when i say that i yelped in shock at this kid’s sign

I’m thinking of reaching out my hand to pierce the gossamer veil that separates the world of the living from the howling abyss 👻 🎃

Complain all you want about Trump but without him we never would’ve found out the truth about Amelia Earhart.

Most people know Jane Goodall as the first woman to successfully bring a human/chimp hybrid pregnancy to term, but she was also a talented and highly respected researcher.

“Well, this is his third strike so yes ma’am you unfortunately are going to have to come pick him up. Yes ma’am he’s being asked to leave for the day. He’ll be waiting for you in the office. Oh no. I understand. You too. Bye now.”

Yeah we tried to have a revolution in 2011 but most of y’all stayed home and let us get beaten and gassed by militarized police. 14 years ago. And you fucking dipshits didn’t listen.

New evidence photos released by FBI are definitive proof that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone gunman in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Boss asking me to write our public statements 😏 consequently they now contain phrases like “espouses the dangerous delusion that the looming catastrophe can simply be left in the invisible hands of the market – an act of dumb faith that would leave us plummeting into the abyss.”

Omg. More leaked texts from the assassin.

Listen… I’m not a conspiracy theorist but… you can’t really expect me to believe this is real.

I work in an Utah mortuary and don’t want to disclose the name of the business for obvious reasons but… I took a little bite out of Charlie Kirk 😏 They’ll never find it either. You can’t see it from the outside.

I work in an Utah mortuary and don’t want to disclose the name of the business for obvious reasons but… I took a little bite out of Charlie Kirk 😏 They’ll never find it either. You can’t see it from the outside.

Charlie Kirk’s wife told their daughter that her father had to die because she ate too many blueberries.

Charlie Kirk’s wife told their daughter that her father had to die because she ate too many blueberries.

When you get a not guilty, the Δ is taken back to jail for processing before release so you never get to see that moment when they walk out free. Today bc the DA fucked up transport, I got to be the one who met my client at the door and there are no words to describe how it felt.

I won a trial so hard the prosecutor is getting fired and Charlie Kirk is currently being consumed by his body’s own bacterial flora. Great week.

Trial’s over! Now I can finally enjoy the exsanguination of Charlie Kirk.

This is what experts call “within the Kirk zone”

RIP Charlie Kirk

HitlerSuckfest1488: "This has radicalized me."

Nooo where are you going we just want to talk ☺️

I’m in awe that someone can be such a extinction level piece of shit that getting their throat blown apart in cold blood elicits not an inkling of sympathy. Even conservatives don’t seem authentically sad about it.

[shudders]

You never see this kind of honesty in a transaction anymore.

This is not a woman. This is the dismembered torso of a child.

Quietly but eagerly anticipating a movie whose log line seems to be “What if The Descent was also Jaws?”

they lost some detail from the glaze but they look shiny and beautiful, i love how the color changed #athf

I made a prosecutor cry today 🥰

It’s going to be extremely funny when they autopsy RFK Jr. and a bunch of bugs just come spilling out like the Oogie Boogie Man.

“He’s a good dog, just weirdly obsessed with the AKC dog shows. And he can recite all of Lassie’s lines from memory. And he does. A lot.”

“He’s a good dog, just weirdly obsessed with the AKC dog shows. And he can recite all of Lassie’s lines from memory. And he does. A lot.”

Not today. But soon.

Something is wrong with him. I suspect his LASIKS have stopped working and they’re using both ultrafiltration and IV diuretic therapy to keep him alive, hence the swelling, the IV bruising, the distorted appearance, etc. I don’t think he’ll see the midterm elections.

BREAKING White House sources report that President Donald J. Trump, 47th President of the United States, has died at the age of 79. His final words as aides and family looked on were “Big… big beautiful cock… Daddy? Daddy Roy? I’m ready daddy… got the best pastrami sandwich…”

if you haven’t watched the adam friedland show interview with ritchie torres you absolutely should. he really confronts him on his sycophantic support of isreal, and this end “hot mic” clip to me is so revealing

they’ll just move him to a different parish and he’ll do it again

Once again, we are in the midst of the worst, most unprecedented Article I constitutional crisis in 🇺🇸 history

We’re no longer living in Idiocracy. We’re now living in a Local 58 video.

One day I’m gonna wear Scott Jennings’s face like a skin mask.

Just got told a historic building downtown needs to be demolished bc it’s “an ice whore”

Are you looking for some down home traditional southern comfort food? Come to our delicious old timey restaurant: Honky Bucket

Thinking of him.

Oh that? Thats just my bro. He’s a leopard. He doesn’t like all the attention tho so don’t make it into a big thing.

I could give Jubilee their highest viewer count ever. I can promise my video will be all over every major news network afterward. They’ll teach about it in schools.

I leapt in front of a car to stop it from crossing a picket line, so unfortunately I have no doubts about whether I’m mentally ill enough to give my life for you morons.

Showing up to the meeting of the World Trade Organization and having to be escorted off property by police and having all my poppers confiscated because of a little misunderstanding.

Grok is going apeshit on the other app.

It’s time. Whoever is out there wondering or waiting for a sign… Do it. Now. Before it’s too late.

Arresting Mamdani is the line for us right? He does that and it’s time for the big shenanigans yeah?