omad with B over movie. it's our instinct to accept when he offers food it's a fucking curse.

k°mbu¢ha from sippy like Normal Hooman 😹 hands hurt too much to be opening and closing the bottle so much as we want to savour this. the other day we almost chugged it which we don't completely regret but we do want this to last today. been a rough morning and we did some sudokus and now j¡gsaw time

at least it was the Good-smelling trauma sweat this morning 😂 (how's THAT for optimism!? 🤣🙃😆)

struggling 🙃 wanting the day to be over but then it'd just be night and we'd want the night to be over. can we freeze dusk? is that possible??

hibiscus spiced tea 🤩

tw//SA . like who the fuck insists on starting while their partner is sleeping?? unless ur into that of course but i specifically told him many times both during and after that i wasn't cool with it. i'd literally ask him to wait 90 seconds so i could get out of my weird ass dream into reality but--

was gonna do nothing today but im actually in the mood to do a specific project at work so may as well, right? 🤪 (idk how much good laying down to rest will actually do today. tryna shake the Morning Traumas first 🙃)

need to prioritise hydration today. just wish the wind would stop being so loud 😿

tw//SA . it's windy af here and something of the neighbours was banging against something rapidly and just-- too close to *headboard* Memories for this early in the morning 🤢 and with how awful yesterday was for flashbacks at work...we're just not in a good place. sick of waking up to ®a¶€ every day

okay we decided we're having a salad cos we have a shitton of spinach. making it, ate a stem i snapped, tastes like COCONUT!?? why spinach tasting like coconut? is this a Science Thing? or am i just dying lmao

after store today not gonna go anywhere til Tues. gonna eat gummies and workout and fast if we can get away with it. will tackle to-dos Sat if we feel up to it. hoping we don't get sick from all the extra stressors this week. and lots of sniffles today if we have to miss sibling 🎄 dinner imma be mad

fuck i just remembered i gotta call the ¡nsuran¢€ peeps again. tty in an hour or three 💀

copious amounts of cheese which some got dropped on me so i won't be hitting the store with cheesy jeans. need to wash my shoe. the taters were worth it tho. and someone brought a pb pie...i will be requiring the recipe (yes i broke sugarfast SORRY mel please don't hate me more than u already do...)

barely been here two hrs, have had at least a dozen flashbacks, my pits are soaked, and im stressed cos im feeling compelled to count my breakdowns but that would get into even worse and sketchier territory lol where tf is ash when we need her

showing this to them if they deny my request

lunch meeting at work so that'll be omad and im HOPING they "okay" my WFH request today so we can clear out our desk and not have to come in at all next week (unless S is sick which is a real possibility...she was sniffling and coughing more than normal again yesterday...)

as part of a joke yesterday someone mentioned i smell in the list of comments and they're not wrong but like cut me some slack the trauma sweat at work is something i can't help and the amount of energy it takes to shower/clean up is just more than my dysphoria can deal with sometimes 🙃 so yah, idk.

if my brain could stop throwing me into flashbacks immediately upon waking that'd be great. spent at least an hour screaming into my pillow this morning before alarm went off and thankfully that was enough noise to snap my body into the present where we have control of it. mind still cloudy.

only took 2.25 hrs to eat 🙃 doing some stretches and nerve gIides before bed. there was a huge chunk of invoices we got to enter the fun and quick way today so we feel very accomplished at the number we did but also, MY FUCKING ARM IS ON FIRE cos it's more typing than the other method of verifying 😅

fuck i got way too much food. it was a normal amount for our typical omad but it just feels like too much. gut was making weird ass noises today too lol maybe stummy is shrinking. unfortunately the whole "you have to finish what you took" voice from childhood is a tad too loud rn but it's 2045 UGH 😖

debating including this with tonight's omad or if i should save it for tomorrow. we have gummies either way so idk. maybe we do drink tonight and tomorrow just take a gummy every half hour or something lol idk but yesterday and today fuckin beat us. im glad we have nothing going on this weekend. fr.

also i have a note im supposed to respond to some posts that The Others left "unread" here so will try to get to that after dinner. rn tho gotta omad cos we're driving tomorrow. today's been insane. but we're winning. i think. overall. probably. ha.

