Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

When people are sad, I sometimes let them colour in my tattoos. Sometimes all they need is a shoulder to crayon. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

The urge to sing the Lion King song is just a whim away. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Without geometry life is pointless. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones? Anything you'd like, it can't hear you. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I think circles are pointless. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Mountains aren't just funny, they are hill areas #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I always wanted to look into why I procrastinate, but I keep putting it off. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I've been trying to come up with a dad joke about momentum . . . but I just can't seem to get it going. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

My friend told me that pepper is the best seasoning for a roast, but I took it with a grain of salt. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says “Give me some chap-stick… and put it on my bill” #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a duck that gets all A's? A wise quacker. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot? #jokes #dadjoke #funny

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning? He was a good conductor. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep? Matt. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

To the guy who invented zero... thanks for nothing. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did the big flower say to the littler flower? Hi, bud! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I wish I could clean mirrors for a living. It's just something I can see myself doing. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I walked into the liquor store and a guy working there asked me, ”Do you need help?" I said, "Yes, but I'm here to get whiskey instead"

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why did the knife dress up in a suit? Because it wanted to look sharp #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two-tired. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words. Be positive. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

How do the trees get on the internet? They log on. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I was shocked when I was diagnosed as colorblind... It came out of the purple. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I am so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I was so proud when I finished the puzzle in six months, when on the side it said three to four years. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I remember when I was a kid, I opened my fridge and noticed one of my vegetables were crying. I guess I have some emotional cabbage. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig. It's not a very long poem, but it's deep

What is the tallest building in the world? The library – it’s got the most stories! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice? A Popsicle. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a girl between two posts? Annette. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? 
Because he was a little horse! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

► FunHouseRadio.com <- TUNE IN