A timely reminder that 1. There’s a load of misinformation on here and 2. Police have since the beginning of policing found themselves in the middle of disputes. Let them get on with their job and stop using these types of films to further your hate.

Someone suggested to me recently that bystander approaches don't work. I dug deeper and it was clear that the the training they provided wasn't motivating action. Heres why many bystander type approaches 'fail to launch' grahamgoulden.com/2025/09/22/w...

Took a break but back. If you doubt what I do take a look. Oh and I got a tattoo r-login.wordpress.com/remote-login...

Great points @mrjamesob.bsky.social Do the media drive our readings and focus or does society drive the agenda. I’m concerned about the number of cyber attacks just now. Are you? Do we need to be talking more about this topic? If we do would the media report more?

Important words from Timpson. Focus requires to be on those around victims and those who commit harm. When a culture instils a responsibility to act science says they will act early when harm is seen. Peer intervention is a tool to be considered

This weeks #SundayThread Every contact leaves a trace. Those in policing will recognise this saying. This principle is foundational in forensic science, as it implies that evidence is left behind in every interaction.

I heard this piece earlier on the @mrjamesob.bsky.social show. It was emotional, raw, to the point and the sort of leadership that’s needed at this time. It made me stop the car and listen to every word.

What if? In #Adolescence What if Jamie’s friend Ryan had the tools and confidence to stop his friend. In this blog i look at the drama through the eyes of the bystander. grahamgoulden.com/2025/04/09/f...

For me the learning from #Adolescence is for adults not the kids in school. Some suggestions 1. Parents remember the internet is a place not a thing. 2. Coaches/teachers role model respect/kindness 3. All, be curious & ask questions 4. All, Address misogyny quickly 5. Correct misperceptions

Natasha is in the mark here. Adolescence has created a whole load of empathy in our society. It’s clearly a drama society needs to engage with but leave it out of schools. How we engage boys in these issues is so crucial. It’s not simply about educating. Engagement comes first.

This weeks #SundayThread Snitches get stitches. I’m surprised I haven’t talked about this before. In a lot of my work I often ask groups to share the perceptions of people in orgs who report poor behaviour. I’m often met with terms such as snitch, grass, troublemaker.

To think differently, learn to see differently. Seeing differently is a way of countering built-in tendency to sink in to the familiar way of seeing and experiencing. It may be hard but move through discomfort. Once there help others to do the same. Never force them.

I wrote this to highlight a need for us to move beyond a good v evil discussion when talking about male violence grahamgoulden.com/2025/03/24/t...

This weeks #SundayThread A need for role models. I read this week about the speech given by @GarethSouthgate at the recent #RichardDimbleby lecture. He talked about a need for role models for men beyond online male influencers.

Radical action or evidence based responses. We know what works but we seldom follow what works Adolescence writer calls for 'radical action' not role models www.bbc.com/news/article...

What if we invested in the right conversations on challenges faced by YP. The biggest influence on a person isn’t themselves it’s peers. We must help young people see that their views and stresses are shared by the many not the few. A ban creates fear but won’t stop the issue

It’s also about giving young men the skills to be role models in their peers groups. The biggest influence on a persons behaviour isn’t themselves or the famous person. It’s their peers.

John is spot on here. Mkte wirk needed to better engage boys on these issues. The topic of my #SundayThread today bsky.app/profile/grah...

The power and influence of unity. The movement grows.

This weeks #SundayThread Beware wolves in sheep’s clothing Matthew 7:15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. Last weekend I spoke with @matthew-wright.bsky.social about male influencers & their skill of sucking men into toxic conversations

When addressing harm I’ve come to a simple conclusion. Calling out assumes the worst. Calling in creates the environment needed to prevent the worst.

This is so true. The stress created in the world is leading to a lot of disregulated people out there. It is seen in different ways and includes how men see their lives. For me this is why we all need to 1. Be mindful of situation and 2. Work to better engage. Meet men where they are at.

This weeks #SundayThread Notice - Decide - Act. In 1960’s 2 social scientists studied the actions of bystanders. What led people to move from a passive role to an active one. A 5 step process was identified. 1 Notice 2 See emergency 3 Take responsibility 4 Decide response 5 Act

It was a pleasure today to speak with @matthew-wright.bsky.social on @lbc.co.uk about Andrew Tate. My view is we need a more positive conversation with men. Most don’t support Tate. Many don’t realise that their mates think as they do. We even managed to discuss right wing political strategy.

