The BBC are accidentally running the subtitles to Mrs Marple over the Mercury Prize, and it’s rather wonderful. A few of lines could plausibly have been written by Jarvis.

Alert, all fans of Forged in the Dark & CBR+PNK - You're almost out of time to back a new CBR+PNK hack called Echoes of the Veil. Help 'em smash those stretch goals! www.kickstarter.com/projects/the...

It's 20 yrs today that I was in a cafe on the shores of Loch Ness and my mate ordered a toasted teacake. The waitress asked my exasperated southern friend to clarify. "A teacake cut in half, grilled and buttered? Are you sure?' The Tunnocks that came out was like a horror from Doctor Who.

solidarity with anyone who got that weather alarm on their phone and totally shat it ✨✌️