Sore throats are a pain in the neck! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

If I could name myself after any Egyptian god, I'd be Set. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI" #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why did this script fail? Because it has too much byte and not enough bark. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign Language #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Somebody stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay - you have my Word. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Damn. #grickledoodle #puns #seal #penguins #ocean #cartoon #art #drawing #funny

Ever wondered why bees hum? It's because they don't know the words. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call two barracuda fish? A Pairacuda! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I boiled a funny bone last night and had a laughing stock #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Geology rocks, but Geography is where it's at! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What biscuit does a short person like? Shortbread. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted #jokes #dadjoke #funny

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?” #jokes #dadjoke #funny

“My Dog has no nose.” “How does he smell?” “Awful” #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Q: What did the spaghetti say to the other spaghetti? A: Pasta la vista, baby! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

‘Put the cat out’ … ‘I didn’t realize it was on fire #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

My Xmas grocery order just arrived late and to next door. The driver handed me a bag and said 'There's a couple of substitutions, here's your sprig of rosemary and haddock' I said to him 'This isn't the thyme or the plaice. #jokes #dadjoke #finny

To be Frank, I'd have to change my name. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2 detour. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did the ocean say to the beach? Thanks for all the sediment. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian – they’re not laughing now. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?" #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why was the strawberry sad? Its parents were in a jam. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I'll tell you what often gets over looked... garden fences. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

*Reversing the car* "Ah, this takes me back" #jokes #dadjoke #funny

This one is de-lightful... (It's #hootintootintuesday again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to #Mastodon.) #Humor #humour #funnymeme #dadjoke #dadjokes #christmas #merrychristmas #christmaslights #christmas_tree_lights

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Today's funny 😂🤣

What has three letters and starts with gas? A Car. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Is there a hole in your shoe? No… Then how’d you get your foot in it? #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did the drummer name her twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two... #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Bad Cat Coffee Co. FB #humor #cats

What do you do on a remote island? Try and find the TV island it belongs to. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why did the m&m go to school? Because it wanted to be a Smartie! #jokes #dadjoke #funny