If the Van is Halen, let your stereo be wailin' If the Van is Jones, oh, what now, is he crying or trying make Bill Maher think he's cool, uh, phones

waiting for someone to complain that Jane Goodall did nothing to fight prejudice against AI

one of the comedians going to the Riyadh festival has the chance to do the funniest thing ever

@vurnt22.bsky.social anxiety here in Oregon. trip to the record store helped calm the nerves

every day, a new right wing grifter, like so many Lassies, Benjis and Limu Emus

Comey should just try to blend into the curtains again.

was Childish Gambino really the first name to be generated? or did it first spit out Spartacus Vomit and Donald said, uhhh...

life is starting to feel like the end of Elden Ring, just one boss fight after another

there are probably worse things than being haunted by the ghost of Marvin Hamlisch

Garygarry Gary Gary

my AI stir-fry pan, the E-Wok, is ready for some demo testing

hey, what's going on with left shark?

Tom Clancy's Eat, Pray, Love

what would Al Pacino's life have been if were named Nino?

Why does Clark Kent bother with the Superman outfit? I mean, guy flying around, picking up busses, we get it, right?

Sure, smoking is bad, but no one will ever be as healthy as this album cover is cool.

just out here making Russ Hanneman look sober and thoughtful

giving up hope

It's time we all face it: "I Can't Drive 55" sucks.

LIFE HACK: If you've ever been in a play that wasn't on Broadway, you can legally say you've been in an off-Broadway production

Saw the trailer for Nobody 2. Mid-fight, Bob Odenkirk actually says the line, "I'm on vacation!" This feels like a bigger letdown of Mr. Show's legacy than Jay Johnston storming the Capitol.

haven't watched the Billy Joel documentary but I assume the word 'subtext' is never said

So, the best joke in the Spinal Tap 2 trailer is the 'these go to eleven' clip from the first movie. Blerg.

My Fantastic Four

was Frank Deford the only trustworthy guy with slicked back hair?

Proverb: A penny saved is a penny earned. Antiverb: A penny is a penny.

Pick up your Bible, loser, we're going to Hooters.

Nick? Scott. Nick. Scott? Nick? Scott. Nick. Scott? Nick? Scott. Nick. Scott? Nick? Scott. Nick? Scott. Nick. Scott? Nick? Scott. What? Sorry, just over here wondering who is the worst Adams.

People are people So, why should it be The WiFi doesn't work in this one bedroom?

Yeah, yeah, but when is someone going to introduce a bill officially retiring the 'beginning to think Idiocracy was a documentary' bit?

What's next, a woke Flashdance remake? Where the lead can't just be a dancer, she also has to have a non-feminine job like welder or something?

Climb EVERY mountain? Sorry, hard pass on that one.

you have been visited by "Le Boulanger Quebecois" repost to receive his blessing

Here is my biggest fan on Bluesky:

nominating teal dress for DNC chair

Let's Go to Hell: Scattered Memories of the Butthole Buttholes by James Burns

what?...oh, nothing, just sitting here feeling helpless

Erma Bombeck would NEVER have used ChatGPT.

Never forget.

It's a shame Orson Welles never got to use ozempic.

Man, fuck that guy.

Bad elevator pitch: "We Need to Talk About Kevin, but on a boat."

When you think about it, aren't we all just Josh from 30 Rock?

A co-worker had a guitar on consignment in a shop I worked at. Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P. came in and made an offer on it. I told him the price was firm, the guy was trying to get money for a wedding ring. Blackie didn't buy the guitar.

I read the news today, oh boy.

Goodbye Brian.

It is like we're back in the fifties. People are protesting institutionalized racism, a large segment of the population is, for some reason, worried about communism and CNN is doing its part by bringing back Playhouse 90.

The Thomas Crown Affair, but it's Kid Rock stealing the world's only truck nutz made from solid platinum.