If an email is over a month old and no one has followed up then there is no need to reply to it now. That ship has long sailed.

What do you mean Clear nor Amex Platinum gets me priority entry into the clurb?!

Cheers Queers 🥂 w/ @jfcap.bsky.social

Bars should have tums for customers.

Everyone seems to be in the Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. (Little Gay Pub is playing it)

Advertising that an airport lounge has air conditioning is pretty funny. Like I'd hope so.

Watching Lilies Not For Me and I assume it has a very sad ending. ☹️

Gays really will do an impromptu photoshoot anywhere. Very few places are off limits.

I assume any consultant that sends me emails with exclamation mark & an emoji must be a gay.

Tried watching Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale last night and it just didn't hit the same. Maybe I wasn't in the mood, but it felt like it was missing whatever spark the show and previous movies had. Gave up after watching the first ~30 minutes.

iced latte > iced coffee

Party promoters have gotten lazy with VIP often being just express entry.

Almost home, 4+ hours early 🙌

Can you imagine being cut from the basketball team because a dog is better than you? That's gotta hurt.

Coke nail is out. Coke toenail is in.

Hello from a basement bathroom in Brooklyn.

Supposedly it's short king week because it goes from 5,1 to 5,8.

We're still in New Jersey and people are already lined up to get off the train. At least 10-15 minutes until we're in NYC.

If Amtrak needs to make an announcement telling people how to flush the toilets on a NextGen train then it's a poor design. It should be intuitive.

Got my ice latte and I'm heading back to NYC

I'm not hungover but I'm not not hungover.

Spread love; spread butt cheeks.

"24 month aged parmasean" So it's old.

No Toads Refused!

My first call this morning started with them telling me that they don't normally do x, y, & z on projects. THEN WHY IS IT IN THE CONTRACT?!

Pineapple maxxing 😏

The Devil Wears Prada 2 was good. Did the original justice and worth seeing imo.

On Wednesdays we wear pink [to the gym]. w/ @jfcap.bsky.social

I hate sending emails telling people they're doing a bad job but at least it's a vendor and not an employee. I don't actually really know these people other than through email and Zoom. Make it easier to not let emotions get in the way.

With Wyoming having only two sets of escalators in the entire state, I want to believe that school children visit them on field trips to the "big city" of Cheyenne.

Society: "You can be anything you want." Also society: No, not that, or that, or that.

Thanos was right. #JusticeForThanos

It's difficult to focus in a meeting when Zoom makes my head look huge compared to the rest of my body.

May you dream of champagne and orgies.

For tomorrow's staff meeting everyone should be prepared to share 2 accomplishments from Q1 that they're most proud of & 2 priorities for Q2. "Didn't die; won't cry" should count.

A lot of people are out at 4:39 AM. Far more than usual. Cars and people walking. Very strange.

Adult exchange program but it’s just a day of showing someone your local haunts. Take them to the bodega with the best sandwiches, the neighborhood dive to meet your bartender and the regulars, the "good" coffee shop, the dispensary where they know your name, etc.

There's something magical about olives.

It is possible to set Chrome's default search engine to Pornhub.

Cookie Monster: Blue vanilla ice cream with Oreos, baked chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate chip cookie dough.

Rule #1 of working multiple full-time jobs: keep that shit secret. No employer wants to find out they've been paying someone who has another full-time job.

good morning, you are loved 🫂

Please turn on Two-factor authentication for at least your email. I was just able to trick a major eSignature platform into giving me someone's saved signature with just access to a email they received. It didn't require me to login or anything.

My most liked tweet might end up being me showing off my baby bump lmao

Name my first born Malört

Bear fur & abs are mia atm

No Kink at Earth Day?

I can't imagine being so desperate for attention that I would still use Twitter.

Thankful that I've never peed irl when dreaming about peeing.