got home. As I sat on the bed I heard a quiet #laugh from underneath it. As I bent down to turn the tables and scare them I heard from behind me, “Boo! Daddy, did we scare you?” #VSS365

“Hiney! No. Honey. There’s a #spider in the shower! Relp! No. Help!” “You’re scared of a little spider?” he asked as he threw open the shower door. “So hard to operate a human,” said his wife’s body as it collapsed and thousands of spiders crawled out of her mouth & scurried to her husband. #VSS365

My favorite doctor and companion.

“Why would you prank her? You know what she’s like. Of all the dumb things you’ve done this takes the cake. Pranking a witch. Let me go talk to her and see if I can get her to reverse the spell.” #VSS365

“I’m with the HOA and wanted to drop off the rules. Violation of any rule will lead to a fine. Any questions?” “Let me see, if I violate a rule the homeowner gets fined?” “You’ve got it. Have a nice day.” “I can’t wait to see his face when he finds out we’re renting and not the homeowner.” #VSS365

“How come we never see your girlfriend?” my neighbor asked. “My girlfriend?” “Yes. Our apartment walls are thin. Every morning I hear you tell her, ‘Be good. Stay out of trouble. You know I have to go to work so no sass when I get home.’” “I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m talking to my cat.” #VSS365

“I pulled him over for going 160 in a 55 zone,” the cop told his Lieutenant. “What was his excuse?” “He didn’t have one. He handed me his ID and I could tell it was fake. I bent down to talk to him and he was gone.” “Gone?!” “Just disappeared.” “What’s his name so we can find him?” “Angel.” #VSS365

“You’re leaving? You bitches just don’t want a real man.” “A real man? What do you mean by that?” his date asked. “You know. A John Wayne type.” “You’re more Andrew Tate. Lacking charm, empathy, or any decency.” #VSS365

“How’d your date go?” my roommate asked. “It didn’t. While she was getting ready her cat began to use my leg as a scratching post. As I pulled it off my date came out and the cat let out a scream and went limp. She thought I killed it. Should’ve known to expect it from a cat named Mischief. #VSS365

“This light needs to stay on,” his real estate agent explained. “Stay on? All the time?” “Yes. All the time. If you don’t you’ll hear a loud #hum,” replied the agent. “There’s an electrical issue?” “No, little Johnny is afraid of the dark.” “Johnny?” “The little boy that haunts this room.” #vss365

The #elm breathed a sigh of relief as the chainsaw cut into its flesh. No one remembered the tree houses or tire swings that had once been the best part of the tree’s past. Now it only had one name. The hanging tree for what one tired wife did to her husband. #VSS365

If someone wants to kidnap me, here’s the way to do it. “Hey, come over here, I’ve got tamales for sale. They’re just over here in my van.” #tamales

It’s impossible to celebrate the 4th of July and our freedom when the freedoms of so many are being stripped away.

This is the kind of relationship I have with my wife. Me: I just turned on the shower. I had to twist its knob. As soon as I did it squirted. 😂😂😂 Her: 🤦🏼‍♀️

These aren’t Jarts. Where’s the steel tip? Where are the group of kids throwing them high in the air and then dodging them as they fall?

I propose changing the name "To Do List" to "Ta-Da List" and saying "ta-da" with panache after crossing off an item.

😂😂😂

The Devil plays that fiddle much better than Johnny. I said what I said.

Jasper waiting semi-patiently to be fed. He’s 20 and he’s an eating and sleeping machine.

Taco salad - you had me at taco...you lost me at salad

Pope Pull My Finger

Who is the singer you wish were still living so you could see them in concert? For me it’s easy, Cass Elliot. What a voice. She was incredible. #CassElliot

Dog Ma

@hannahmwrites.bsky.social Check your email. I finished your book! 🌶️🔥❤️

“But he’s the biggest dick.” -Everyone

The Cake of Pi

Do I understand what it’s like to be trans? To feel trapped in the wrong body? No. But I don’t have to understand it to feel empathy and to support those that do feel that way.