IM NOT INVOLVED IN THIS!!!

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND IS ABOUT TO SHOW YOU THE DEFINITION OF PAAAAAIN

...butterscotch COUGHHH... thank you, weird blue thing...

NO°— [voice crack] ..maybe. ack

COFF COFF

 𝕬𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝕺𝐡, 𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝕴'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝙁𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙎𝙏 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐟  𝕬𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝖂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐲? 𝕹𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬…     — ʀᴜɴᴀᴡᴀʏ, ᴀᴜʀᴏʀᴀ

💤💤💤

𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄.    𝙉𝙊 𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙊𝙎𝙏.

i hate knights they're mean. if you're a knight I DON'T LIKE YOU

[little yordle is actually reading a book ...]

you're so mean to me. i'd make You dinner!!! ( q q ) [stopping his assault, giving up. ...ptuh ptuh- gross arm.]

[biting him on the arm!! growly growly. it's not penetrating anything, at least...] grrgghgrghh. why are so so bad at LISTENING!!

[airplane ears as he stares at him like this without saying a word]

give me the eggs.

enough yapping!! make me eggs!! [trying to boss him around!] with honeyfruit on top!

it's not burnt!

but YOUR food is different from MY food. pleaseeeeee

it was just something to call you over! you would've ignored me otherwise!

good, i have your attention!! make me food

my wife teemothy teemo.

im NOT CUTE. IM EVIL!! GREAT EVIL!!!

i will destroy you all

but you'd be the size of a dragon! imagine all the power you could have if your dna was altered! ...gah, i didn't think you'd understand. [scowling to the point his snout was VERY scrunched.] death happens—

and let them get our mutations?! that's not how it should work!! [he grumped, but eventually gave up and crossed his arms.] fineeee. you're impossible!! i'm trying to make us stronger! detonation is part of that process!

>:[ !!! give that BACK!! don't interrupt science, you big oaf!!! [reaching for it, trying to take it back!] we could be big mutated beasts together!!

i WANT to be messed up real bad! bigger body, another set of arms, insanely good vision, fur made of STONE!! imagine all the upgrades to myself if i could do if i got exposed to the right amount of radiation!!!~ i'm gonna set this off RIGHT NOW!!!

radioactive materials make for better explosives!! like the hiiiiighly radioactive stuff. [wiggling a c4 around in his big hand!] this is my newest creation! uehehee..

oh. nothing! just staring at things too long! the things that burn your eyes!! [blinking like a frog.]

uweehhh?? ( □ _ □ )

i wish i could be as muscular! it's admirable! [dangling from his arm, he just enjoyed the ride.] and even if i did, you wouldn't be able to see it. my fur is so dark... i can actually /see/ yours, though!

yes!! arms! [detaching himself and immediately roping himself around teemo's bicep with his entire body. he wasted not even a second-.] you're free now. ✨️

then you're never experiencing freedom for as long as you live! HEHE!! or maybe, you can bargain. i'll let you bargain! maybe a back massage, or wiring my bombs... or letting me feel your arms whenever i feel like it! or-

yes! but you have to say these /exact/ words! "veigar, the greatest evil, is as tall as baron nashor!" then i'll let you free! and no exploding. yet. [giggling to himself.]

you can get up... but you aren't getting me off! the best part? my hand... is laced with explosives!! so no funny stuff until i'm satisfied! HEHEHEHE! i truly am the master of evil! ...know that this wouldn't be happening if you admitted i was tall!~ [so prideful-]

eventually is eventually!! whenever i feel like, but /before/ your planned demise. [he huffed, casually making his big robotic hand clench up, latching on to teemo's clothing. a few cranks, and that was rock solid! like an anchor.] not anymore!! thanks for telling me your escape plan!! fool!

well, it's only for a bit! stop being a crybaby! i'll let you up... eventually! [he huffed back, resting his face on teemo's chest. - - ]

[squinting back, he seemed like he was about to get up! then kinda flopping back on him.] but i'm comfy. can i spare you later?

[ears twitching with each adjective, it was a clear indicator he was listening despite his closed eyes. twitching. twitching...] hmm... and you'll let /me/ wash you? you PROMISE??

i'll help you do up your fur if you'd like. it's not difficult once you know how. [he hummed, seeming to have kind of calmed down. that isn't to say he's budging, though. instead, getting more comfy!] i'll miss you when you die!

[face flustering under the touches, the black fur of his face tinting pink with all the affection.] well, i, uh... wash it?? shampoo and conditioner? ever heard of it? [huff! pouting a little. > - ]

what are you- [ears wiggling about within his paws. / / ○ / / ○ / / ] hey!! this isn't very persuasive! i am NOT convinced by your toying!

nothing. you're staying here until you call me tall!! because i am NOT short! [spiked tail wiggling around back and forth, holding his head up high.] anything other than that won't work! you'll be trapped forever!!