Valentines day date idea smoke an entire carton of cigarettes with that special someone

I am going to make the sky green and turn the world into pudding now give me three billion dollars

New York wolverine that has pizza cutter wheels instead of his normal claws

???

*burps*

one of the nosepieces on my glasses fell off like 3 days ago and i've been going progressively more crazy as time goes on

Maybe they should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps or something then

"dog is man's best friend" the humble yeast:

when you gotta use the Dremel on one of your extruder's mounting screws because it's somehow stripped from the factory

What if the options in 2028 were poop vs crap haha checkmate!!! I showed you by forcing you into my garbage hypothetical scenario!!

"If the CA Gov is popular" is doing a LOT of heavy lifting here

Beer Thursday

I wonder why that is

@adobe.com why would you discontinue adobe animate are you guys allergic to money or what? Be real with me

Next they'll say painting "free candy" on a windowless van is just an act of community charity

Always loved the "well you're in public anyways" cope for flock cameras and other mass surveillance, if you feel this way you should be perfectly fine with me following and documenting your every move! Why is that "weird" bro? No I'm not *stalking* you, you're in public buddy!

Irish Jedi: Yoda I tell you do NOT turn on that speeder it's meant for Darth Thatcher

ok so like was it projection or what the dude wanted to go to little Saint James www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

Web developers you should hide blatant lies in the same color as the background so the AI webscraper slowly turns its own brain to mush

After 487 seasons they've still got it!

Kinda crazy how those "get your paycheck early!" apps exist when that's like what a loan is but they skirt all the legal pits of being a loan shark

are we talking like "horse with a bad leg" retirement or is he not actually gonna experience any consequences for his actions and shuffle off to a gated neighborhood

Driving is like sports right you go for the highest gear yeah?

It's kinda crazy how the tech chuds enabled all of this to happen by not taking any actual action on botting and bad faith actors because banning a couple hundred thousand "would be bad for the numbers"

You'd think it was cars 2 the way ice reacts to having a camera pointed at them

In America they execute you in broad daylight for exercising your rights

Chuck Schumer in the hotel cuck chair: "this is abhorrent, someone's gotta do something about this! Where are the judges at?"

Sig Sauer with a Sig optic their claim smells fishy That is a fed gun if I've seen one

Chuck Schumer in the hotel cuck chair: "this is abhorrent, someone's gotta do something about this! Where are the judges at?"

Destiny 2 PVP

Joe Dirt DVD, Scarlett Johanson, and treasure from a fish tank

My server told me AWS outages keep killing his websites so I asked how many websites he has and he said he keeps going to the domain registry and buying more when one dies so I said it sounds like he's feeding his websites to AWS and his sysadmin started crying

NA beer? As opposed to turbocharged beer or???

@teilyn.bsky.social what a baby

Booger blaster

Why would I drunk drive? that means I leave the bar

what if like an alien family walks up to you and the kid one offers you a graham cracker would you let an alien hand feed you like it was a petting zoo (the dad alien in a hawaiian shirt has his camera ready btw)

It's kinda crazy how many people put a Bible verse in their bio and then say the most vile things you've ever heard like they've got a get out of hell free card

man how has one of their major shareholders not turned mark into a puddle of zuckersoup yet

🚨🚨ATTENTION🚨🚨 group bubble bath is in 30 minutes

putting one of these into the computer because it's all the ram I can afford any more