@dunkeltalerzap.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy i finally feel a bit better. can i come to the bunker and play mario kart with you (kel might come too if hes not busy)

beef just showed up to the observatory. i thought he forgot about me

@asokel.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy i think. im ready to talk about what happened. im gonna be in the break room like always

i wish i could just... spew it all out. the sole fact that He is still having me feel like shit after half a decade of being separated from Him is more than enough reasoning for me to do it. but He is such an odd concept to grasp that i might just look.. insane. if im not already

jesus another nightmare

dinner. just reheated some instant ramen and cracked eggs in it and plated it. feels nicer to eat it like that

i keep having nightmares. every night. i see Him and i see the meat surrounding Him. and every time i just have to break Him with my bat over and over again, with all my might. and He always comes back. staring. watching. looming

ok without my toolbox i had to go through the utility closet and. jesus fuck

dinner time. bruschetta with olive oil and the sausages from the mres. and some garlic bread

lunch time. plain pasta with cheese and orange juice. and orange slices

i kinda missed the chaos of being around kel and zap

. oh

oh my god kel tried to eat the fucking meat

i made dinner. scrambled eggs. i hope its not too simple but i don't have the strength

..hi

the chunk CANNOT have moved by itself. theres no way. last time it just twitched, even when i threw it out. it didnt fucking WALK. this is making me sick

THE MEAT INSIDE THE ORANGE KERFUR MOVED

i hate that "sixth sense" i seem to have obtained since coming here. i was sleeping and suddenly woke up because furfurs here now i guess

i think i got a stomach bug dammit

i finished my work early. time to play some games

oh my god i woke up early for once

THEY SENT ME MY MEDS FINALLY

the flour mixture seems to be going nicely. bubbly. means that yeast is there. im gonna leave it for a bit more to be safe

today one of the consoles inside the satellites went down. it was a nice change of pace and also somewhat easier to fix. but then again it was at tango and i had to walk all the way over there. at the opposite side of the fucking trailer park

ok i wont lie. after yesterday its kinda nice and toasty outside. i made sure to be properly covered in case theres some remaining radiation but i just sat on the steps and basked in the warmth for a bit. it was really nice

kels burn was... peculiar. i had to go out for air for a moment. but its all handled now. i used the salve from zero, disinfected and wrapped the wound. he screamed pretty loud so i made the fried rice and also made him a barley coffee latte. he seemed to like it and not hate me so

@asokel.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy im coming over with a medkit. do you want food

...i want potato seeds. i crave my moms potato casserole recipe

being 168cm/5'6 is kinda fun sometimes. people liked picking me up by the back of my shirt like when you pick a cat up by its scruff. at least i dont gotta do shit and walk yknow

wait if i learn how to fish i can try cooked salmon. is it as good as ive been told or is it overhyped

ok. to make a dough with yeast i just need to mix flour and water and let it rest. i have both and i can just leave it in my trailer while i work so we might have something

i made some eggs for lunch with the hotplate and i started crying. god how i love eggs i missed them so fucking much

if anyone wants the recipe for the carbonara i made yesterday: grab as much spaghetti as you need and put them in a pot of boiling water, salted. on the side, if bacon isnt available, use the sausage sticks in the mres, chop them up and cook them a bit in a pan. when theyre crispy, crack a couple-

maybe i should cook more often... they really seemed to like it

man what the fucj its 3.40pm and im stil so tired ughhhj

im tired. pulled another all nighter. again. gonna cuddle with beef and look at my wobbledogs and promptly pass out with my glasses on. again

server fixing at night is booooriiiiing all these things do is complain and buzz to the point im memorising what noises they make when something specific is wrong

i forgot i had wobbledogs installed. check out my son

oh my goodness

valentines day SUCKS thank god i slept through most of it

thia video made me cry a bit i miss their noisy footsteps and their barks even when it was sso late. they were my bestedt friends

beef really likes my plushes. he rubs up on them and purrs so loud

beef really likes coming with me to work. but it makes me a bit nervous because what if he gets hurt or something

after the whole atv debate im kinda curious to try and drive it but my lack of driving skills is probably gonna kill me so i guess im not that curious after all

fighting the intrusive thought to give myself a piercing right now

my nails popped off as i slept :(

i love you, aftonsparv plush

it took me a good minute to realise that since coming here, i improved a bit emotionally. i dont see kel and zap as simple coworkers, theyre.. friends. and i dont mind hanging around them. and i enjoy their company

anyways, progress on the orange kerfur before i pass out.

i may not be posting much but i promise i am not dead or have dissociated for a week and woken up near a satellite (sorry zap)