Correcting misperceptions is key. The research suggests most men don’t support T@te but the way he’s portrayed suggests most men do. This starting point is a big mistake and actually leads men who don’t support him feeling they need to (to fit in)

Spot on from Natasha. We need to support boys and young men. Many don’t support his misogynistic views. That’s our in

We’ve seen this occur in what’s app groups in likes of police and fire. When we remain passive we signal acceptance. This may mean others move from watching to harming. It’s a progression and a consequence of one’s inaction.

Jacob is spot on when he talks about planting seeds. Measuring success is hard but his work will be impacting on behaviours of others. Helping friends be better friends is key. @mrjamesob.bsky.social

Powerful interview between @mrjamesob.bsky.social and Jacob Dunne who punched someone who died. Can’t help but think of the misplaced loyalty that often exists in male groups. Back up a mate no matter what. When we redefine loyalty we help prevent such events.

Jason posed some excellent questions in this conversation. I really got a chance to open up the throttle and talk about something that is both misunderstood and underused. If curious grab a coffee and take a listen.

James - that was a powerful report on Scotland’s badge of shame. I would recommend we all listen to this report and think what can we all do to look out for those at risk.

IMO not a helpful comment from a former officer. Remember officers already have to report colleagues in such cases. More the question is how do Police Scotland motivate officers to act earlier as well as ensuring those who do report feel supported www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/scottis...

As well as tools to act men unfortunately require to feel support from other men. Many men still wrong perceive that other men think. Correcting misperceptions is therefor crucial. I asked this of colleague Alan Berkowitz recently. youtu.be/HKwCfFJZJhg?...

This weeks #SundayThread Caging The Gorilla. This week I’ve been skiing in France. The other night I found myself eavesdropping a fascinating conversation about human decision making when stressed. The men were fighter pilots. I introduced myself & we kept talking

Safe out and safe in. Great weeks skiing in Val D’Isere with my daughter. So grateful for this time with her.

When you look for helpers you will find them. When you find them you will be inspired by them. When you help you complete the circle.

The power of kindness 1. You make someone else feel better 2. You feel better 3. People who see your kindness feel better and inspired to be kind. Circle complete

The use of the term “knife crime” isn’t helpful. It focuses society on the weapon not the mindset. Yesterday’s sentencing of the young man for the murders of the 3 young girls for me highlighted a complete lack of empathy. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Nicely put Mark. Do we reinforce stereotypes in our daily language. The human condition is complex enough without more confusion.

Empathy is a key trait of moral rebels. This weekend #TheStarOfTheShow paused to remember the village snowman. Empathy isn’t innate, it can be trained.

When you tell someone they are wrong you haven’t won the argument. How do you know you’re right. Surely the point of the discussion is to influence another person. Help them see what you see. Maybe even see what they see. Lots of that recently on topic of masculinity.

When one person takes charge it’s likely others will follow. Here’s a great example of the power of one In action. A young lost boy quickly reunited with his dad. youtu.be/yj79zMUbFRs?...

I often ask this question of those I work with. In our lives we develop a moral compass. It may come from parents, wider family, teacher, sports coach or a combination of all. Surely we owe it to them not to ever forget to use it when we witness injustice or harm.

I wonder when we will see an article that discusses something other than how bad it is. Of course an org response is needed but importantly what is needed one that is linked to 2 strengths of policing - teamwork and loyalty. Creating community/ social connections within is vital but seldom discussed

An interesting take on filming for fun & how it can fuel an escalation in behaviour. This is why catching small problems before they spiral out of control to cause more harm is a crucial component in violence reduction work. www.michigandaily.com/arts/b-side/... @chiefsuptleeberry.bsky.social

This weeks #SundayThread - Why we don’t act. This past couple of weeks an unsettling story was told in US media. A man set fire to a random woman on a New York subway train. Sadly the woman died & it appears other passengers simply stood & watched failing to help

See that smile, the thank you or the well done. Don’t under estimate its power when used with a colleague or friend. This ‘therapeutic dose” is a great buffer helping another deal with ongoing stress in their lives. It’s good for you as well as you get a hit of oxytocin as well

Up in Inverness for a couple of days. Met Davy as a cop when working with VRU in 2011. Kept in touch ever since. That’s dry January goosed then.

A Better message. Crime gangs are exploiting a lack of hope and the impact of early years trauma to recruit young people.

For this weeks #SundayThread A lesson from #GavinAndStaceyFinale Like many of you I tuned into watch the last ever show of this iconic comedy show. Over the years I’ve laughed at & admired the friendship between characters Smithy and Gavin. I’ve also learned (Spoiler alert)