i love all of wadjet eye’s releases and could not be more excited

tomorrow!

dungeon crawl tomorrow and all i can think about is i haven’t pooped in two days and i don’t want to do it there

gonna do some valid shit

this new WORM is extremely my shit

it’s wild that noted silly goose devin townsend has written probably two of the most emotionally important songs to me in recent years

popped to the warhammer shop today and a cis boyfriend was explaining warhammer to his trans girlfriend and i feel i woke up in backwards land

gonna say that if your a dude who was on a screen at a festival and then strip off after and sit there dick out naked you are a sexual fucking predator

i think a quieter day today is in order

christ it’s been a while since i’ve had to dig my nails into the ground to hold onto the world moving

ah shit i overdid it

i have never exploded with vomit like that holy shit

saw a rat at butlins, good rat

mum i’m at a rave

having one of those "i'm not cut out for existing" days, barely slept last night, overcome with just wanting to die rather than do anything right now, real top brain hours

pizza for dinner yum

large fucked up looking garfield packed for festival, very important

if i am seen this weekend feed me drugs and buckfast

i have to verify my identity to see the elminster big naturals mod on nexusmods and the government has gone too far

oh great now the constant panic i get before a festival has arrived to go with everything else i better be able to make some good music with all this going on

a 150 mile commute and day of induction meetings with strangers is not what my mental state needs right now

Oakland, CA Saturday, December 20th.

the state of transphobia in this country is horrendous the way its bullshit nonsense arguments end up being stated as fact from the mouths of ostensibly supportive people, the male socialisation, that it’s a trend, the “no singular they”, non binary people harm cis gnc people, full fucking bingo

holy fuck the place i go for laser has doubled their rates what the fuck

had some bad leg pain today but new treadmill to the rescue and now i'm tired, sweaty, and also in pain

posti g nudes

making synth music

spending a lot of time with the new Yellow Eyes release

work have implemented ai pr reviews and it is taking every fibre of my being to not post on each review telling it to eat my entire ass but in small wins in a ticket to move from using fetch to a more robust method of fetching data i have made 3 mean girls references in tickets and prs so far

taking and deleting a bunch of tasteful nude photos of myself so my phones trash folder has something to do

this motherfucker has achievements

im feeling fucking horrendous today after commuting again yesterday and the constant painkillers not taking the edge off how much my leg fucking hurts it is not a good day for bodies

new toy to also be shit at using

bouncing the slogan “death before detransition” around inside my head like the dvd logo

the mtg/linguistics/trans nerds have translated "death before detransition" into phyrexian.

BREAKING: BASH BACK TARGET EHRC HEADQUARTERS

even if i compromise again this time it’ll just be the same again next year and the next year and the next year

might flip a coin, it's not like i'm capable of deciding between compromisng who i am vs keeping the life i currently have

oh ho ho i have a secret third solution to this life altering choice!

Just wanna bring this up again because it's been a while. I can only work part time at the moment and it takes me months to save for things I need so any financial support would be greatly appreciated. Hard to find work as a trans person with ADHD and heavy social anxiety.

sciatica is a fuck, absolutely not needed right now

fuckin love having sciatica great feeling 10/10

and just like that i’m back where i was a year ago

with all of the changes and stuff that have been made to my body over the last year i’m so much happier with how i look and present, and i am so laden with self doubt that i feel it hard to express that tbh i can look cute

sporting too much leopard print, dungarees, blue hair with bangs and i am like one more pin badge away from calling people folx and organising a “women and enbies” event

bloodlines 2 time, expectations tempered as fuck

think the source of my back pain right now is i need a fat shit

love to make the commute all the way to the office only to have all the services i need to work be fucked