why do we always look hotter after store run day lol prob dehydration and the fact that i (felix) am prob the only One of Us who actually doesn't mind our cw. the connexion there being, i usually end up being active on these days cos i manage it better, and then i see us after the activity and Damn.

fuck winter. the static electricity had my earbuds shocking me. so much for comfort audios now it's not just body memory got my ear on fire now there's an actual physical reason too cos damn that shit hurt and it echoed too like i envisioned lightning in my ear canaI

debating how much 🍃 to consume before doing this paperwork lol and it's not even that much, it's literally 2 questions and im def overthinking the answers but like how much info do i include?? i tend to over explain things but in this case is it an Over explanation or just a Full explanation? hmm...

was watching our "new episode [of an existing show]" and halfway through it got SUPER triggering so now putting extra random shit on shuffle cos i feel like im on the edge of a flashback but it's just the body memories flooding so far and we haven't time travelled yet tryna keep it that way but shit

dinner heating up now 😅 it's 2010 💀 normally we like to be done eating...40 mins ago...fuck dude WHYYY at least we still have to do the thing so we won't be going to bed like *right after* eating :/ 😓 (we're so tired 😭)

procrastinating so hard by the time we make a decision it's gonna be fuckin bedtime hahaha im so sick of my stupid fuckin brain but we got the letter from therapist printed so we just have to finish our part of the paperwork to hand in tomorrow! then big store run if we remember card and have energy

apparently it's "meds" tonight (just vitamins/supplements) cos we ran out of v¡star¡I so THAT'S fun! thought had a backup bottle that we started collecting when we were prescribed 3 and only took 2 but now im nervous maybe that WAS our backup and uh we don't currently have a doc LOL IDK WHAT TO DO 🤡

I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANNA EAT I DON'T WANN

debating dinner cos milo had to go and eat at work 🙄 there was a big company breakfast and we only took fruit and a roll but still 😐 WHY. i guess we do have a sweet potato that needs to be eaten. think we'll just have that with meds and call it a day. we did so much this afternoon. fuckin exhausted.

sticking with omads 6/7 days and sugar fast til the 24th. less than 2 weeks we got this. gw for present, self, pls?

my arm feels extra phucked today so typing bout to be fuunnn...

everything fucking hurts and we have too many little details to navigate today. and tomorrow. we'll prob either be silent or obnoxious.

not dad saying the jeans for boys work better for him too 💀 we both currently wear 16s 💀 once i get to gw tho (which is taking embarrassingly long) can prob get some 14s, if the right style even exists in the store. we had to find our current ones on €ba¥ after a successful thrift run 😎

knocked my funny bone against my hip (which is starting to feel sharp again, yay), but of course it was the right side where that surgery scar is so That's ✨fun✨

why is this long ass phone call making me hungry 😭 i mean it's helpful cos we do have to eat tonight but wtf

my main grocery store semi recently updated their layout which drove us nuts but it really does make more sense now, And it means we can pretty much write our list in alphabetical and it matches the route we tend to take 😎

putting phone down so we can focus on counting. no energy to deal with Brain's bs today. damn my ex.

omad will be sweet potato, salad, and maybe bowl of soup. need to create grocery list for when stamps renew Wed. (thank goodness we got approved, i was nervous we wouldn't but ig the correct person called me 😭 :') looks like allotment might have somehow even gone up like $20...needed so so thankful)

workout time 😎

why so nauseous 😭

fucked up dream i can't remember woke us up like an hour ago and we've been sitting up since then and now that we're laying down again body's freaking the fuck out. fuck trauma man im so tired of this fuckin BS i just want some rest!! why does this have to be so fucking difficult?? 😭

why did we get two pickles when we don't even have pb. these ones aren't quite cronchy or cute enough to be worth it on their own. fuck. at least we kept the jar of juice. we'll return these next time we get up.

omad time. a bit late but we did a lot today. salad and leftover fajita sauce stuff on rice with corn.

apparently milo wrote this last night and it's not half bad so im sharing it lol it's not done yet but im sure he won't mind

was gonna continue fast but B offered fajitas and that's hard to say no to 😅

the t¡nn¡tus is acting the fuck up and driving me nuts. i keep feeling like i just got slapped/smacked/socked in the head. no bueno.

think gonna make signs for my walls with reminders like "breathe" and "hydrate" lol