The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. #funny #followback #dadjoke

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent. #divertido #funny #followback

What did the dirt say to the rain? If this keeps up, my name will be mud! #punny #divertido #funny

Why do Java programmers hate communism? They don't want to live in a classless society. #pun #punny #divertido

Where do young cows eat lunch? In the calf-ateria. #puns #pun #punny

What's a banker's favorite type of weather? Freezing — they love frozen assets! #groan #puns #pun

My husband and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met. #mumjokes #groan #puns

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!! #momjokes #mumjokes #groan

Why did the jellyfish start a band? Because it had electric skills! #jokesky #momjokes #mumjokes

I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with. She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights." #humorsky #jokesky #momjokes

What did the volcano say to its partner? I lava you so much. #humoursky #humorsky #jokesky

What do you get if you lock a monkey in a room with a typewriter for 8 hours? A regular expression. #humor #humoursky #humorsky

A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a glass of vodka but the bar tender says, "sorry we don't serve spirits" #humour #humor #humoursky

What did the soufflé say to the oven timer? Don't pressure me — I'll rise to the occasion. #jokes #humour #humor

Why did the web developer walk out of a resturant in disgust? The seating was laid out in tables. #joke #jokes #humour

I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day. #dadjokes #joke #jokes

What does the mermaid wear to math class? Algae-bra. #dadjoke #dadjokes #joke

I was feeling depressed, my wife put her hand on my back and said "Earth." It meant the world to me. #followback #dadjoke #dadjokes

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything. #funny #followback #dadjoke

What did the artist say to their Valentine? You really draw me in! #divertido #funny #followback

Why did the database administrator leave his wife? She had one-to-many relationships. #punny #divertido #funny

Why was the picture sent to prison? It was framed. #pun #punny #divertido

Why did the moth fail the exam? He kept getting distracted by the highlights. #puns #pun #punny

My employer came running to me and said, "I was looking for you all day! Where the hell have you been?" I replied, "Good employees are hard to find." #groan #puns #pun

A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned. #mumjokes #groan #puns

Nothing beats a good dad joke 🤣

What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business. #momjokes #mumjokes #groan

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? An outlaw is wanted. #jokesky #momjokes #mumjokes

Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin. #humorsky #jokesky #momjokes

What kind of key opens a banana? A mon-key. #humoursky #humorsky #jokesky

To prove he was right, the flat-earther walked to the end of the Earth. He eventually came around. #humor #humoursky #humorsky

I had a rough day, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary. It just goes from bad to worse. #humour #humor #humoursky

My kid wants to be an archaeologist. I told her that career is in ruins. #jokes #humour #humor

Happy Father's Day! Enjoy more artsy dad jokes from Mel and Andrea, and let us know your favorite.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense. #joke #jokes #humour

Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even. #dadjokes #joke #jokes

What did the cookbook say to the amateur chef? Just follow my lead — I've got all the right ingredients for success. #dadjoke #dadjokes #joke

Why did the banana go see a doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well. #followback #dadjoke #dadjokes

Friday #dadjoke 🤭😆

Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it... We had some drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web developer. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did the algebra equation say after it was solved? I finally found my X — but I still don't know Y. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Hey Girl, Roses are #ff0000, Violets are #0000ff, I use hex codes, But I'd use RGB for you. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why do surgeons always get invited to parties? Because they know how to cut a rug! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Knock knock. Who's there? Recursion. Recursion who? Knock knock. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Picked up some carryout Indian food for dinner, and I had to tell everyone about it. Because of my naan disclosure agreement.

What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer? Quacks in the pavement. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Two SQL tables sit at the bar. A query approaches and asks "Can I join you?" #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator? A Fermilabrador Retriever. #jokes #dadjoke #funny