I slept like garbage last night: in a plastic bag.

Hey, check that out. One hundred followers. Thanks to all the shell accounts and porn bots on that list. You guys make it all worthwhile. Also, don't use ChatGPT for therapy

Someone please invent an insulin pump but for antihistamines.

Reportable Events, episode 20 Original Post 9/5/2017 "Going into Labor (Day)" In which the float pool experiments with wordplay-based staffing. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

New social anxiety concern: A stranger says hello and you attempt to respond like a normal human only to, like, gulp or something part way through so what comes out is "How [gurgle] going?"

A lot of people are pointing out that Tylenol doesn't lead to autism, but is anyone asking did autism lead to Tylenol?

Preschooler: Here, Papa, take this rubber band. It can be your work bracelet.

Reportable Events, episode 19 Original Post 9/3/2017 "Themes and Schemes and Shooting Stars" In which we ponder companionship in the void. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

I have identified 4 primary types of Writer's Block. Here they are: #writing #writersblock

Reportable Events, episode 18 Original Post 9/1/2017 "Blood Drive Week, Day 5" In which the blood drives wraps up. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

Every day is a new adventure ... because there's so much rapidly shifting construction in town I never know how I'm getting to work on any given day.

Reportable Events, episode 17 Original Post 8/31/2017 "Blood Drive Week, Day 4" In which Jaime gives blood. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

So much happened yesterday! Breaking news from least to most important: President makes most ridiculous connection yet for cause of #Autism. #Kimmel reinstated. #Superman is on streaming. You guys, Superman is on streaming. Do you want to call out from work today and watch it?

I really should stop reading about the Autism announcement and do some work. [Remembers what my job is] Oh right

The cause of Autism turns out to be going more than three days without basking in the warm, nourishing light of Kandrona rays.

Reportable Events episode 16 Original post 8/30/2017 "Blood Drive Week Day 3" In which things are ahead of schedule.

Things I dont get about rapture prep: Why quit your job? If you're going to be rapture, just use up your PTO first. Why sell your car? Do you need the money for last minute carrousing or are you scamming the damned? Neither seems like rapture-worthy behavior

Weekends are exhausting.

It says a lot about me that my phone suggests exorcism before exercise.

Wow. Super useful. So glad I installed the last update.

Reportable Events, episode 15 Original Post 8/29/2017 "Blood Drive Week, Day 2" In which there is a protocol if you feel sick. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

Reportable Events, episode 14 Original Post 8/28/2017 "Blood Drive Week, Day 1" In which red scrubs are totally sweet. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

Haven't done a #WorldBuildingWednesday in a while, so here's a question: Why are Undead a thing? Are they naturally occurring or are they purely the results of bad mojo? Think it through, the implications might have significant ramifications on your Evil? #dnd #d&d #ttrpgs

My preschooler has been fascinated by the concept of monarchy ever since I took him to #NoKings. He's against it but keeps asking questions, perhaps because it flies in the face of basic preschool ethics of sharing and non-violence. Trying to explain politics/history in his terms is a challenge.

Reportable Events, episode 13 Original Post 8/25/2017 "Blood Drive Next Week" In which there are some changes to how donations can be collected. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

Look, I'm not trying to make light of anything that has transpired, but please for the love of god: Someone needs to read these texts like they're a civil war letter in a Ken Burns documentary. Please. Someone has to do that because it's all I hear when I read them.

Reportable Events episode 12 Original post 8/23/2017 "The Beat Thing About Working In East." In which there's a vending machine or something, I don't know. This one's a little weak. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

Preschooler to the baby: "Stop flailing me! I don't want to be flailed!" #parenting

Reportable Events, episode 11 Original post 8/21/2017 "Blogging the Eclipse" In which Jaime sells cookies and tries their hand at live blogging #flashfiction #ReportableEvents #eclipse

Best new LLM metaphor? Best new LLM metaphor.

It is very, very hard to get people to *not* see AI where there is none, and this should be entirely expected of a species that can stub its toe on something then act like the inanimate object did it on purpose.

Danny Concannon in my head: "Does the president think 90% of Americans died last year?" Press Secretary: "Well, er" Danny Concannon in my head: "Does the president know how many Americans there are?"

Working inpatient I had a patient who had just started hearing voices. Early 20s. No past history of psychosis. Career, family, the works. (Cant remember if he had a reported major life stressor other than, you know, career, family, etc.)

Make a band singular: That Might Be a Giant

Reportable Events, episode 10 Original Post 8/19/2017 "What Dreams May Go" In which everything is normal, stop asking so many questions. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents

A line for line remake of Hamilton except the main character is named Chupacabra Peloton.

Wait, his dad turned him in? There was a 100k reward. Does his dad get that? So let's say you're a kid with no prospects, and your family is in debt. Economic downturn and no way to make enough money. You are a decent shot, though... I think I'm about to write the darkest short story ever...

Guinea pig should be pronounced like cuneiform.

Breaking news: they caught the guy. Turns out Luigi did this one too.

apropos of this, people who want to sound smart are like "READ THE ART OF WAR BRO ITS SO IMPORTANT BRO" and if you actually read it Sun Tzu is like "do not rely on your army stealing food from the locals. there won't be enough and they will revolt on you. bring your own food. this is important"

Reportable Events, episode 9 Original Post 8/18/2017 "Total Eclipse of the Staff Meeting" In which plans are laid for celestial convergence #flashfiction #ReportableEvents #eclipse

You know those murder mysteries where everyone has a motive?

Just a quick thanks to the @bsky.app team for creating a bookmarks feature just days before there were going to be a lot of posts I wanted to save but really didn't want to like.

Reportable Events, episode 8 Original Post, 8/17/2017 "A Beginner's Guide to Libra Hospital" In which we set our scene. #flashfiction #ReportableEvents #nursing

So, uh, has anyone been to hhs.gov recently? It is wild. Looking at the Wayback Machine, it used to be a banal collection of government links to programs, services, fact sheets, etc. Now it's just huge glossy pictures of RFK. Like JUST that. Again, wild.

Shout out to everyone sharing their stories about their own experiences with suicidal thoughts. The more we share stories like this, the less stigma there is and the less stigma there is, the more people in crisis find it easier reach out. Sharing your story could save someone's life.

For World Suicide Prevention Day, I'd like to call attention to one of the unsung heroes of mental health: Cats #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

All you folks out there whining about your Imposter Syndrome are super annoying to those of us who are actual frauds.

Reportable Events, episode 7 Original Post 8/16/2017 "Night Shift in East" In which a normal night passes and Jaime apologizes for using jargon #flashfiction #nursing #ReportableEvents

Reportable Events, Episode 6 Original Post 8/14/2017 "Return to Sender" In which mail comes directly to a nurses station for some reason. #ReportableEvents #flashfiction #nursing