Spencer Pratt after losing:

Chuckling because Spencer Pratt promised he’d move if he lost.

“Everything is legal in New Jersey”

lol one of my old coworkers(retired military but still works for the Fed Gov) randomly calls/text to complain. He’s very against NYC opening government run grocery stores. Meanwhile he shops at *checks notes* the commissary on post because it’s cheaper?

GTA 6 ruining the release date. It’s like when T swift has a release date and other people push their album releases back. Like dang I can do both.

🎶 Paved paradise and put up a *checks notes* UFC fighting cage?

I miss the period of time where the news did fact checks 24/7. That sh*t was funny.

Okay it seems like @paralives.com doesn’t have much of a Bluesky presence. If they’re willing to give me early (earlier) access I’ll do a full Bluesky review before it releases next week.

Recession indicator: increase increase in people registered to sit for the lsat

Kind of sad my kid is getting fed ai slop for “brain breaks” at school

The reflecting pool rendering looks like the pool from Big, Fat Liar. Very fitting for him to pick that shade.

These Canvas hackers are actually stupid criminals. If they were smart they would have posted that they’d change everyone’s grades to an A and delete all course material if students raised X amount before the ransom was paid.

I asked my 5 year d who else in his class can read and he started crying and saying “none of us know how to read!”…but he literally reads books everyday at home without help

Kind of obsessed with the guy who is crowdsourcing pledges to make a bid for Spirit Airlines. (Yes I did pledge)

I’m honestly really jealous of countries who have good EVs and who are making a huge push to renewables. We’re going to be left with ruined land and expensive fuel/bills because we’ve got dumb “alpha males” running everything.

I have such bad chronic back pain that my eyes instantly perked up watching The Pitt when they realigned guys spine. Instantly asked my husband to do the same thing and he refused. I just think it would fix me

Now why did the new Disney CEO lay off one of the head DEI managers?

I feel like it’s dumb to tip the lady $100 when you have the power to just grant universal healthcare so she doesn’t have to pay for her husbands cancer treatment.

Open to any and all book suggestions for my kindergartener since reading has finally clicked for him.

I keep staring at the lamp praying it starts to look funny.

Protest sign that I just passed by: “Trump ain’t right” 😂 my country ass southern town is so funny

Imagine waking up from a coma and looking at a picture of the White House right now. You’d never guess that it was just randomly torn down

Now where else have I seen someone at a press conference in the White House deny having sexual relations with someone…

Art of the deal but it’s just him finger painting with his own sh*t

Threatening nuclear war and genocide and we're just showing up for our stupid little jobs to respond to stupid little emails.

Going to need to up the dosage of my anxiety meds to make it through this sh*tshow.

Me with my new running vest: wow this is so cool it comes with a whistle attached Me 5 seconds later:Oh…a woman must have designed this.

I have missed my calling. I also arm chair diagnosed a hair tourniquet on a baby on another episode.

Watching episode one of The Pitt. I immediately armchair warrior diagnosed the patient with rhabdo. If the army taught me anything it’s people getting rhabdo and almost croaking.

Did you know you can just buy communion wafers? Like nothing is stopping you. Every now and then I use my free will to buy some altar bread.

The movie WALL-E can’t exist in this timeline because of GLP1s

Crazy that the new Disney CEO’s almost second day in seat he yanks The Bachelorette. This has to be an all time crazy first 48 hours.

My husband said he wants to go back to college when our kids are in college…literally the plot of an extremely goofy movie

Now why would they say that man is too tall when anyone can go on Al Gore’s internet and look up the height of current West Point Basketball players (and past players who are actively serving)?

First time voting in person because I’m not longer in the military and man I messed up my ballot the first time. When I redid my ballot I walked to the table and was like “you’re never going to believe this” and they were like “you messed up again?!?!”

You know I feel different with my DD214 but it’s really irritating me that my peers about to be used as cannon fodder.

These people are so incredibly stupid.

Shout out to the person who told me to buy Rolls Royce stock when it cratered during covid. I’ll never forget you.

HR: “Did you say and I quote “State of my Ass” in your Bluesky post about the SOTU address?”

Literally one of the few times it’s clutch to be from Fayetteville iykyk

Thinking about how the Army scrubbed my why I joined story because of “woke” or whatever but my Alma mater just featured someone’s story who *checks notes* got booted for an honor violation where he said someone in his family died and it was actually his CAT!

Okay that was a beautiful set

I’m sure Bush is keeping his trap shut because he’s actually stoked to not be considered the worst president of the 21st century.

Convinced my dad is plotting against me because he fed my toddlers cookies before nap time.

I deleted TikTok over a year ago and my husband just asked me if I’m back on because TikTok said that I am…

Weird that Ronaldo’s wife attended Melania’s screening at the WH.

Anyone else concerned about the fact that they not only let a murderer go but reassigned him to god knows where else? There’s a killer on the loose.

Checked in with my old republican coworker and yeah we’re cooked. Even with video evidence “Idk I think he did and he may have gone for it. I support law enforcement. I error in the side of the officers “

Has an assignment about how technology has changed society and I wrote about how it has accelerated the exploitation of human labor and I’ve been sweating bullets because it’s a new professor. Just got my grade back and got an A.