i make that pussy look like club penguin (depreciated due to the lack of support for adobe flash)

the us left the who? the we left the what? the them left the why? etc.

i worked at cern for a while as a frotting specialist. i was chief architect of the large hardon collider.

she cant match my freak i got a piping quirk yuh

ai could never do to me what i did to myself

hair in the can of pringles. i feel like im welcoming a traveller to the bar at the end of the road, ready to serve them while they tell me how they came to end up in this place.

we will make martyrs and they will fail to make them. we control the language. we control the rhythm. we will be victorious

they are accountable to blunt force trauma.

the omly truth lies in how they hurt you. if you cant feel anything, you are part of the problem. and the only solution is to hurt in return.

life is about watching the e6 tag get randomly exponentially bigger and trying to work out what prompted it

dry humping a bag of doritos

farted the wrong way on a metal chair and it blew my entire digestive system out my mouth

my body is a machine that turns the days into weeks into months and there comes a point when all i can do is look back at it all and weep for what i have lost

me and god are in a "who can be least happy with me" competition and ill be pressed if i let that jumped up littlr deity fuck around

rigging my scrotal flesh with motors and screws so that when an insect lands on it it closes up and consumes the insect, creating cum

but information is king. not only as a tool to convince, but a tool to sturdy ourselves against what is coming in the future.

what's the best "guide" you've ever read? thread

Having had some time to ruminate on KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR, I gotta tell you, Uma Thurman is electric. I didn’t appreciate it enough at the time of release but god damn. She’s acting her ass off the whole time and looking incredible doing it.

you know that scene at the end of prisoners where hes driving towards the hospitsl. i judt had that scene as a dream except jake gylenhall was in full leather and he was desperately rushing to find a public bathroom before i realised hes got scary eyes

honestly i dont think its possible for me to be less crazy about this franchise. shout out to american filmmaking in the last 90s.

i could never play fnaf 4 as a kid cos everytime the jumpscares went off i produced all possible bodily fluids and ejected them from my orifices at max speed like a fire hydrant.

fuck... she's right...

lets go throw hockey pucks through the window of that care home

why would you call it that

bluesky so funny cos despite my best interests its now all furry porn and like one guy swimming in a sea of outrageously large penises trying to tell me about how the water cycle is fucked

having a pool toy fetish so funny to me cos its like how did you even get that. did you sit on one wrong as a child. can anyone explain.

ogh my hart

they dont know it but life is really about trying to dispose of a medium slice loaf of wholemeal bread by pushing it down the plughole of a bathroom sink

i dont even hate guinness i quite like it but come on guys youve got to recognise how bad it looks in combination with the flannel and cargo shorts. we all know ur reddit is unfathomable.

we ran out of guinness at the pub today shocking news for perfomative male feminists

guinness: the drink of men who look bisexual but secretly hold racist beliefs.

huel made me gassy so i cut the cheese and it coated my pants in metallic spray paint

thought i might send some random thoughts I had about the UK's no coffee refill law, because it is insane to me how many people i've heard moaning about it without understanding the purpose of it

APOLOGISE TO THE UNIVERSE FOR THE MESS YOU HAVE MADE OF YOURSELF!!! YOU ARE UNORDERED SENSATION IN MEATLY FORMATION!!!!

using a tight combination of paracetemol and dehydration to build a pantone colour board of all the yellows using my pee

this is homestuck we clown in this mfer take your sensitive ass back to hazbin

i have this massive evil tattoo of rosa parks on my back that tells me to kick lampposts and pee on gravestones

christmas day i woke up with a boner called that shit my yule log i fucked up a whole ass pizza in 4 minutes today shit was craaazyyy

is "listens to one specific genre of metal that always kind of sucks" a manager green flag or red flag

top queer tips: if you live in a house with tgirls on hrt remember to collect their urine in a large vat. it can be distilled into a gently perfumed syrup for its magical healing properties.

i shouldnt have googled the lion king

ikea makes me so horny ngl

great account

guitar hero/ddr/beatmania peeps: are there any good custom pcb mini keyboard controllers or general controllers that work as two handed controllers? im looking for something non specialised that i can use for a variety of games that works without a desk. #guitarhero #ddr #beatmania

the media response to israel's genocide is going to fracture so much faith in trusted media to the point i wouldnt be surprised if it creates a longlasting uptick in misinformation from across the left.

the first gamer president of the united states

genuinely quite fascinated by this a24 adaptation, given how much this story shifts and how constant elon has become to political and cultural discussions. might actually read the biography to get a feel for how the shape of the narrative might play out

mama dont cry for me im goin to a better place now

vox post written by 35 year old titled 'gen z has invented a new type of word called a "slurlet" - heres the lowdown' and the whole article is written from the perspective of a friendly vole who lives by the riverbank with all his animal friends

do you think luigi ever has to quietly crank one out on the bottom bunk while marios asleep