Reminder that Joe Biden could have released the Epstein files and helped the dems win 2024 but for the fact that elite dems are all over the files as well and protecting them is more winning than stopping fascism.

Bill Clinton has the opportunity to call for a press conference right now and say something absolutely hilarious.

It's not just that he's a pedophile, he was the least popular pedophile

me being interviewed by my grandkids about the Woke Era, the brief period of prosperity before the fall of the American empire, and what it was like under the reign of the last great American ruler Joe Biden

What I respect about MAGA is that they demand things from their leaders and don't play this 4D chess game with themselves about what's "electable" and "popular" and managed to push their party to take positions they believe in. Mind you what they want is destructive evil.

Advertisers ruin everything. USPS provides a service called "Informed Delivery" which is very cool. They scan your letters and give you an email of what should be arriving. Then they gave advertisers an option to include a link and image if their mail appears in your inbox. 1/2

Remember this next time you're asked to vote blue no matter who: Cuomo lost the primary, decided to run as independent, and was endorsed by both Trump and Clinton. Both party share the same goals.

I hope y'all are ready to hold this guy accountable or else we'll get another Obama.

if democrats are serious about winning they need to learn from tonight and convert to islam

I wish Cheney was alive to see this

claude makes me more productive because I look at its output and then I'm like "damn this sucks, I guess I gotta write it myself"

Prop 50 is emblematic of why everyone hates dems. It redistricts the state, overriding the non-partisan board the state previously established, to gain more dem seats. Then they add this performative BS and think voters are too stupid to see the hypocrisy.

I think I'm bipolar between tidy and messy.

shoutout to all my poor homeies who are either too ethical or too lazy to do financial crimes during this administration

Crazy that Steve Jobs named his daughter Eve. It's like if I name my child Fan.

There are no funny numbers. If you find a number funny it's because your sense of humor is extremely basic.

you know there's not been a single person revealed in the Epstein files where I had to go "huh, that's surprising"

she can't even do identity politics right and that's like the only thing the dems have that's permitted by their corporate donors and they're going to make us watch her lose again to a brain dead pedo https://fxtwitter.com/samhaselby/status/1970450156639396312

Update: locked out of ATM as my bank card expired and the replacement they sent two months ago went to local loopback. https://mastodon.social/@yifanlu/114258758866786567

Issac Newton was the original annoying jailbreak community poster.

you know you're going to face the guillotine one day when you're asked about annual income and have to select the one that says "or more"

Not a week goes by that I don't have to reverse engineer something just to figure out why, for example, my smart doorbell isn't working or why an app keeps crashing. I don't understand how normal people trying to use computers aren't all feeing hopeless all the time.

Stop calling this "right wing cancel culture" because from the Iraq war censorship to anti-war protests, political firings has always been right wing. A couple of college students writing a letter about Halloween costumes to their dorm is NOT the same thing.

marketing emails be like "do not reply to this address" bitch YOU'RE the one imposing ME you dont get to use that tone with me

it's wild how one far right extremist can assassinate another far right extremist and the far right government just goes "but imagine if they were a gay brown man" and the centrist media responds with "both sides needs to denounce violence"

maybe when a shitty person who advocates for violence upon others have violence visited upon them, we don't need to waste any brain cell arguing about it and instead focus our energy on eradicating their ideology from acceptable discourse

https://security.apple.com/blog/memory-integrity-enforcement/ > Google took a great first step last year when they offered MTE to those who opt in to their program for at-risk users. But even for users who turn it on, the effectiveness of MTE on Android is limited 🎤🫳

I'm sorry I still cannot get used to white people food. You want something healthy? Here's some raw vegetables drizzled with some sauce. You want something good? Here's meat on bread and if you're lucky we deep fry it.

If all Trump wants is to be remembered, I got good news. We got a day coming up that people will never forget...

How about we stop electing presidents where on any given week half the population thinks they're dead and the other half says that's actually really mean he looks perfectly healthy while pointing at a picture of a corpse

this is where I learned that the reason Chuck Schumer is so awful is because, and I kid you not, he made up some imaginary friends who are literal Trump voting republicans, and he often "talks to" like real people and says they guide his political beliefs https://youtube.com/watch?v=dijMKwZMU2Q

the thought of Trump's team frantically trying to reverse engineer the serum they would give to Biden

Mr President, I think it is very important that you listen only to your Secretary of Health RFK Jr and not the woke medical establishment.

Played CS2 for the first time and the terrorists called for a time out. Uh excuse me?

the only thing I give less of a shit about than taylor's engagement is cracker barrel

I bet none of y'all realized that Biden's last horcrux is one Donald J Trump

I've never then a political thriller before. What does it mean when the VP is giving press conferences assuring us of the president's health but also he is ready to lead if called upon?

absolutely insane to see a man with a completely cooked brain take a country with such an intense founding mythology about the rejection of kings, and turn it into his personal vanity project in the span of like six months. kind of embarrassing for us collectively as a society

Look if we're going to fall fascism, I'd rather the gestapo be cleaning up parks and not rounding up undesirables and throwing them into camps.

I always thought the communist revolution would be brought about by awaking the masses. Turns out it can also be brought about by a fascist trying to distract from pedo allegations.

dems in 2028 will be like "I know the death camps are on everybody's minds but when elected we will make sure only the most deserving minority will be sent to them"

My advice to any American watching their empire crumble to pieces is that it'll all be okay. Just make sure to practice your Mandarin.

ngl this is actually based and was the original name of the department. but our leaders didn't like the optics of continuing to increase spending for "war" during peacetime. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Department_of_War

kitasan black and satono diamond energy

oh no I just realized that the dumbest guys in 50 years will say shit like "he was a great orator" and "he unified America" while referring to Trump

There are two kinds of anime fans: - I want to fuck the cartoon drawing - I want to be in the cartoon drawing

can we nationalize the airlines next?

me trying to explain the hawk tuah memecoin rug to my grandmother who lived through the Nanjing massacre, Great Leap Forward, and the Cultural Revolution.

> be joe biden > built vast and overreaching infrastructure to successfully steal the 2020 election > 2024 > doesn't press the "win election" button > now ps5 costs $50 more

maga has been talking about the government being filled with pedos for years but I never realized it was aspirational