Where is Jeremy today?

Where is Jeremy today?

Middlesbrough, 1970s, photo by Robin Dale (Mary Evans Picture Library).

I hope you have a lovely Christmas, but do remember HE IS WATCHING xxx

Happy Jolabokaflod to those who celebrate!!

I’ve never been an alpha male. Do alphas often kneel at the feet of other men? It looks quite relaxing!

One of the awkward things for the last few years has been trying to stop my kid from getting into a certain author's books because of how much of a pain it would be when one of those investigations finally got through a legal team.

"they don't know how to express the idea" here's rian johnson's storyboard for knives out pick up a pencil and a napkin

I do not like this saucer-faced weasel

Just to say, if you love down n dirty cinematic American small town crime novels, with plenty of violence, and a strong moral core, SA Cosby is for you.

Reposting to remind me to read this…

I am very interested in doing this…

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard Mode: No Star Wars, Marvel etc

This is a good top 5 but you’d probably disagree wouldn’t you grandad?

Where is Jeremy today?

Where is Jeremy today?

Amazingly, hot new TV show Pluribus appears to have the EXACT same premise as my book Happytown Must Be Destroyed. Dunno how I feel about that other than: great premise! Bet Happytown is funnier though.

Where is Jeremy today?

Where is Jeremy today?

October Monster 33: The Earie Glow Its ears glow. That’s it. That’s the joke.

October Monsters 32: Bad Apples Terrible news! The bad apples have started working together! Here are the Apple of your Eye and the Apple That Keeps the Doctor Away. These guys are guaranteed to spoil any barrel.

Where is Jeremy today?

October Monster 31: The Wise Old Chutney Venerated elder of the fridge community. Has sprouted several grey hairs. Is it spicy? Well it’s old so it has some pretty, uh, strongly held opinions and hot takes. Don’t get it started about politics or whether ketchup should be kept in the fridge.

Where is Jeremy today?

October Monster 30: The Mimic Amazingly, each person will see a different version of this picture. The Mimic is so magically talented that whatever face it’s pulling here - that’s what YOU look like! And whatever noises it’s making - that’s what you sound like!

October Monster 29: Too Many Monsters If you neglect your daily monster admin your monsters can pile up, becoming unmanageable.

October Monster 28: A Skull These things are terrifying, and I’ve just found out I’ve got one HIDING IN MY HEAD!!! How did it get in there? Get it out! Get it out! Help meeeee

October Monster 27: Immortal Onion Sits alone in your cupboard, plotting. It doesn’t like you: You ate its friends then forgot about it. It grows harder. It sprouts tendrils. Then one day it’s gone. Maybe… maybe it’s coming to find you and make you pay. Or maybe someone finally threw it out. Maybe.

October Monster 25: The Puzzler A demonic quizmaster who pops tricky little questions directly into your brain, questions like “what the heck do you think you’re doing?” Or “who the heck do you think you are?” Or “why the heck are you drawing dumb monsters every day?”

October Monster 25: Vampire Bee Causes low blood sugar. Sucks the blood from your neck, then the sugar from that blood, to make honey that’s not so much “runny” as “run down-y”

October Monster 24: The Little Beep Beepbeepbeep. You hear a quiet beeping. Is it the fire alarm? The microwave? Your straighteners? A deadly robot hiding in your wardrobe, waiting for the right moment to attack? No, it’s this Little Beep. Usually. You might want to check your wardrobe for robots.

October Monster 23: Man with Buttons for Eyes Scary, but not as scary as a cardigan with eyeballs for buttons.

October Monsters 22: Small Brown Leaves A shambling army of crinkly, dried-up Autumnal tree droppings that march into your home and settle around your house, making your floor crunchier than normal.

October Monster 21: The Brain Blaster If you find yourself standing up to talk in front of a crowd, he will detonate a small bomb in your brain that temporarily removes all knowledge of what you are about to say. Can sometimes also remove your name, location, why you ever chose to do this job etc

My god, this trailer ❤️

October Monster 20: Magic Mirror When light hits the silvery backing on this mirror it bounces back at an angle equal to the angle it struck the surface and the light doesn’t scatter, creating a clear, coherent image that our brain interprets as a reflection! And that’s magic! Or science. Whichever

October Monster 18: Arctic Ghost Arctic ghosts have evolved a darker colouring so they don’t totally blend in with the background. The last thing you need is a ghost you can’t see. That’s just science.

October Monster 18: The Deal Here’s The Deal. You get one of these for free, no obligation, no downside. Just click “agree” to the terms and conditions (don’t read them! Who reads those?) and we’ll install one of these in every device you own! Don’t ask what they do. Honestly we’re not sure. Enjoy!

October Monster 17: Mothman If you’re lying in the dark, worried that Mothman is in there with you my advice is DON’T SWITCH THE LIGHT ON. Either a) he IS in there and you can now see him or b) now the light’s on he’s going to be battering your window til he gets in. Just go to sleep. Sweet dreams.

October Monster 16: The Blunder We’ve all made mistakes! Like the time you accidentally read that incantation from that grimoire while standing in front of that mirror that Halloween. Or maybe that’s just me. We can laugh about it now, me and this dude, but he refuses to go back into the mirror.

"Damn right," he behemothed hoarsely.

October Monster 15: Ragman Here is your rag. It keeps you calm. Sometimes you lose your rag, and lose your chill completely. But you haven’t really lost it - the ragman is holding it for you, keeping it safe, until you’re ready to calm down and chill out once more.

Where is Jeremy today?

October Monster 14: The Elephant of Forgetting Wait - have I seen this show/read this book/been to this place before? I can’t remember! But the elephant can. He’s sucked the memory out of your head. You might as well not have bothered watching/reading/visiting. Still, it passed the time I suppose.

Sharing because I love horror comics and I want to read all of these

Where is Jeremy today?

October Monsters 13: Demonade When life hands you demons…

October Monster 12: The Shredder That’s an elaborate costume for a sprite whose only job is to rip up any tissues that find their way into your washing machine, to ensure an even covering of all your clothes.

Oh my gosh, i want to report a robbery. Sorry, charity shop 😬 99p! I feel like I should hand myself in to the authorities

October Monster 11: The Sting of Regret You look at the picture. It’s bland. Wonky. But you decide to read the caption in case there’s a good joke in it. There isn’t. You’ve wasted your time. You feel that? He got you with his little stinger. (I wanted to draw The Sting of Rejection - he said no)