Dang girl... are you a student? because I'm a-loan

Green eggs and ham? hmm more like pb and jam

Yelling about stolen valor at the kid wearing a Russel from up costume on Halloween

"Never has there been a kingdom as prosperous as ours." "Dad, there's ants in the floor" "Trade routes are thriving. Bring the messengers additional Adderall"

Putting down my pet rock just to fucking feel something

Call my snakes and ladders the way my nephew hates me

Calling my dark souls Caracter Phineas the way he doesn't know where perry is.

Walking into my local weapons shop and pulling a katana down off the wall "Aah this is some fine steel. Folded, in the traditional way. And I sense...something sinister. *chuckles* you've got something special here" Knife shop employee: "sir it's 45 dollars, are you buying it or not"

They call me Samuel the way I'm Jackson off

JFK would give mad head

using my nose on the microwave just in case I go blind

Eating a chocolate muffin everyday until I'm out of chocolate muffins