If the reports are accurate and over 5 MILLION people marched the streets in every corner of the US today, you're never gonna convince me he won that election. Ain't NO. WAY.

The ENTIRE Office of Civil Rights in Chicago was laid off as of pm last night. ALL of them. The ENTIRE office closed. This is apocalyptic.

Not a story I tell often but I did share it on this podcast ep: How I got recruited to play in my favorite band of all time at the ripe ol’ age of 21. instagram.com/p/DHERPtdRXvd/

I’m not sure if Swifties realize how many Taylor party events are actually owned and run by Ticketmaster. Yes. Ticketmaster. Not owned by Swifties, owned by Ticketmaster. And yeah, I stay salty about that. 

Oh was “X” down today? I wouldn’t know since I deleted my account the very day fELon bought it, like y’all shoulda done 💅🏻

Me every day: “it’s been a few hours, I wonder if anything got better?” *opens phone*

Someone should study how angry I get when I see a Cybertruck. GAHD I can’t even type that without wanting to bleach my thumbs.

I keep thinking if I distract myself from my phone for a few hours, I’ll come back to better news. So far no luck.

This is what you get when you look up impotent in the dictionary.

I’m tending to my mental health by wrapping myself up in this project: I’m posting a solo cover every single day of March: 31 songs for 31 days, starting tomorrow March 1st with Fortnight. Find them on my socials.

Since today is Boycott Day, I thought I’d ask any of you who are still on Xitter to leave. Lock down or delete your accounts and go. Let Xitter go the way of Tesla.

Does everyone else get monumentally depressed when they get sick? Like I’m DOWN with the flu, and all I can do is perseverate on all the things I need to be doing and cannot get done. I have deadlines. I do not have TIME for this. Being in writhing pain isn’t even the worst part - it’s the anxiety.

This man who is manipulating 2 women called it “girl drama” when one called him out on it. This dude told everyone he was a bad guy and lo and behold is a bad guy. #loveisblind

Okay, Episode 4 and the “didn’t vote in the last election” guy got called “Annoying.” Good. But now she’s going down the road of excusing him. Girl, RUN.

Okay I’m on episode 3 and I found the casually MAGA-leaning “both sides” guy who’s already told every woman he’s a huge POS so yep that tracks. 👍🏻

I can’t believe I’m watching love is blind, but all I wanna know is if these women asked these men who they voted for. Don’t judge me I have the flu and a fever.

Please please please do not bring your children to our shows if they are not vaccinated. We are here to foster joy; not be a super spreader event.

I am *DESPERATE* to hear what the "both sides are the same" people are thinking right now... Did you REALLY think the democrats were going to fire tens of thousands of public servants and eliminate MEDICAID? Tell me.

At this point yes I am judging every person who chooses to stay on twitter.

Here in Illinois, ten years ago we saw the consequences of a rampant ideological gutting of government. It genuinely harmed people. Our citizens hated it. Trust me – I was elected based in part on just how much they hated it.

A critical point.

Someone’s gonna have to explain to me how/why Big Pharma would let them ban our meds when big pharma has controlled our whole world for decades. They caused the opioid epidemic but suddenly they’re gonna lose billions on SSRI’s because a brainwormed addict said so? I just don’t believe that.

Draw the 🖤 cat eye sharp enough to 🔪 a man.

Check on the health professionals in your life today. A lunatic was just put in charge of our work and his lunatic boss just fired 10% of the CDC. They're going to cause an even deadlier pandemic and they're getting rid of the people who can tell on them.

Imagine hating me and I’m literally just over here learning how to play Taylor Swift’s entire catalog note-for-note.

Can we all just please agree that only ONE celebrity gets to run this country and that celebrity is Dolly Parton?

JESUSMOTHERINCHRIST can podcasters PLEASE provide a trigger warning before CHEWING into a microphone?!?! MY god I will have to spend the rest of the day carving my eardrums out now.

BRB gonna commit a BUNCH of crimes and the run for office. Didn’t know this was a Get Out of Jail Free card! I’ve just been following the law this whole time like an absolute idiot.

In case you’re wondering how the cult is justifying fELON taking control of the government, they legitimately believe that Biden had an unelected surrogate running the government for him. They don’t have reality on their side. So all of this completely criminal behavior is okay with them. They’re 🍌

In case you need a reminder, Taylor Swift is much wealthier than Felon 47, donates more than he earns, and has zero convictions. Nothing he says can diminish who she is.

i’ll get older, but your lovers stay my age

Proud to say I’ve always been an Apple Maps user and the Gulf of Mexico is just as it should be.

I did not want to speak this into existence but my best friend can attest that I called the Chiefs losing after Taylor lost at The Grammys. I just knew they’d share this experience like they shared last year’s. It’s okay.

If you think @govpritzker.illinois.gov is funny, you should see Sec Alexi Giannoulias reading the IL rejected license plates 🤣 ILLINOIS GOT JOKES. youtu.be/ZrMD3wdmmgk

I’m trying to figure out if there’s been even one single decade in all of United States history that was not completely full of human suffering. OK maybe the 1990s.

My Swiftie SuperBowl party is featured in @washingtonpost.com today!!

My two social media timelines: Bluesky: EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE A PAINFUL DEATH THIS WEEK Threads: These ugly ass broligarch motherfuckers are lighting everything on fire, so let’s listen to some Taylor Swift about it.

I don’t know but I’m willing to try.

I just voted NO on RFK Jr. to lead HHS. None of his empty promises could undo the harm his past statements have already had on people’s health. He’s a flip-flopper, a conspiracy peddler, and a danger to our country. He’s driven by self-interest, not by protecting Americans.

Come for the Taylor Swift Tribute Band; Stay for my 4-Year Daily Screeching Meltdown About The Party of Bone Spurs and Brain Worms.

As an MPH lemme just say I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. A VACCINE-DENYING. BRAINWORMED. PREDATOR. WILL. BE. IN. CHARGE. OF HEALTH. THIS ADMINISTRATION. IS TRYING. TO KILL US. I’m gonna have a fucking stroke.

Was just told it’s “racist” to call FOTUS “orange” in case you’re wondering just how stupid racists are. They think his Dream Matte Mouse is a race.

Why the hell is anyone still on X? Explain it to me like I’m 5.

Anybody remember when we were thriving? I know, me neither.

Just patiently waiting for another country to invade us. Anyone? Bueller?

I defend my fellow Swifties a lot: most of the time people blame us for shit than an unhinged faction or even non-listeners are responsible for. But those among us talking shit about Beyonce winning AOTY or Country AOTY? Please stop. This is not a good look for us. That's some real wyt people shit.