One for the youngsters maybe, but this is an 80 year old Dutch woman who went on Holland Got Talent as a church organist. Shes now doing hard trance festivals.

Remember when we were about to spunk £40m on Rodrigo Muniz? #lufc

As a Leeds supporter of 40+ years of age - I am shocked. Shocked that for months, we pinpointed the home games vs wolves and Burnley at the end of the season as glorious opportunities to pick up wins… And we actually did it!! Both of them!! That is not how it works?!! #lufc

I also hope to god we don’t have a stupid release clause for Stach. #lufc

I don’t want to jinx this, but when was the last scandal a Leeds player was involved in? Ethan’s fruity language at the parade? Or Ross McCormacks fly-tipping? Who was the last one to have a tear-up in Top Yates’s? The no-dickheads culture at the club seems to be deeply embedded. #lufc

Staying up with 3 games left, beating scum away and an actual FA cup run and getting to Wembley. Doing Chelsea in, upsetting Liverpool (twice). It hasn’t been perfect, but with odds stacked against promoted sides so badly… What a fucking season! #lufc

Spurs are done. West Ham have improved since Feb and will pick up points. No way in hell Tottenham win 3 games. They have richarlison up front. And that’s it. Plus several very good defensive midfielders but can’t pass. Plus all the others who clearly want out. And Archie Gray. Gone. #lufc

Sky sports news have just shown a caption of the bottom of the league. We weren’t on it. Job done. Cake and coffee all round. #lufc

Elland Road did me proud. What a dickhead he is.

I think DCL will end up with 14/15 goals. And that would be an incredible return for a crippled free signing that nobody else would touch. If the club took a gamble - it’s paid off big time. Shout-out to Nmecha too - a great (free) understudy who has come up with big goals. #lufc

I remember 3 years ago, we played #thfc on the last day with Sam Allardyce in charge. The spurs fans taking the piss as they scored goal after goal and cemented our relegation… Hmm…we may have an opportunity to taste something incredibly delicious. The most delectable of treats. #lufc

Good luck to all the youngsters stood on Elland Road calling their mums for a lift after an ice hockey game that finished at exactly the same time. Thats gonna be a loooong night! #lufc

Also - aaronson had a chance. DCL had a chance. But the one for me was Tanakas - ball dropping 15 yards out on the volley. No challenge. Fluffed. Bugger. #lufc

Also. Chelsea. Absolute scabs. Down tools to get the manager you don’t like out and then as if by magic - effort? Running, trying, tackling? If I were a Chelsea fan I’d be fuming with all of them. Very good players - should be challenging for the league but they didn’t like the manager so down tools

Home. Am I going to be a psychopath and watch MOTD? Why would I do this? #lufc

I would estimate that 50% of travellers on this train are not on the correct train. Good luck to the lad asleep and possibly sat in his own wee in King’s Cross McDonald’s aswell. Godspeed. #lufc

Bastard bloody football. Just one bastard bloody goal Leeds. Even if we lost 3-1 - just somebody give us that moment!!! #lufc

🎶 He can play for Holland, he can play for Belgium too, he can play for indonesia but he’ll never play for you… He plays for Leeds United, and that is what we like - he wears the number 5 and his name is Pascal Struijk 🎶 #lufc

Anyone got any good pubs near Wembley? Haven’t thought that far ahead! #lufc

On the way to Wembley. For some reason left my daughter in charge of refreshments. #lufc

Right then. If you could choose one player to be the hero on Sunday, one player to score a 94th minute winner - who are you having? I’m going Willy Gnonto. Love that little scamp. Seems to have been very patient and not been an arse. Who would you choose and why? #lufc

This weekend, I’ve got two weddings and an fa cup semi final at Wembley. The funeral will be for my bank account.

We’re closer to Europe than we are relegation…points-wise. #lufc

Few of the lads here playing like they really don’t want an injury. Understandable. #lufc

Free hit for me this one. Point would be nice, 3 unreal, 0 not the end of the world thanks to last week. Just for the love of god Leeds - NO INJURIES! #lufc

Went past this. Several cars involved and at least two on fire - big style - hope everyone was out and safe.

I hope everyone involved in Monday Night Football has a lovely time and enjoys themselves. Apart from that Canvot idiot. That one’s gone in the book. #lufc

Did I see Chelsea’s best centre back go off injured yesterday holding his ribs? 👀 #lufc

This is a list of things I want to see from our final 5 games… 1. Hannibal getting 90 minutes of turbo-grief. Both from the baying crowd, and 16 players taking turns to get yellows smashing him all over Beeston. I’d take a red or two aswell. End. #lufc

That Xavi Simons chap. Devastated at full time. Inconsolable. Get the feeling that’s because he wasn’t the hero of the story in the end, rather than the team losing 2 points keeping them in the bottom 3.

Two down…

Here is my most controversial football opinion. A drum at Wembley starting the songs/chants would get the crowd going and create an atmosphere. Everyone is everywhere. All the madheads are spread out. It never gets going. (Disclaimer - I don’t care and would never accept a drum). #lufc

Pleased for Coventry. Frank Lampard can get fucked though.

We haven’t scored at home since February 6th. Calvert-Lewin’s chested effort vs Forest. I would like that to be sorted tomorrow please #lufc

My Instagram feed seems to be on a mad one. Loads of AI infused clips of “this mum gets £6k a month on benefits” and “this African family got £3k dental work on the NHS”. Odd. Almost like the billionaires are a bit worried. Sadly, the comments seem to be lapping it up.

I’m just astonished that in over 2 hours of football between Bayern and Real Madrid, there hasn’t been a penalty.

Anyone else struggling to track the ball at times in this Bayern game? Heavy black panels on it aren’t helping when someone twats it!

IF we beat wolves, we would then be in the delicious position of underdogs in the semi final - but with no real risk of needing to hold off cos we need our lads for the run in. For the first time ever, we could play at Wembley with zero pressure. #lufc

Anyone watching Set Piece FC needs go give their head a wobble - this Bayern/Real game is insane!

Hmm. Manuel Neuer appears to have been at Berghain for 3 days.

It’s that time of the season where I’m praying Harry Kane gets away unscathed. Or it’s Ollie Watkins or Danny Welbeck up front this summer.

Wembley tickets secured. Train sorted - there’s still a few seats going from Doncaster if you’re quick. #lufc

Posting this every day until it’s heard on the trains and coaches going to Wembley! If you can’t place the tune, google ‘left right Dutch fans song’ #lufc

🎶 He can play for Holland, he can play for Belgium too, he can play for indonesia but he’ll never play for you… He plays for Leeds United, and that is what we like - he wears the number 5 and his name is Pascal Struijk 🎶 #lufc

I can see a scenario where we are safe, and the final day sees west ham needing to win. Mmm…tasty. We are at our best when we are spoiling parties and being right horrible cnuts! Fancy dress final day pyro party? #lufc

I thoroughly enjoyed that time James Justin walloped Cunha into the advertising boards, leaving him crying in the little ditch. Sexy. #lufc

“It should have been ten, it should have been tennn…you lucky bastards, it should have been ten”!!!

One down…

Is it good or bad to have a pain across the right side of my chest? #lufc