How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I have a new theory on inertia... but it isn't gaining any momentum... #dadjoke

Pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in The Bahamas. These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why are basketball players messy eaters? Because they are always dribbling. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Remember, the best angle to approach a problem from is the "try" angle. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I've got a joke about vegetables for you... but it's a bit corny. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

My sister bet me $15 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Sgt.: Commissar! Commissar! The troops are revolting! Commissar: Well, you’re pretty repulsive yourself. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

How many seconds are in a year? 12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you get when you cross a pig and a pineapple? A porky pine #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Tuesday #dadjoke 🎺😁

Conjunctivitis.com – now that’s a site for sore eyes. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I'm practicing for a bug-eating contest and I've got butterflies in my stomach. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You will see one later and one in a while. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What's brown and sticky? A stick. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call someone with no nose? Nobody knows. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Thursday #dadjoke 😄😆😂

How come the stadium got hot after the game? Because all of the fans left. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid? Neither did he. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Child: Dad, make me a sandwich. Dad: Poof! You're a sandwich. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler? A poutine. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I'd like to start a diet, but I've got too much on my plate right now. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why didn’t the orange win the race? It ran out of juice. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Have you heard of the band 1023MB? They haven't got a gig yet. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Recent survey revealed 6 out of 7 dwarf's aren't happy. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Sore throats are a pain in the neck! #jokes #dadjoke #funny

If I could name myself after any Egyptian god, I'd be Set. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI" #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why did this script fail? Because it has too much byte and not enough bark. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign Language #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Somebody stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay - you have my Word. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

Damn. #grickledoodle #puns #seal #penguins #ocean #cartoon #art #drawing #funny

Ever wondered why bees hum? It's because they don't know the words. #jokes #dadjoke #funny