showing up to work violently hungover and my phone on 20 percent i feel so ashamed wednesday fish SEND ME 100 DOLLARS NOW

i asked if i can quit my job and they said yes im allowed

uptown deli guy just said “see you tomorrow” what do you think he meant by that

got home from work at 330 yesterday and laid down just woke up at 4am fierce

damn this sandwich kinda smells like wetdog what’s wetdog? this pussy baby

helvetikah is the only bitch i need to see do zombieboy she would have wiped both of them

working a shift with skater saved me

i can’t stand ugly bitches especially when they dare to be bald

3rd time i’ve locked myself out of my apartment this year and every time i’ve been fine because i love not panicking

just found out my biggest opp died 6 months ago and nobody even told me all meal prep cafe rot in hell you nasty bitch

woke up to texts from my sister saying she sucked 4 dicks in one day and a voice note from my daughter saying she got a 40 year old cross dresser to buy her and her friends drinks… my family my impact

now who in their right mind would make a physical threat towards me when has that ever ended well

speaking of eating: had two of these beauties last night and i’m not saying it wasn’t worth it but i am saying the body DOES keep the score

the half resuscitated corpse of berlonk looks ugly as fuck

they fired half my department so if you need a job hmu i guess lmao

just saw the man that literally put the shirt on my back

i don’t have enemies anymore EXCEPT this guy that shoves in front of me to get on the bus every morning then walks slow as fuck the whole way

love when my doctor tells me about what he did at belly up 🥰🥰

they’re breathing hot breath on my nachos baby i’m already rolling burritos

damn it’s like nobody wants to go get martinis on a sunny beautiful sunday afternoon anymore we used to be a real country

since i missed belly up last night ill be hosting belly down in my apartment starting right now bears come over put your belly down on me

me and this giant babybel. babybelXL

not only am i cheesy, im corny too

Yeah I'm corny??? I'm Midwestern?????

hear me out

fat white opium trade at the shein factory okay okay

just pissed all over betty thefts toilet seat AMA

Why do butts look like that? And by that I mean So Fucking Good

unemployed as fuuuuck (work full time but get off at 2pm the day is mine to enjoy every day)

and yeah helvetikah blak stoole is my favorite drag queen no further questions

cut some mimolette and also put together a bed frame by myself today

martini night okayyyyy

i saw god in this juicy love dion tonight

i’ve been celebrating international women’s day by terrorizing gay men

turns out if you tell one of those 5 am taxis “suck my fucking dick” they’ll just drive you home how fun

who wants to go to wils before belly up 🤩

abc agender bisexual cheesemonger

i’m FREEEEEEE 🤠🤩🤠🤩🤩😭

doing something brave today (walking to get hotpot by myself)

facetiming boo boo KITTY and he’s wearing cat ears and just meowed…

wrote a funny little bio thinking it was just going to my new store and it got sent to the entire midwest

i’m gonna be a cheesemonger again 🤩🤠🤩🤠🫡🫡

luv being the seamstress of the ami’s and the stooles

credit score just went up should i get higher too?

i felt just like ilya rozanov yesterday (hockey player sucked my dick then i went to a nightclub and glared at people)

taking the power back from dom guys by cumming first then making them leave

stealing from chanel yall need anything?

neutral genas family tree is a circle

i actually had a great night but laying on my friends couch alone in a thong with no pants or shirt to my name isn’t exactly a kii