for some reason they changed my antidepressant dosage when i came to fetch it from the drone today. its 20mg instead of 10mg. i mean i do take 15mg usually so an extra 5mg wont kill me i think. and less chance of depressive episodes i hope

i cant sleep. maybe i should make a cat door for beef. i can make it with an automatic tiny lock so that it locks at a certain time, since beef doesnt seem to like to go out after 9pm

damn i was expecting kel to be awake still. maybe he passed out or hes working his ass off. both options are plausible

happy pride by the way. im genderfluid and some form of asexual and maybe aromantic. not sure. figuring it out. i got all the time in the world i suppose

hi im not dead i promise

fuckkk its so warm ughhh

fucking hell i hate being locked in this cramped ass trailer i cant wait until its night time so i can run around like an idiot and stretch my legs

im bored as fuck @asokel.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy can i come over to cook some stuff

the only thing i can do right now to not let that fucking chunk of metal spy on me is board my windows. but i like the sun. and i dont want beef to just sit in artificial lighting all day

d. do people really think of me and kel like that. huh

oh fuck

its not fair

ugh

i keep feeling like im being watched

boredddd

god i remember when i first joined the aso hq. bao kept undermining me because a "traumatised, half blind kid isnt a good look for the company". well guess what i fixed one of their most important machines in less than a day and that sure as hell shut him up. fuck you bao

i keep having nightmares and that makes me not sleep at night and therefore be shit at my job. sorry if server quality is below par

bagels are done. @asokel.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy @dunkeltalerzap.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy tell me when you guys are free so i can drop em off

i had a nightmare. it was stolas but... scarier. i didnt. like that.

my hands hurt. my arms too.

you wont get them next you ruined me he wont come to you ill save them i have to if i dont hell end up like me i cant have this this cant happen i need to help i need to take matters in my own hands i dont want them to suffer like me they dont deserve it i need to do something i HAVE to do something

good lord boredom never gets easier when youre isolated in the middle of fucking nowhere

man fuck this shit. its saturday and cramps are killing me. im getting high

ohh shit i found one of the old floppies ena let me take

sorry for being dead i am sick (period cramps and fever)

ugghhhhhhh i want chocolate milkkkkkk

fuck i took two sleeping pills yesterday thinking they would make me sleep better but i woke up at 9 and im still fucking tired

did i seriously get wine drunk at 8pm on a friday

durnk

so tired

FUCK MY FAVOYRITE SCREWDRIVER NROKE

i think i just had one of the best ideas in my whole life

man i miss my old friend

THEY TOOK MY PC???? IT WAS AT THE FUCKING TREEHOUSE

θæes mason esœge! θæes frienddi. she ækæghi ro ki. go gutœ hœædæs œguz koœklær ro enuθ otut θæizg deœg θæes mason ækæghi ro ki go gutœ œrku æk θæes kellin uz θæes zap la sirimo

im gonna take a nap. its raining today and thats relaxing me a lot. beef is looking at me like hes telling me ive been working a lot lately and hes right

MAN FUCK THE ONE TIME I TRY TO EAT A FUCKING MRE AND I SLICE MY FINGERTIP OPEN WITH THAT TINNED MEAT BULLSHIT. ITS A SIGN

its weird saying this but getting back to work after all that mess feels so good

i wont lie, i kinda miss cooking for them. id go to kels now but its a long walk and i dont wanna risk seeing any more meat blobs

back at the trailer park. orange kerfur is gone. theres a dried blood puddle going around aimlessly near tr2. im just. going to ignore this before i feel sick again

alright. im gonna head back to the trailer park. ill update once i get back

alright im gonna pack up to leave to go back to the trailer park. before i go i want to make something sweet though

so turns out getting up after a vivid nightmare and going straight towards the mural is not a good idea. i was so shaken up that i threw a full on punch at it and im really really hoping i didnt break anything

ive cleaned up the break room a little bit. no more cups on the floor. i also found some canned foods which im not really fond of myself but maybe kel can eat those instead of mres

another fucking nightmare. i cant go back to sleep. im gonna smoke a cigarette in the garage and prepare to make vincisgrassi so i dont have to rush when i make lunch

mnn.. lazy today. bologna sandwich

@dunkeltalerzap.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy i finally feel a bit better. can i come to the bunker and play mario kart with you (kel might come too if hes not busy)

beef just showed up to the observatory. i thought he forgot about me

@asokel.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy i think. im ready to talk about what happened. im gonna be in the break room like always

i wish i could just... spew it all out. the sole fact that He is still having me feel like shit after half a decade of being separated from Him is more than enough reasoning for me to do it. but He is such an odd concept to grasp that i might just look.. insane. if im not already