some freak made a video and now a legion of weasels are suddenly experts on some bullshit

the inspiration behind thousands of responses to the “I was today years old when I learned” prompt on dating apps

reconnected my mom’s tv to wifi and showed her express cook on her new microwave, they’re already calling me the best son of holiday season 2025

American Christianity is just picking words out of a very small hat and throwing them around “he’s sovereign but he’s just” yep makes sense lady whatever you say

I bought the juice nerds and now I can’t stop eating the juice nerds

Jabberwocky-ass infographic

sure 90% of replies on here are people misunderstanding jokes or telling little non sequitur stories about themselves, but at least the app forces us to read every single one

as a person of political, financial and academic importance, I pledge to all my admirers that I am not in the Epstein files

Nuovo Testamento tonight, Pixel Grip on Friday, maybe Rare DM next week, then I might have to officially declare myself too old to party

more like Predator Extremely Good Lands

have you ever heard of 9/11? I have have you?

Zohran has to win tonight because I told my mom he was going to

zohran: good morning rama my aloof wife rama: hello mamdani

maybe the Dems should just stop running troops for office I dunno

Bubble party is coveted as fuck

they pepper sprayed Jesse Custer

spooky season baby we love it

I’M ON A ALBUM COVER

white maize is so iconic

you can track my relative enjoyment of each night of Cold Waves by my step count (considering Sunday includes the late-night Klack set on Saturday)

will clipping. play “Tipsy” at the industrial festival? tonight we find out

Cold Waves night 3/5 and I’m already so tired you guys

was talking about a band I love with the woman who cuts my hair, doing a piss poor job of describing them because I’m bad at talking about music, and she said “sort of like Jelly Roll?” and I grabbed her scissors and shoved them straight into my windpipe

nothing says “I love this city and want to serve its people” like threatening to leave it for a top contender for the most backward state in the union

been watching Landman and all I want to know is when will the Landman meet the Tulsa King

profoundly irresponsible to announce this before season 2 of The Rehearsal ends, we need all the facts

Star Trek is a really good show

calling it now, I will go down in history as the loneliest man in the 2020s who did not resort to AI for companionship, they’ll write books about me and my courage

I need to get in shape by September or five nights of Cold Waves will kill me

nobody told me a 27” monitor was going to be so huge

Taco Bell near the movie theater has chilitos so you know I bought six for the road

now that I’m 42 I guess I’ve entered my “seated shows in beautiful theaters” era

met someone at a show who said she was into EDM and I asked if she was going to see Underworld in May and she said “who is that?” and I shot myself in the head and died

half heartedly watching basketball and listening to :wumpscut: now that’s what I call March Madness

I think the Coens are taking this whole thing but I’d sure like to see Cronenberg advance

facebook has a setting where you can request more slop

fantasy baseball draft tonight, I need to know who are the best guys?

replaced all the padding on my Sennheisers feel like a new man

weighed myself for the first time in ages and I’ll be riding that “not as fat as I thought” high for the rest of the day

paper cut under the nail of my orange-peeling thumb is throwing off my whole deal

yes I logged a 9-minute commercial for Apple Music , everything is cinema

gonna have nightmares about Woe

Teddy Graham Sam you’re my main man

last time I got shut out of buying NIN tickets was when they played a club tour in 2005 which, yeah, understandable end of an era I guess

just found out the sensitive dad in Presence was Taserface

got my Beth Gibbons tickets (show’s on my birthday nbd) and now I’m listening to Dummy and vibrating

for years David Lynch was “the guy who made the movie that had the soundtrack I listened to incessantly before I could see real movies” and shaped so much of my life even before I rented Lost Highway on VHS and lost my mind

David Lynch was a giant.